It wouldn’t be any different with Claudia Mathison.
CLAUDIA WOKE TO a sharp rap at her hotel room door. She pushed up from the pillows and groaned, realizing that she’d slept in her clothes the night before. Squinting, she tried to make out the time, then cried out when she saw it was already past noon. She hadn’t overslept in years. The latest she allowed herself to linger in bed was 8:00 a.m., and that was only on Sundays.
She scrambled out of bed but her legs got tangled in the sheets and she lurched toward the door, her head pounding. When she pulled it open, she found Rogan standing in the hallway. “Why didn’t you wake me earlier? What’s going on? Where is everyone?”
“We’re waiting downstairs. Did you just wake up?”
“Of course, I just woke up,” she said. “If I’d been awake earlier, I would have been downstairs on time.”
“You’re wearing the same clothes you were wearing last night.”
Leave it to Rogan Quinn to state the obvious. “It’s your fault. You gave me that last drink.” She strode to the bed and began to gather her things. Then she stopped.
The events of the previous evening came flooding back into her mind. Their conversation. The way he’d touched her. The kiss. Warmth rose in her cheeks.
“I apologize, that was unfair. I was feeling sorry for myself and I drank too much. You’re not in any way culpable.”
“Thank you,” Rogan said, glancing around the room. He reached down and picked up an empty bag of crisps. “What did you do, raid the minibar?”
“I was hungry.” She stopped. “Before I go any further, I have something to say. I seem to recall that I kissed you last night. And I want to apologize if I compromised your professional integrity by doing that. I meant no disrespect.”
“We both participated in that kiss,” Rogan said. “And it was quite enjoyable, as I recall. Didn’t you like it?”
Claudia rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. “Of course, I— Yes, it was quite lovely.”
She sank down on the edge of the bed, a sudden wave of dizziness overwhelming her. Rogan had kissed her—or she had kissed him. The particulars really didn’t matter. Though it had been just a brief indulgence, it had been deliciously intriguing. So intriguing that she’d spent a good hour afterward stuffing herself with snacks from the minibar as she tried, with her martini-muddled mind, to analyze exactly what had transpired between them.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
Her stomach roiled, and for a second she thought she might be sick. Then, an instant later, she knew she was going to be sick. “Excuse me,” she muttered as she raced to the bathroom.
The humiliation was almost more than she could bear, but there was no stopping the symptoms of a hangover. When she’d finally finished retching, she glanced up to find him watching her from the doorway of the bathroom. Claudia covered her face with her hands. “Go away!” she cried.
She heard the water running and then he was there, sitting next to her on the floor. He pressed the cool cloth to her forehead. “You look quite lovely this morning,” he said.
Claudia managed a quick laugh. “Oh, I feel lovely,” she replied, her voice filled with sarcasm. She tried to get up, but it was too much effort so she leaned back against the side of the bathtub. “I really didn’t mean what I said,” she murmured. “You’ve really been quite wonderful. And I’ve been an utter mess. You must think I’m a first-class loon.”
“No, I think you’re quite wonderful, as well,” Rogan said.
“I can take the truth,” Claudia said. “I specialize in the truth.”
“I’ve noticed that about you,” Rogan said. “You always say exactly what’s on your mind. I like that about you.” He smoothed the cloth over her cheeks and lips. “So tell me the truth,” he said.
“About what?”
“Would you like to kiss me again?”
She knew she ought to lie, to say that another kiss would be wholly inappropriate. And in a corner of her soul, she realized it could only lead to disaster. Her whole career rested on her reputation, and that meant she’d had to be scrupulous about her professional behavior.
And that was even more true now. If there was even a whiff of impropriety about her, it could jeopardize any thoughts of an academic career. If the hiring committee had even the slightest concern about her conduct, they could put her at the bottom of the list.
And yet, didn’t she deserve to have a personal life, one that included excitement and passion? How could she possibly convince her patients to live in the moment when she didn’t do the same?
If it was just about her, she might consider it. But her father was getting older and as time passed, he’d need even more help and financial support.
Claudia cursed herself inwardly for once again analyzing everything to death. It was just a kiss. It wasn’t as if she planned to jump into bed with him.
“If it’s taking you this long to answer, you must have reservations,” he murmured. “I take back the question.”
She had enjoyed kissing him. And she wanted to try it again just once—after she brushed her teeth two or three times, of course. “Yes,” Claudia said.
“You’d like to kiss me?”
“Yes, but not right now. Maybe later?”
“Later,” he said. “I can wait.”
“I need a bit of time,” she said, her gaze fixed on his. “I have to figure out how to handle you first.”
“I don’t need handling,” Rogan said. “I’m not one of your patients.” He reached over and hooked his finger beneath her chin, his eyes dropping to her lips. “I find myself strangely obsessed with your mouth. Is there a cure for that, Dr. Mathison?”
Claudia groaned inwardly. Did she possess the strength to resist him? Did she even want to attempt to maintain her distance? In all honesty, the trip was already a disaster and her career was probably already ruined. What could possibly make it worse?
When his gaze finally rose to her eyes, Claudia knew she was fighting a lost cause. She was in a weakened state, her confidence flagging, and when he turned his charm on her, she felt so much better about herself.
If one of her patients had said that to her, Claudia probably would have warned her off, explaining that she could become dependent on a man to validate her self-worth. But right now Claudia didn’t care. Rogan could validate all he wanted.
“I should probably go check on the group,” Rogan said. “After I told them what we were going to do today, they seemed a bit anxious.”
“What are we doing?” Claudia asked.
“I’ve arranged a kayaking trip down Puhoi River. It’s smooth water and just eight kilometers. Plus the tide pulls you along so it isn’t too difficult physically. And the scenery is beautiful. I think everyone will enjoy it.”
She groaned softly, the idea of spending the day on a boat causing another wave of nausea. “It sounds...lovely.”
“If you’d prefer to spend the afternoon here, you can join us later.”
“No, no,” Claudia said. “I want to come. I need to come. I have to be there to observe and evaluate.”
“All right. I’m going to give you a few minutes to get yourself together and we’ll be waiting for you in the lobby.” He got to his feet. “Are you sure you’re going to be all right?”
“Yes,”