just need a little more time,” he said. “It’s hard to adjust to being home. Hell, I’m not sure it’s even worth trying to adjust. As soon as I’m clear, I’ll head back to my unit.”
“Why can’t you be done? Just stop. Now.”
“It’s what I do,” he said. “I’m good at it.”
“You could be good at other things,” she said.
Will knew that wasn’t true. This past month had been enough to prove that civilian life wasn’t for him. And though his future in the military was still in doubt, he had every intention of finishing his tour and signing up for another.
He’d always wanted to be a marine. His father had been a marine, and his grandfather had been a submariner in the US Navy. Will had grown up with the stories about WWII and Vietnam, about honor and glory and serving with courage. Will had felt compelled to honor the family tradition.
His mother and sister had wanted him to wait to get his college degree. And Olivia had never accepted his plans, assuming he’d change his mind at some point or she’d change it for him. She’d never understood how deeply the military was etched into his DNA and he’d never been able to explain it to her.
“I’m going to pick up the boys at school and take them to hockey,” Elly said. “Jim is working late and we’re going to meet him for pizza after practice. You could come with us.”
In truth, all Will wanted to do was crawl back into bed and close his eyes. But Elly was right. He should at least make an attempt to socialize. After all, there was a possibility the doctors wouldn’t clear him to return to his unit and somehow he’d have to figure out how to belong in the land of the living again. “Give me a minute to get dressed,” he said, raking his hands through his hair.
Elly handed him the shirt and gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you,” she whispered.
She waited for him in the rusty SUV while Will pulled himself together. It took him a while. Since the explosion, his brain had been scrambled and it took longer to sort out the steps in any task. The doctors had said it would become easier once the effects of the head trauma faded.
He spent five minutes searching for his sunglasses, then found them on the kitchen table, in plain view. He slipped them on as he stepped outside into the low afternoon light. Drawing a deep breath of crisp, clean air, Will paused to let his head clear before starting toward Elly’s truck.
As they drove into town, a country song started blaring from the radio. Wincing, Will reached out to turn it off and Elly glanced over at him. “Are you all right?”
“It’s just a little difficult to process noise,” he said. “It makes my head hurt.”
“I’m calling tomorrow to make another appointment for you at the VA. You were supposed to go when you arrived home and that was three weeks ago. You should—”
“They said it would take time,” Will interrupted. “It’s hardly been four months since the...accident. The doctors expect it to take at least twice that before I start to feel normal again.”
“What if it doesn’t get better?” Elly asked.
“Then I get a different MOS,” he said. “There are a lot of things I can do in the corps.”
“But not in Afghanistan?”
“I don’t know,” Will snapped, his irritation rising. He wasn’t sure he could survive a life outside of active duty. In the past three weeks, he’d felt as if he was moving through mud, all his senses slowing until he could hardly breathe. He craved the adrenaline rush of his job, the chaos that surrounded him every day, the pulse-pounding excitement of his work.
His dad had always said he’d never felt more alive than when he’d faced death as a soldier. He’d told Will that every man needed to experience these deeply held fears before he could gain perspective on the rest of his life. Strange how it was the exact opposite for Will. He’d learned to feed on his fear, to use it like a drug to numb his body and his mind. He didn’t feel alive. He was dead inside.
“You’ve got to find a new line of work,” Elly said, an edge of sarcasm coloring her words.
They drove into Calumet and headed toward the school. But Elly pulled over in front of the post office, then grabbed a package from the rear seat of the SUV. “Could you run that in for me?” she asked, reaching for her purse. She held out a ten-dollar bill.
“What is it?” he asked.
“A swimsuit. It was supposed to be for our vacation to Mexico in March, but I look like the great white whale in it. I hate winter. I get so...plump.”
“You’ve got to find a new place to live,” he said.
Elly laughed. “I’m going to run and grab a couple bottles of Gatorade for the boys. I’ll be back for you in five minutes.”
Will got out of the truck and walked up the front steps of the post office. When he got inside there were two people in line in front of him and he waited patiently, hoping no one would recognize him. But his hopes were shattered when the first person in line turned to leave and looked straight at him.
The world seemed to grind to a halt around him as he met her gaze. He held his breath, hoping she’d walk right by, but she stopped.
A tiny gasp slipped from her lips. “Will?”
She didn’t look anything like he’d thought she would. His memories of Olivia Eklund had been of a girl frozen at age twenty, young and fresh faced with copper hair and freckles across the bridge of her nose. She still had copper-colored hair, but it was now streaked with blond and fell in soft waves around her face.
“Liv,” he murmured. The room felt as if it was tilted and he couldn’t keep his balance. God, she was stunning. She was, and always would be, the most beautiful woman he’d ever known.
“I—I heard you were home,” she said.
“Not for long,” Will replied. “I’m headed back. Soon. Real soon.”
“Oh,” she said, forcing a smile. “Well...”
“Yes,” he said, his gaze drifting down to her lips. He remembered what it felt like to kiss those lips, to taste the sweet warmth of her mouth. He remembered the first time he’d kissed her, on her fifteenth birthday. Will fought the temptation to pull her into his arms and discover whether his memories were accurate. Instead, he balled his hands into tight fists. “You look...good.”
Hell, she looked beautiful. Radiant. Gorgeous.
She smiled and shrugged. “You look...great.” Liv drew a deep breath. “I—I should go. It was great seeing you again. Take care, all right?” She hurried to the door and he watched as she stepped out into the cold.
When he turned back around, he found the postal clerk and the other patron watching him. He recognized them both. The clerk was a girl who’d graduated the year before him in high school and the patron was his old English teacher, Mrs. Paulis.
“Awkward,” Will said, forcing a smile. He spun and walked out of the lobby, Elly’s package still tucked beneath his arm. He waited outside in the cold, pacing a short stretch of sidewalk until Elly pulled up.
When he got inside, he tossed the package onto her lap angrily. “Did you set that up? Did you know she’d be there?”
“Who? Why didn’t you mail this?”
“Are you saying you had no idea she’d be there?”
“Kristina Olson?”
“No, Liv. Olivia was in the post office.”
Her eyes went wide. “Of course I had no idea she’d be in there. Jeez, Will, it’s a small town. You’re going to run into people you know. Get over it.”
“I’ve