demanding that she not let Alexander Fairchild destroy her life and her peace of mind a second time. Raymond was a good man and they would have a good marriage. If bells didn’t ring when he kissed her, then so much the better. Bells had certainly rung when Alexander had kissed her, but they’d never been going to turn into wedding bells. They’d tolled a different bell, leaving her to be crippled for years by guilt and shame.
‘I was just going,’ she told Raymond with surprising calm. ‘It won’t take me long to get ready.’
See, she told herself as she swept down the hallway and into her bedroom. You can handle this. You’re different now. You’re an adult, not some silly, impressionable young girl. He won’t get to you a second time. You simply won’t let him!
CHAPTER TWO
JUDITH’S bedroom was the last on the right-hand side of the upstairs hall. Its one large window looked out over the pool and showed a glimpse of Sydney Harbour through the tall trees which lined the back yard. The furniture in the room was dark and elegant, and of good quality walnut, the furnishings equally elegant, in rich cream and apricot colours.
Despite its sophisticated decor, it looked like a young girl’s room, for it was full of soft toys of every shape, colour and size. Most of them were bears, sitting in rows along the wall and on every available shelf. But there was also a pair of white rabbits perched on the armrests of the armchair under the window, and a huge pink elephant filling one corner. A long sausage dog called Woofa lay across the end of her bed, and a huge St Bernard called Berni stood guard next to the door.
Judith’s pride and joy, however, was her prized panda which shared her bed, getting under the sheets with her at night and lying contentedly against her pillows during the day. Peter Panda had been a present from her father on her eighth birthday, and had proved to be a great comfort to her in moments of loneliness or distress. She loved the feel of his velvet-soft fur, and his wonderful ability to listen to her complaints and confessions without a single critical word.
Judith had added to her collection of silent comforters during her growing-up years whenever she had money of her own. Each toy had been selected for its extra-soft feel and the expression of love and sweet sympathy in its eyes. Whenever she looked at them and held them, Judith instantly felt better. She believed they were worth their weight in gold, and had saved her a fortune in therapy and medication.
Raymond’s mother thought her toys cute. Raymond had simply smiled indulgently when he’d first seen them. Margaret had denounced Judith’s collection as neurotic and unhealthy.
‘I’ll bet she even talks to them,’ she’d sneered to Raymond one day.
Which, of course, she did.
‘You’ll never guess who’s turned up again,’ she told them all as she hurried into her room. ‘Alexander Fairchild! But don’t worry, I’m not about to make a fool of myself again. Can’t talk now. I have to get ready and I’m running late.’
Flinging open the doors of the wardrobe, she ran her eyes over the clothes hanging before her.
Judith had never been a flashy or a sexy dresser, not even back in her days with Simon. Nowadays, her attire was even more conservative. But Raymond was right. She’d been shopping for her honeymoon lately and had purchased a couple of outfits which might be described as glamorous. Raymond was going to take her on a South Pacific cruise and had instructed her to buy some clothes suitable for elegant evening dining.
Her hand moved to one such new purchase. Primrose-yellow, it was a deceptively innocent creation if one kept the jacket on. The dress, however, was styled like a petticoat, silky and clinging, with shoe-string straps holding up a bodice that moulded around her breasts like a second skin.
Judith stared at it for a moment, unsure of wearing such a provocative gown in Alexander’s presence. Till she reminded herself that her passion for the man had been a one-sided affair, his desire all being pretence. She could probably stand naked before him tonight and he wouldn’t turn a hair.
Angry defiance took hold of Judith at the thought. She threw the outfit onto the bed then marched into the shower. Some considerable time later, she stood in front of the dressing-table mirror, gnawing away at her bottom lip as she surveyed the dress again, now that it was on her body.
Judith was not a busty girl.
But still...
She gulped at the sight of her tall, slender form encased in that clinging yellow silk. The effect was not only sexy. It was downright seductive!
Despairingly, she dragged on the thigh-length jacket with its long sleeves and high Chinese collar, then took another look. Ah, that was much better. Her braless breasts, and especially her irritatingly hard nipples, were now well covered. No way did she want anyone misinterpreting any unfortunate body language, especially Alexander. She was determined to show him she felt nothing for him any more, nothing except a mild derision and a total lack of interest.
A loud rap on the door made her jump.
‘Ten minutes, Judith,’ Raymond ordered peremptorily through the door. ‘I’ll meet you downstairs, at the front door, right on the dot of seven forty-five.’
Judith bristled at Raymond’s officiousness, which was silly, because he wasn’t being any different from his usual self. He’d always been a bit bossy, and punctuality was an obsession with him. Being a trained nurse, she was used to schedules and appointed times. Usually, she found them comforting. But tonight, for some reason, she was irritated by Raymond’s autocratic attitude.
‘I’ll be ready, Raymond,’ she called back, gritting her teeth as she did so.
Turning back to the mirror, Judith set about doing her hair, deft fingers whisking her long chestnut-brown locks up at the sides, and anchoring it on top of her head with a gold and tortoiseshell comb. The rest she left to tumble halfway down her back, its natural wave demanding no attention other than a quick brush.
She’d already done her make-up, her clear olive complexion needing little adornment, just a brushing of blusher. At night, she always emphasised her large green eyes with mascara and earth-toned eye shadows. Her mouth, which was wide and full, did not really suit red lipsticks, so she generally stuck to browns.
Judith stared at the finished result in the mirror. She looked good. More than good. She looked glamorous, and sultry, and downright sexy.
‘What do you think?’ she asked her silently watching audience. ‘Too provocative? Yes? No? Say something, for pity’s sake!’ She whirled round to glare into Peter’s soulful eyes. ‘I know what you’re thinking. You think I want him to look at me—just once—with real desire in his eyes, don’t you? Don’t you?’ she repeated, stalking over to snatch the panda up and shake him.
‘Well, maybe I do,’ she admitted with a strangled sob, and hugged the panda tightly to her. ‘But there’s no danger of that happening, Peter. He never really fancied me, not one little bit. He just pretended. He didn’t want me. He just wanted revenge!’
It had happened two days before the actual wedding, the night of the big party, when everyone for miles around came to meet Simon’s prospective bride. Anyone who was anyone, that was. Simon’s family only mixed with the best in country society.
Judith felt ill-at-ease all night in her simple green party dress, especially when Simon kept leaving her alone for great chunks of time on end. She’d never been one for mixing at parties, not having been blessed with Simon’s easy charm. Several times, she felt Alexander’s intense gaze upon her, but she steadfastly resisted looking back at him.
By the time the antique clock on the wall in the main living room struck midnight, the party was in full swing. Drinks flowed. A lot of people were merry, and many were downright drunk. A sozzled Simon had just reappeared after another absence, only to immediately excuse himself again. He’d said he was going to get her a drink, despite her protest that she didn’t want another. She’s already had far too many glasses of champagne on her relatively empty