Keira closed her eyes and prayed for strength, for patience and for the next few days to fly past.
Keira knew the moment Tanner stopped by their table. She had no choice but to look up at him. His head was bare; he tapped his worn cowboy hat against his leg. His cheeks still shone from his shave this morning and she saw a tiny nick on his chin. His white shirt was wrinkled but his blue jeans were brand-new. His gaze landed on Keira, his smile as forced as hers, the tension between them thick as syrup.
“Good to see you again, Tanner,” Brooke said in a falsely cheerful voice. “How do you like our new pastor?”
“He’s good,” Tanner said, turning his attention to Brooke. “I appreciated his message and how he delivered it.”
Keira experienced a stab of jealousy at how his smile softened and grew more genuine when he looked at Brooke but tamped it as quickly as it came. She couldn’t allow herself to want or need anything from Tanner.
“And I hear you’re going to the NFR,” Brooke continued, switching topics with lightning speed, obviously ignoring Keira’s faint nudges against her leg.
“Yeah. I had a good year.”
“So, what brings you to the Grill and Chill?” Keira finally asked, knowing her silence was creating a continued awkwardness.
“George here said he could hook me up with a friend who has a place to stay.”
Keira felt relief, with a surprising touch of regret.
“That’s good,” Keira said with false heartiness. “I hope you find a place.”
“I thought you were staying at the Bannisters’?” Brooke asked.
Tanner’s eyes slid from Keira’s back to Brooke. “It’s just easier if I don’t. Alice is there already and I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.”
“A burden,” Brooke scoffed. “Refuge Ranch was like your second home. Though I can see why you wouldn’t hang around Alice. I still can’t believe she hasn’t offered you part of the ranch. She knows it only came to her because she married your dad.”
This netted her another nudge from Keira, which Brooke also ignored.
“Have you thought about hiring a lawyer?” she continued.
Another nudge. It was as though her friend was poking a stick around in a bear’s den, determined to get a reaction from Tanner. Brooke knew as much about the history of Tanner and his stepmother as Keira did. Why was she pushing?
“It is what it is,” Tanner said quietly. “I can’t spend too much time looking back over my shoulder. I have to look ahead.”
Keira heard an underlying tone in his voice and knew that in some oblique way he was referring to their old relationship.
“Are Monty and John still leaving today?” Tanner asked, glancing at Keira. “I offered to help load the heifers but they said they would be okay.”
“I think that’s the plan,” Keira said. “Though Dad said he wanted to get some more work done on the saddle this morning before he left, which is why he didn’t come to church.”
“When will Monty be back?”
She knew he was thinking about his saddle. “They’re staying at Giesbrooks’ tonight and coming back tomorrow.”
He nodded. “So will he get the saddle done on time, you think?”
“If he gets at it as soon as he comes back. How long can you stay?”
“I wanted to head back before Thursday.”
That meant he would be gone for Thanksgiving. She felt a touch of relief. It was hard enough that Lee and Heather weren’t coming for Thanksgiving, having Tanner around would make the celebration that much harder.
“Hey, Tanner. What ill wind blew your restless self into town today?” George Bamford joined them, wiping his hands on a towel, his dark brown eyes flicking over the group. George was tall, lanky and favored plaid shirts, khaki pants and sneakers. He’d moved to Saddlebank ten years ago, bought the Grill and Chill and had been cooking up hamburgers and fries ever since.
“Nor’wester,” Tanner quipped.
“Nasty one. Though I hear there’s a storm coming in from the north. Another one of those Canuck clippers that never bring anything good.”
“There’s always a storm brewing in Montana in the winter,” Tanner returned. “So, you find a place for me to stay?”
George’s eyes slid to Keira, the faintest question in them as if wondering if it was her fault that Tanner didn’t want to stay at Refuge Ranch.
Keira picked up her mug and took another sip of the coffee that had lost any hint of warmth just to avoid George’s gaze, Brooke’s questions and Tanner’s presence.
“I did. Buddy of mine has a place you can crash,” George said, flipping the towel over his shoulder, his hands resting on his hips. “He’s gone now but he’ll be back tomorrow for a couple hours. Come to his place at seven in the morning and he can give you the keys. Show you what’s what.”
“Sounds good.”
“You girls need anything more?” George asked, turning his attention back to Keira and Brooke. “You want me to get you a hot cup of coffee, Keira?”
Keira caught her friend’s eager look upward but George wasn’t paying attention to her.
Her heart broke for her friend. She wished she could tell her that guys will always disappoint you. That it wasn’t worth it, but now was not the time or place.
“I’m okay,” Keira replied. “I should get going anyhow.” She reached over to get her purse but before she could open it, Tanner had dropped a handful of bills on the table.
“On me,” he said, slipping his wallet in his back pocket.
“No. That’s okay,” Keira protested. “I can pay for this.”
“So can I,” Tanner said, laying his hand on hers to stop her.
She recognized his usual response to her oft-spoken protest. And for the same slow second she felt the warmth of his hand on hers. The old rhythms of their old relationship.
Her thoughts slipped, unwanted, back to that moment last night when he had helped her bandage her hand. The feel of his hand so familiar it created an ache deep in her soul. A yearning for what could never be.
Then he snatched his hand back and Keira felt her chest crumple.
It was a good thing he wasn’t staying at the ranch anymore. Seeing him every day was too much a reminder of what she had lost.
The sound of a blustering wind howling around the cabin pulled Tanner out of a troubled dream. He groaned, the fresh injury aching as he rolled over onto his back, sleep getting slowly pulled away.
He lazily rolled his head to the side to check the time. The clock radio beside the bed blinked eight-thirty. As the numbers registered, he sat up and tossed the tangled sheets aside.
Too late. He was supposed to have been out of here before seven o’clock to meet George’s buddy in town.
He jumped out of bed, shivering as the chill of the bedroom hit him. The woodstove must have gone out last night. Snow ticked at the window as the wind gusted. Sounded like a bad storm out there.
He rotated his shoulder, massaging the pain away, then tugged on his clothes and boots, the cold in the room and the late hour urging him on.
Tanner shivered again as he stripped the bed and folded up the bedding to bring to the house. He’d get some clean sheets, bring them back, make the bed,