between him and Braden. Since Braden had taken over the family business after their father passed, he’d been adamant about going legitimate, and that included how they took care of their enemies. Ryker insisted that ending their old practices so suddenly would make them look weak and invite retribution.
Laney was still unsure what happened to her ex, but she was fine about being kept in the dark regarding that.
“Why don’t you get back home to your bride?” Laney suggested. “It’s late. I’m just going to sit here and tear up a little over Mom’s things.”
Braden looked as if he wanted to say more. That intense stare could make even the most seasoned criminal break, but Laney wasn’t caving. She’d grown up around strong-willed alphas her entire life. Not much fazed her.
“If you have any issues, you call me or Ryker immediately.”
Laney nodded, though if she had an issue she’d deal with it herself. She wasn’t a helpless female.
Once she hugged her loving, overprotective brother good-night, she reset her alarm and glanced around at the mess. The tree sat completely naked in the corner near the fireplace where she always put it. She wasn’t even sure at this point if she had any working lights. She tried to buy new ones each year, but, well, this year had been a bit exceptional and her mind had been elsewhere.
Laney found the box with her garland and decided to work on the staircase. That would be simple enough and keep her mind occupied for a few minutes.
She’d barely started when her thoughts drifted to Ryker. There was always a level of fear anytime she knew he was working. But the not knowing was frustrating. She knew the lead he was working on, she’d supplied him with the intel, but she didn’t like how he insisted on going out alone. He always stayed just detached enough to be in the know but keep to himself. Damn frustrating man.
Laney carefully wrapped the banister, fluffing the greenery as she went. This time next year she’d be playing Santa and buying the baby’s first Christmas things—tacky bibs and ridiculous ornaments would be welcome here.
What would her world be like with a child? Laney smiled. As scared as she was to tell her brothers, as worried as she was about what this meant for her and Ryker, there was no way Laney would change one single thing about Miami. This baby would never question how much he or she was loved, and the first person to call this pregnancy a mistake would be throat punched.
The thought of Ryker holding a baby was nearly laughable. She’d never seen his softer side, though she knew he had one. He cared for her, even if he opted to show it in Neanderthal-type ways.
Those whispered words before he left kept playing through her mind. She wished he’d stayed so they could talk, but he was prone to run rather than discuss his feelings. Well, he couldn’t hide from her forever. Eventually they had to talk about the future and their baby.
Laney’s cell chimed from the living room. She hurried down the stairs and carefully maneuvered the minefield of boxes. She found her phone on the coffee table next to a wreath that was in desperate need of fluffing. Because of the time of night, she figured the text would be important.
And she was right.
Ryker’s name lit up her screen, and she swiped her phone to read the message.
Nothing new tonight. Anything come through on your end?
Work. It was always work with him. A sliver of disappointment speared through her as she replied.
Nothing. I’ll keep you posted.
Her thumb hovered over the Send button. She wanted to make this more personal. She wanted to say...something. But Ryker was all work. What would he say if she asked personal questions or called him out on what he’d confessed to her earlier? Could he talk about his feelings when he wasn’t looking her in the face? She understood that. She totally got how people were more apt to open up when they could hide behind an electronic device.
She hit Send but immediately started typing another message.
Earlier when you said you think about me, why were you angry about it?
Laney sent the message before she could change her mind. She wanted to know. She deserved to know, but the screen seemed to mock her as no reply came. She waited several minutes, but still nothing.
Fine. She wasn’t going to beg. Yes, she would give anything to get inside that head of his, but she didn’t want to have to beat the information out of him.
The second she laid her phone down, it chimed once again. Laney stared at the screen. She almost didn’t want to read the message, but she hadn’t been raised to give into any fear.
Because it isn’t right.
Laney resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she contemplated her reply. There was so much to be said, it was too much to text and should be said face-to-face.
But he wasn’t completely closing her out, so she went for it.
Whatever you feel can’t be helped. Why fight it?
Laney jumped when her phone rang. The cell bounced from her hand and onto the sofa, hit a box and landed on the floor. She snatched it up, thankful the screen wasn’t cracked, and she was a bit surprised to see Ryker’s name.
“I didn’t think you’d actually talk to me,” she answered.
“You wouldn’t leave me alone until I did.”
Laney smiled. Just that gruff tone had her nerves calming. Ryker could always make her feel safe, at ease. Even though they argued and got on each other’s nerves, he was her comfort zone. Banter was their normal. Normal was so vanilla. What she and Ryker had, well...that was more Rocky Road.
“Where are you now?” she asked, scooting a box over and taking a seat on her couch.
“Hotel.”
“Plenty of time to talk, then.”
Ryker’s heavy sigh resounded through the line. “I’m not in a chatty mood.”
“Have you ever been?”
“What do you think?”
Laney toed the disorderly wreath aside and propped her socked feet on the coffee table. “Maybe it’s time you stop fighting whatever you’re feeling and just go with it.”
The laugh that escaped him was void of any humor. “Life isn’t that easy.”
“It’s your life, isn’t it? Make it that easy.”
“You think I enjoy pushing my level of self-control?” he asked, his voice gravelly, as if fighting back anger. “I have a responsibility to your brothers. I have a responsibility to you.” He let out a deep sigh. “To our baby.”
Laney’s heart clenched. Closing her eyes, she dropped her head back on the cushion and focused on not botching this. Ryker was so much more to her than she could even put into words, but he may never comprehend that.
“You have a responsibility to yourself,” she said softly. “You owe my family nothing. I know you think you—”
“I owe your family everything. And I’ve betrayed them.”
His last words came out on a strangled breath. Laney stilled. Did he honestly believe that? Was he that torn up over the baby that he truly felt he’d gone against her brothers? Why did everything have to come back to his sense of loyalty to her family? They trusted him, they knew him better than anyone else and they might be angry, but they would still love him.
Tears pricked her eyes, and she cursed her stupid pregnancy hormones. Tears had no place here. She was fighting for what she wanted, what Ryker wanted. Hell, what they deserved.
“If that’s how you feel, then there’s nothing I can say. If you don’t want anyone to know this baby is yours, we don’t have to say anything. I can just say I’m not involved with the father