made a face at him. “My coffee is not girly. It’s just delicious. And on a bad day I take an extra shot of espresso. Keeps me out of jail.”
“You understand I’m an experienced investigator, don’t you?” He made a warning face over the rim of his cup. “Anything you say may be used against you.”
She laughed. “Charges vary depending on the occasion. Where’s Emma?”
Alex waved his free hand toward the house. “I sent them to get changed. Which means their church clothes will add to yesterday’s clutter.”
“Because you were shopping for garden advice.”
He accepted that, bemused. “I won’t pretend I’m good at keeping up with things when I’m in and out. It’s easy on my days off. When I’m working we fall drastically behind.”
“Pay ’em.”
“What?” He turned more fully her way, confused.
Lisa lifted her gaze to the house. “Give them a generous allowance to take care of things. Josh is little, but Becky and Emma are old enough to understand responsibility, right?”
Usually he balked, affronted, when someone told him how to raise the kids, but something in how Lisa said it made him more open to the idea.
Or maybe because it was Lisa saying it... He’d examine that more fully later.
“An allowance. I tried that last year. Didn’t work.”
“For how long?”
He cringed, knowing he’d caved too soon. “A couple of weeks.”
Her expression called him out. Her eyes crinkled. He took a deep swallow of coffee and sighed. “How come you know so much about kids if you don’t have any, Lisa?”
“Times change. Kids don’t. My mother was good at setting the bar high but reachable. My brother and I learned to work and earn at a young age.”
“Adam’s a good guy.” That’s as much as he’d say because he realized yesterday that her brother was also a trooper, same area, different barracks. He’d heard nothing but good concerning the younger Fitzgerald. Solid cops employed a firm separation of work vs. home rule, but he’d have been foolish not to notice Adam Fitzgerald’s work ethic, his high “answered calls” rate. “Your mom paid you to work?”
“From early on. Of course that’s normal on a farm, but it taught us to respect time and money. If the kids have a list of chores, they can check them off each day and collect their pay at the end of the week. If things aren’t checked off, no money.”
It made perfect sense. And he had solid follow-through at work. Why was his follow-through more difficult at home?
Because he hated being the bad guy all the time.
Still, Lisa made a good point. A list, a visual... Becky and Emma might respond well to that. He nodded and sipped his coffee, feeling more at peace than he had two hours ago. A quiet church service...a few compliments on his children’s behavior from some sweet old folks...and now, coffee with Lisa.
He felt almost serene.
The back door opened and the kids streamed out, shouting their joy. Serenity gave way to mayhem, but in a fun way.
“Lisa, you’re still here!”
“Hey, Lisa, I was good! Will you tell me about the toad garden now?”
“Dad, can I have another donut?”
Josh’s face wore the white sugar remnants of his first donut from Seb Walker’s pastry case, and possibly the second if the telltale streak of chocolate meant anything. “I’m going to bet you had enough for now, bud. Let’s get you washed up, then you can play.”
“Lisa, were you able to sketch the garden?” Emma’s bright voice reminded Alex that Lisa had come to work. Even so, having her waiting in the backyard, looking spring-morning fresh when he first rounded the corner of the old brick house, made his heart surge with delight.
He tossed Josh over his shoulder, hauled him inside and scrubbed him clean. He put the donuts up high because Josh wasn’t above helping himself to a second brunch, then went back outside with the preschooler. This might be Emma’s project, but Lisa made it clear that the whole family needed to be on board.
Therefore, sitting in on her session with Emma should be considered a requirement. And that made his Sunday morning that much brighter.
* * *
Lisa needed to leave, ASAP. Before Alex came back with his adorable son, before Becky won her heart by trying so hard to be like her big sister, before Emma grasped her hand one more time.
She needed to leave while she could still control the temptation within, the urge to test the waters with Alex and his beautiful family.
Billboard-size warnings blazed in her head. She’d faced the dragon of cancer head on, out of necessity. She wasn’t a warrior or a hero. She had done what was required to live, but in this weathered yard she was surrounded by the reality of early loss. Three motherless kids. A widowed father. An empty seat at the table. A yawning gap in the car.
Inviting male attention was too risky. She needed to embrace that reality. She gave Emma’s shoulder a quick squeeze and moved toward the road.
“We’re all set? Already?”
The surprise in Alex’s tone stopped her. She turned and planted a smile on her face as he came through the back door. “You snooze, you lose.”
He didn’t feign the look of disappointment, but when she glanced at her watch, he nodded, understanding. “Duty calls.”
“Yes.”
“So. We’re on for tomorrow?”
The way he said it made their 4-H session sound like a date. It wasn’t. “Four o’clock.” She turned and shook Becky’s hand. “Thanks for turning things around, kiddo.”
“You’re welcome.” Becky’s smile and the grip of her fingers said she didn’t want Lisa to go.
Lisa had no choice.
“See you tomorrow, Lisa!” Emma grasped her other hand, then hugged her around the waist, and Lisa couldn’t resist hugging her back. Such a little thing. A hug.
But hugs came with great expectations sometimes, and Lisa wasn’t free to explore those.
Really? That’s what you’re going with? Her conscience prodded. Do you think you’re the only woman who’s gone through this?
No, but she knew the statistics. Better than they were a generation ago, but not great. Not when she held women’s hands in hospice on a regular basis the past few years.
On top of that, how did a woman bring cancer and loss of body parts into casual conversation with a man who appeared interested? Right now, she was an eighth-grader, tongue-tied and awkward.
“I’ll walk you to your car.” Alex turned, still carrying Josh. The four-year-old squirmed to get down, but Alex held tight. “You can’t be in the backyard without me, bud. Not until you’re bigger.”
“Stay with him.” Lisa stopped, faced Alex and put a hand on the little boy’s shoulder. “Give him some play time. He’s been so good this morning.”
“Mostly.” Alex head-bumped the impish boy. His grin made Lisa’s heart soften with yearning. Resolved, she resisted the urge to linger.
She raised her notebook higher. “Emma and I can plug this into the computer tomorrow and see what the landscape program suggests. Then we’ll refine it together.”
“I can’t wait.”
The way he said it...
Smiling. Deliberate. With his gaze trained