looked out at the lake. “Think we can make it all the way to the lighthouse?”
“Joel—”
“It’s already pretty warm, but if you’re game, I am.”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t hear those guys.” She dropped his hand and faced him. “I know you did.”
He shrugged. “You don’t owe me an explanation.”
She fiddled with the strap on her bag and looked at her shoes. “But I don’t want you to think that I...”
“I don’t think that.”
Her eyes met his. “You don’t?”
He stepped closer. They were already standing close so now he was only a breath or two away. “Believe me, I know better than to let other people form opinions for me.”
“Okay.” She stepped back, putting a couple of feet of space between them. “But if you don’t want to spend time with me after that, I understand.” Why had she said that? Again and again she shoved people away before they had the chance to reject her.
“Shelby, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but no one’s forcing me to spend time with you.” He laughed and held up a hand. “Okay, technically the chief is forcing me to spend time with you, but I’m glad because without him I’d have to think of an excuse to do the same.”
“You don’t ever need an excuse.” She wondered if he heard her words; they were so soft.
“Good to know. Come on.” He motioned for her to keep walking with him down the boardwalk. “Dante would love this. I’ve never taken him to a beach before.”
“Once you do, you’ll have to bring him here every day.” Shelby caught his gaze out of the corner of her eye and then glanced away. Something about spending time with this man put her at ease and gave her a chance to be herself more so than with anyone else recently.
“Unfortunately, with my work schedule, he’ll be lucky if I take him here twice a week.”
Right. Firefighters worked long hours that often included overnights. “Like I said before, Joel, I could walk him for you. On the days when you’re working or busy. I wouldn’t mind at all. He’s such a pretty dog.”
“Handsome,” Joel corrected her.
“Right. Handsome.” She winked at him. “I’m sorry if I talk a lot. Caleb says I talk too much. He says I can’t handle silence.” Why had she just said that?
“That’s fine. You can talk as much as you’d like around me. I’ve had enough silence to last a lifetime.” He cleared his throat. “So, how’d you get involved with all this church stuff?” He’d been looking at her before, but now he gazed out at the lake.
Don’t tell him about her involvement with the fire—not yet.
“After the fire, my dad purchased the land the church sat on.”
“The community just sold it—easy like that?”
“I don’t know if you remember, but the congregation had a big rift right before the fire. More than half the members had already left to start a church in a movie theater in Shadowbend.” She pointed to indicate the town north of them. “Those who were left didn’t donate enough to pay the bills to keep the church doors open. To most people, it made more sense to sell the land and move on at the time.”
“But not to you?”
She shrugged. “I miss having a church in town.”
“Then why didn’t your dad rebuild?”
“Oh, he bought the property because he had grand plans of segmenting the land and selling it off for development. He saw dollar signs. But the town board stopped him with zoning laws, tax issues and as much red tape as they could find.” Thankfully. “Mayor Ashby always wanted the church rebuilt.”
Joel stopped and faced her, rocking back on his feet. “I find it hard to believe your dad didn’t look into all that before making that kind of an investment.”
“Really? I mean, we’re talking about the same guy who met a woman on the internet and walked out on his family a month later to be with her. He’s never really been a think-it-through kind of guy.”
“But to hold on to it like that? For so long—with no return on his investment?” Joel scratched his head.
“Spite can make people do a lot of crazy things.” She pressed past Joel and started walking up the boardwalk again. The side closest to the beach was sandy, but on the other side tall clumps of dune grass grew. Shelby lifted her hand so the top of the blades tickled her palm. “Honestly, I don’t really know his reasons...he and I didn’t talk after he left.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I am, too. But he passed away recently and there’s nothing I can do about that. He left me the land, so I figured I can finally do right and rebuild.”
“Whoever you hire for the construction, just make sure they don’t rip you off.”
“Do you know anything about rebuilding?”
“A little. I worked construction for two years before becoming a fireman. Some contractors have ways of up-charging and taking advantage of people who don’t know what’s needed and not needed. Not all contractors are like that, but be careful.”
“Maybe I’ll have you look at the plans when I get them.” She nudged him good-naturedly with her elbow.
“I’d rather not help with the church.” Joel stopped, did a half turn and then raked his fingers through his hair. “That sounded bad. I’m fine with the fund-raiser, but when it comes to the actual church building—not that I have anything against the church, I’m a Christian, but...man, it’s hot out here already. Maybe we shouldn’t walk all the way to the lighthouse.”
“It’s warmer than usual.” Shelby stopped herself right before she pushed up her sleeve.
“Do you want me to carry your sweatshirt?” Joel held out his hand.
“No. I’m fine,” she lied. “I’m not even hot.”
“You’re sweating.” He tapped his forehead.
She used her sleeve to wipe the sweat off her brow. “I’m fine.”
But she wasn’t—not because of the heat, but because already in their first time hanging out together she’d been reminded why she couldn’t ever be more than friends with Joel, even if she wanted to be. Her scars had already caused tension.
She’d have to keep better control of her emotions, because as nice as it was to forget about her problems and talk with Joel, it wasn’t worth the pain she would feel if she started to care about him and he eventually rejected her.
He shouldn’t have come here. Didn’t he know better? But he pressed down the kickstand to his motorcycle and climbed off the bike anyway.
Crossing his arms, Joel surveyed the land where the Community Church of Goose Harbor once sat. Visible from everywhere in town, the white spire topped with a cross had been the tallest point in Goose Harbor. Until he burned it down.
If he could go back in time... If he could have a redo... If he could...
Joel shook his head. Entertaining what-ifs never helped anyone.
He raked his hand through his hair and then stepped over the small metal fence that closed in the area. Not worried about the sign that said Private Property Keep Out.
Weeds and knee-high