Humiliation flamed so hot it was as if a hole burned in her stomach. She pulled to a stop in front of her parents’ home and shook her head at herself.
Glancing in the mirror, she saw that her hair was a mess, her lipstick smudged halfway across her face. If her mother caught sight of her, she would know that Stacey hadn’t just been running errands. Jeanne Fortune Jones was one of the most intuitive women on the earth, especially when it came to her children.
Stacey searched through her purse and found an elastic band but no brush. She raked her fingers through her hair and pulled it into the low messy bun she frequently wore. She pulled out a tissue and wiped the gloss off her face, then reapplied just a little to her lips. She checked the buttons on her coat, making sure they were properly fastened.
Holding her breath, she decided to make a dash through the foyer. “Well, there you are,” her mother said from the kitchen. “I was starting to wonder where you’d gone so long.”
“Sorry, Mom,” Stacey said, pulling at the buttons on her coat. “I’ve got to use the bathroom or I’m going to burst. I’ll be out in just a few,” she said, and ran down the hall. She took her time, then hid out in her bedroom a little longer.
“Stacey, dinner’s ready,” her mother called.
Stacey cringed, then stiffened her spine. She could and should focus on Piper. As she stepped into the kitchen, she was relieved to see her brothers Liam and Jude sitting down to the table along with her father and mother. Her father and her brothers were too busy talking about the ranch to notice her. Her mother had put Piper in her high chair. As soon as Piper spotted Stacey, she lifted her hands and smiled in joy.
Even though the baby wasn’t speaking yet, her nonverbal language soothed Stacey’s heart, and she immediately picked up her baby. “Well, hello to you, Sweet Pea,” she said, and sat down with Piper in her lap.
“She’s never going to learn to be happy in her high chair if you don’t leave her in there,” Jeanne said.
“I’ll put her in her seat in a couple minutes. How could I resist that smile?” Stacey asked.
“Your food will get cold,” her mother warned.
Stacey shrugged. “I’m not that hungry.”
Her brother Liam glanced at her. “In that case, I’ll take Stacey’s share.”
Her mother shook her head. “You will not,” she said. “Besides, there’s plenty to go around. Stacey made this meat loaf yesterday, so she deserves a few bites.”
“I hope you didn’t mind putting it in the oven,” Stacey said, rising to get some dry cereal for Piper.
“Not at all. You were just gone longer than I expected, so I started getting a little worried,” she said, and Stacey felt the unasked question in her mother’s voice.
She sighed, knowing she would have to fib, and heaven knew she wasn’t any good at deception. “I ordered something for Piper, and I wanted to see if it had been delivered to the P.O. box yet. No luck, and there was a long line at the post office,” she said. Part of her tale was true. She had ordered something for Piper, but it wasn’t due for days. “Then I stopped by to visit Rachel, but she wasn’t there. She had saved a recipe for homemade baby food I thought I might try. I guess the whole trip was a washout. Was Piper okay while I was gone?” Stacey sprinkled some cereal on the top of Piper’s high chair, then set her child in the seat.
“An angel. She took a long nap and woke up in a quiet mood,” her mother said, and finally took a bite of her own food. Her mother was usually the last to eat. “You need to sit down and eat,” she told Stacey.
“I am,” Stacey said and took her seat. She forced herself to take a bite.
“Did you happen to see Colton when you stopped by the Fosters’?” her mother asked as she took a sip of coffee.
Stacey’s bite of meat loaf hung in her throat, and she coughed repeatedly.
“What’s wrong with you? Are you choking?” her brother Jude asked, then thumped her on her back.
“Water,” her mother said, standing up and leaning over the table to pick up Stacey’s glass of water and press it into Stacey’s hand.
Stacey took a few sips. Everyone looked at her expectantly. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly. “I think I tried to breathe the meat loaf instead of eat it.”
Liam chuckled. “Make sure you teach that little one over there a different technique.”
“I will, smarty-pants,” she said, and was determined to take the focus off herself. “The Winter Festival is right around the corner. I can’t decide whether to bake apple/blueberry pies, chocolate pies or red velvet cupcakes.”
“Apple/blueberry,” her father said.
“Chocolate,” Liam said.
“All three,” Jude said.
Her mother laughed. “Aren’t you glad you asked their opinions? Any of those sound good to me, but make sure you bake an extra one of whatever you end up making for us, or there’s going to be a lot of complaining,” Jeanne said, tilting her head toward her husband and sons.
Stacey smiled in relief. She would escape an inquisition this time.
* * *
The next few days, Stacey developed a plan for her tutoring service. She knew her strengths were math and science, so she decided to focus on those subjects as she contacted the local schools. She also sent an email to Rachel since she knew her friend was doing her student teaching this semester.
Her mother caught her reviewing a flyer at the kitchen table and gave a sound of surprise. “When did you decide to start tutoring?”
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Piper is older, but still manageable. I’m hoping to schedule the sessions during after-school hours. She takes a long afternoon nap, so I’d like to take advantage of that time and bring in a little bit of money.”
Her mother frowned. “If you needed money, you should have asked for it. Your father and I are happy to help you,” she said, squeezing Stacey’s shoulder.
Stacey’s heart swelled at her mother’s support. “You and Dad are already letting me stay here without paying rent. I don’t like feeling as if I’m not contributing.” She sighed. “I don’t like feeling like a deadbeat.”
Her mother sat down beside her. “Oh, sweetheart, you’re no deadbeat. You fix the meals and do the laundry and cleaning here. For goodness’ sakes, I barely have to lift a finger with all you do.”
“Thanks, but—”
“No buts,” Jeanne said. “We know that Joe hasn’t offered any financial support, and he should have. At some point, you may have to confront him about that.”
Stacey shook her head. “I hate the thought of it. He rejected both of us so thoroughly. I hate the thought of asking him for anything.”
“But he is your baby’s father,” her mother said. “He has some responsibilities.”
“I wish he wasn’t Piper’s father. I wish her father was someone more responsible, mature. Someone who adored her.” A lump of emotion caught in her throat. “I wish—” she said, her voice breaking. She took a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter what I wish. I’m probably never going to find anyone that loves me and Piper, and I need to stop whining about it. Piper and I are so blessed that my family loves us and supports us.”
“Well, of course we love you,” her mother said. “But you’re young, and you have a long life ahead of you. You’ll find someone—”
“I don’t think so,” Stacey interrupted. “I can’t count on that. I can’t hope for it. I’ve just got to focus on doing the right thing for Piper, and I think tutoring is the right thing.”