hardly breathe. Panic shot through her still-sleep-fogged mind.
Then she heard it.
A deep voice, Colt’s voice, sounded low, gentle, and her initial bout of panic edged away to be replaced by a wary tenderness.
Penny followed his voice, moving slowly, cautiously, through the house that had been hers for the last two years. The house that was still filled with memories from her own childhood. The house where she’d made a home for her kids.
At the kitchen doorway, she paused, unnoticed by the three people in the room. The twins were in their high chairs, slapping tiny palms against trays that held gleefully mushed scrambled eggs. Their father—Colt—sat opposite them, talking, teasing, laughing when Reid threw a small fistful of egg at him. Penny’s heart ached and throbbed. She used to dream about seeing Colt like this with the twins. Used to fantasize about what it would be like for the four of them to be a family.
And for one quick moment, she allowed herself the luxury of living in that fantasy. Of believing that somehow, the last eighteen months had been written differently. That Colt belonged here. With them. With her.
“Are you going to come in or just stand there watching?”
She jolted as he turned his head to spear her with a look. Guilt rushed through her and the fantasy died a quick, necessary death. What was the point in torturing herself, after all, when she knew that Colt didn’t want her? All he wanted was her children. And the twins, he couldn’t have.
“I didn’t think you knew I was here.”
“I can feel your disapproval from here.”
She flushed again and moved into the room. When the twins spotted her, there were squeals of welcome and her heart thrilled to it. She went first to one, then the other, planting kisses and inhaling that wonderful baby scent that clung to each of them. She took a seat close by and watched as Colt continued feeding the babies, dipping a spoon into peach yogurt again and again, distributing it between the twins, who held their mouths open like baby birds.
“You got them up and dressed,” she said, noting the fresh shirts and pants, the little socks on their tiny feet.
“You sound surprised,” he said.
“I guess I am.” In fact, she was stunned. She’d thought that Colt would be lost dealing with the twins. Instead, he had them changed and fed and was behaving as if he always started out his mornings in a three-ring circus.
He never stopped feeding the babies as he spoke. “The King family has been procreating at a phenomenal rate the last few years.” He shrugged. “You can’t go to any family gathering without someone handing you a baby who needs changing or feeding or both. So I’ve had plenty of practice. We all have. Granted, I don’t spend a lot of time with the babies...but enough to know my way around a diaper.”
True. He’d told her about all the children his cousins were having. She just had never once considered that he would have taken any interest in them. As he’d told her himself, Colt wasn’t the family type. He was more interested in risking his life than in living it.
“Still,” he mused, his voice tightening slightly, “I’ve never done it for my own kids before.” He shot her a sideways look that was hard and cold and promised a long talk in the very near future.
“Colt...” She was too tired, too achy to deal with him.
Where Colt was concerned, nothing was easy—except the passion. That had been cataclysmic from the start. From the very first moment they’d met, their eyes had locked and a chemistry like she’d never felt before had burst into life, burning away every inhibition, every ounce of logic, even her most ingrained natural defenses.
Everything she thought she knew about herself had drained away in the face of the overwhelming pull of the magnetism drawing her and Colt together. So she’d let it go. Everything she’d ever believed. Everything she’d ever promised herself. She had surrendered completely to what her body was demanding—and when it was over, when Colt walked away, she’d paid the price.
She wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. So whatever he had to say to her, she would fight him. She would stand strong against that wild feeling of raw passion because she knew that it didn’t last. She’d lived it.
“I think they’re finished,” he said abruptly, cutting off her thoughts. He stood, got a paper towel damp and wiped two happy little faces and sets of grubby fingers. While he did, he asked, “You want to tell me about them?” He paused. “Or is that a secret, too?”
She swallowed hard and stood, unbuckling Riley and lifting the baby into her arms. The twinge of pain was worth it to feel her daughter’s solid warmth pressed against her. Kissing the baby’s cheek, she said, “What do you want to know?”
“Everything, Penny,” he murmured, lifting Reid free of his seat. “I’ve discovered some things on my own in the last couple of hours with them—”
“Tell me,” she said, wondering what he thought of the children he’d only just met.
“Well, for one thing, Reid’s going to be left-handed. And he’s already got a pretty good arm on him.” Colt held the little boy easily in the crook of his arm and grinned when Reid patted both of his cheeks. “And I’ve figured out that Riley is the more adventurous one. She doesn’t like being held for too long. She wants to be on the floor, getting into things. Reid likes cuddling, but he’s more than willing to join his sister to plow through a room.”
Penny laughed shortly. It was such an apt description of the twins. Reid was thoughtful contemplation and Riley was a trailblazer. “You’re right. I always thought Riley was the most like you.”
One black eyebrow lifted and he shook his head. “When we were little, Con was the one off pushing envelopes. I wanted to be near my mom—and the cookie supply.”
She smiled at the image of Colt as a cookie-stealing little boy, but had to ask, “Then why are you the one who flies off to adventure spots while Connor runs your business from an office?”
The light in his eyes dimmed, then went out completely as his features shuttered, effectively sealing her out of whatever he was feeling. “Things change.”
Penny felt as though she’d struck a nerve, but she had no idea how. King’s Extreme Adventures was so well-known that everyone was aware of which twin was the crazy one. The week they were together, Colt had told her stories about his travels for the company.
And most of those stories had terrified her. Being helicoptered in to ski down the sheer face of a mountain? Climbing to the rim of a volcano where the heat of the magma was so intense, you were forced to wear protective heat suits? Parasailing in the Alps. Chasing tornadoes. He’d done them all and more and he seemed to thrive on not only the adventure—but the risk.
And as much as she’d loved him, as much as it had pained her to watch him walk away, she’d had to admit to herself that they never would have worked out anyway. How could she love a man who thought nothing of putting his life on the line in exchange for a brief shot of adrenaline? And now, how could she allow her kids to love a father who was so careless with his own life that one day he wasn’t going to come home?
“You’re right.” Penny carried Riley into the living room and heard Colt following after her. His footsteps were loud against the wood floor and seemed to mimic the thump of her own heart. Having him here in the home she’d made was...distracting.
She had to find a way to get him out again. “Some things do change,” she said, carefully easing the baby onto the floor beside a huge plastic toy bin. She took off the lid and smiled as Riley pulled herself up to wobble unsteadily, a wide, proud smile on her face.
Penny took a seat on the nearby sofa and watched as Colt set Reid down beside his sister. But rather than sitting down with her, Colt moved to the front window and glanced outside at the morning sunlight before turning to face her again.
Judging by