“No,” she said. “I don’t believe I am. I came here to talk about Kirby.”
She saw Conor flinch. “You’ve developed a hard edge, Ellie.”
“I’m not a child anymore, if that’s what you mean.”
He shot her a look over his shoulder, his warm, masculine gaze taking in her navy tank top and khaki skirt. “I’m well aware of that, believe me.” Conor must have noticed that she didn’t wear a wedding ring. Was that why he felt the freedom to say such things to her?
“I believe you offered me a snack,” she said calmly, though her heart was beating overtime.
Conor sat back, his wry smile rueful. “I suppose that means I’m pouring.”
She corralled Emory when he seemed ready to try his luck climbing onto the sofa. “No, sweetheart. No lemonade for you. I have your sippy cup of milk right here.”
Conor shook his head. “Poor kid. I’ll bet you won’t let him have a cookie, either.”
“Of course not.”
Conor laughed as he handed her a glass. “I was only kidding. Even I know a little kid isn’t supposed to have sugar. How old is he? I’m guessing his first birthday is not far off.”
“Ten months. He’s big for his age.”
“I’ll bet Uncle Kirby loves him.”
“He does. The two of them are sweet together.”
“So tell me about Kirby. Why do you think he needs to talk to me?”
Ellie took a long drink and set down her glass, still half-full. “The last year and a half has been really hard for him. Not only losing the foot, but being a patient instead of a physician. He’s used to being the one in charge, the one caring for other people. So not only has he been dealing with the changes in his physical capabilities, he’s gotten it in his head that he won’t be a good doctor now. He has offers waiting from at least four prestigious medical centers across the country, but he refuses to deal with them.”
“I’m not a counselor, Ellie.”
“I know that,” she said. “But you have some inkling of what it’s like to have your whole life turned upside down. You’ve moved on. You’ve made new goals. You’ve accepted your limitations.”
But had he? Had he really? Conor didn’t want to admit, even to himself, that he still grieved the loss of his adolescent dreams. He’d put on a brave face for his family...pretended that he was okay with no longer competing. But deep down, a tiny kernel of futile anger remained that he’d been robbed of doing the one thing that gave him such an incredible rush of exhilaration.
“I didn’t get there overnight, Ellie. Acceptance takes time. And Kirby has lost far more than I ever did.”
“That’s not really true, if you think about it. You had to give up competing completely. But Kirby can still be a doctor.”
Her words sent shock reverberating through Conor’s gut. Had all his pretending been wrong? Would it have made life easier if he’d been up-front about his grief?
He cleared his throat, stunned that a woman he hadn’t seen in a decade and a half could analyze the situation so succinctly. “I’ll talk to him. If you think he wants to see me. But I can’t promise miracles.”
“I appreciate it, Conor.”
Ellie’s grateful smile made him uncomfortable. She glowed this morning, no other word for it. Motherhood suited her. If Conor started hanging out at the Porter household, he would see her regularly. That was probably not a good idea given his fascination with her.
Because there was still the mystery of Emory’s father.
Even so, he was drawn to her warmth and caring. Or maybe it was simply the fact that he was sexually attracted to her. She had a body that was lush and ripe. He ached to touch her, much as he had as a teenager. Only now, he knew the kind of pleasure a man and a woman could share.
Imagining Ellie in his bed was definitely not smart. Tormenting himself was pointless. Conor hadn’t changed. He still courted danger. He still relished the exhilaration of pitting himself against the elements. Which meant that Ellie would be as disapproving as ever when she found out the truth about him.
He picked up Emory and blew raspberries on his tummy, anything to distract himself from the image of Ellie’s naked body. “When do you want me to see Kirby?” he asked, wincing as Emory grabbed handfuls of his hair.
“Whenever it’s convenient for you. I know you have a business to run.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s the off-season. I’m not exactly tied to a desk. What if I order lunch from the deli and we pick it up on the way to your grandfather’s house?”
“That would be perfect. I’d already made some sandwiches for Kirby and Grandpa and left them in the fridge, but they’ll keep until tomorrow.”
“You want to ride with me?”
“I can’t. The car seat, you know.”
“Ah. Yes. Does your grandfather still live in the same house?”
“Yes.” She scooped up Emory.
“Well, in that case, I’ll see you over there in half an hour.”
He helped Ellie load up the car and watched as she drove away. Already he felt a connection that was stronger than it should have been given their long separation.
It occurred to him suddenly that he had asked questions about Kirby, but he still had no idea what Ellie did for a living. Though she downplayed her intelligence in comparison to her twin, he knew she had done well in school, also. The teachers had loved her.
Conor had wanted her. But her refusal to accept him as he was had kept his adolescent urges in check. Nothing had changed. He’d be smart to ignore this inconvenient attraction. Ellie wasn’t the woman for him.
* * *
The deli was accustomed to him placing to-go orders, but they were surprised by the size of this one. The cute teenager behind the counter smiled teasingly. “Having a party, Mr. Kavanagh?” she asked.
Mr. Kavanagh? Hell, did he seem that old to this kid? “Lunch with some friends.”
“We have fresh strawberry cake in the back. One that’s not even sliced yet. You want a few pieces?”
“I’ll buy the whole thing.” Conor would take any help he could get in the way of a welcome offering. He wasn’t at all sure his invitation from Ellie was going to get Kirby’s stamp of approval. Men liked to hide out and lick their wounds. Kirby might not appreciate having Conor show up out of the blue.
At Mr. Porter’s place, Conor parked on the street and unloaded the bags from the deli. With the cake box balanced in one arm, he made his way up the walk. The property was not in great shape. Not too surprising for an older person who didn’t have the strength to handle fix-it jobs.
The paint on the house was peeling in places. He saw a section of rotting wood on a soffit. Several dead plants needed to be replaced. Even the driveway needed to be resurfaced.
Ellie and Kirby no doubt had plenty of financial resources to take care of things, but maybe Conor could offer to do a few odd jobs. It would give him an excuse to hang around, and maybe he could coax Kirby into holding the ladder or drinking a beer while he kept Conor company.
Ellie waited at the door, the baby on her hip. She looked anxious but incredibly beautiful. “I told him you’re coming,” she said. Her eyes were darker than usual. In their depths he saw worry.
“Point