been charming—too charming. Alex had fallen for him quickly, absorbing the affection and attention into her love-starved soul. But deep down she’d known he wasn’t the keeper type. When she’d announced she was pregnant he had hit the door so fast she’d felt the draft. In another situation she would have said good riddance to bad rubbish. But this time was different. She was alone again, but with an innocent, precious baby to consider. One she was determined would have a stable, secure life.
“The biological father has no interest in parenthood, I’m afraid. He left me, and the baby I’m carrying.”
Johanna rose and took her cup to the sink. Turning back, she said softly, “What do you ultimately want, Alexis?”
A home. Again the answer came unbidden, and it wasn’t one she cared to share. This was only a temporary home and she had to remember that. What Connor had proposed would make it possible for her to build her own home, a safe, welcoming place for her child. A child who would always feel wanted and loved and a first priority. All the things her parents had tried to provide but somehow she’d missed.
“I want a good life for my baby. I want to make a home for us. I just want a place for my baby to feel loved and safe.”
Johanna walked over to the table and placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “That’s a damned good answer.”
Alex couldn’t keep up with the changes from friend to foe to friend again, and somehow knew she was failing this test miserably.
Johanna’s hand was warm on her shoulder, and Alex hadn’t known how much she’d missed simple human contact. Something about Johanna’s hand, firm and sure, sent feelings rushing up in Alex, and she struggled to hold them rippling beneath the surface. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d even been hugged. The older woman could never understand what a simple touch could do…
“Thank you,” she whispered, sweeping a few crumbs into her palm to try to escape the moment.
“How long has it been?”
Alex straightened. “Since what?”
“Oh, my dear, it’s obvious,” Johanna murmured, nothing but kindness softening her face. “Since someone loved you.”
The tears came so quickly, so completely unexpectedly, that Alex was powerless to stop them. Johanna came forward and tucked Alex into her embrace, and she cried into the older woman’s shoulder. Cried for the second time that week, when it had been years since she’d shed tears. Not once in the time she’d been alone had anyone acknowledged that she hadn’t been loved. Had anyone cared that she might be lonely and afraid. But she was. She was terrified of failing. Of not being enough for her child. She was frightened, quite simply, of the unknown future.
Her breath came in halting gasps, and she desperately tried to even them out as she tasted the salt of her own tears. She had to get herself together.
Connor stepped through the front door, halting abruptly at the sight of his grandmother holding a sobbing Alex in her arms. His throat constricted at the picture they made. So much for maintaining distance. Because the sight of his fiancée and his grandmother together did something to his heart he knew he’d never get back.
* * *
CONNOR STEERED THE tractor to the edge of the field and left it. Tomorrow he’d be back to continue on. Now he’d drive back to the house in the truck.
The noon meal had been tense. He’d rushed the meeting, anxious to get back early so he might arrive before Gram. But he’d been too late. When he’d entered, Alex had turned to the small bathroom off the kitchen, embarrassed, to wash her tear-streaked face and regain control. When she’d returned she had pasted on a smile and apologized that she didn’t have his lunch ready. He hadn’t cared less about lunch. What he’d really wanted to know was what his grandmother had done to provoke such an emotional response. He remembered Alex protesting before that she hated crying. But she’d been in the middle of a full-blown jag when he’d come in.
It was obvious his grandmother approved of Alex, no matter how unorthodox their situation.
Connor started up the pickup and shoved it into gear, a line appearing between his brows. Seeing them together that way…it had been right somehow.
“She’s already had enough hurt in her life, that girl,” Gram had warned under her breath, while Alex had been in the next room, repairing the damage to her face.
He had no plans of hurting Alex further at all. In fact, the more he saw of her, the more he knew he had to protect her. They had made a deal that benefited them both, but ultimately they were from two very different worlds. Now it was up to him to uphold his end.
He would be her friend, but there was no room for anything more. Not if he were to be fair.
As he’d left the house, Gram had said something else. “Be very careful, dear,” she’d said, a hand on his arm. “I’ve never seen a creature more hungry for love and affection than that child.”
Pulling up into the yard, he noticed Gram’s car was gone. Perhaps she’d gone back to Calgary and her own apartment? Connor’s stomach fluttered nervously at the thought of being alone with Alex. “Stupid fool,” he chided himself as he hesitated at his own front door. If they were to be friends only, there should be nothing to be nervous about.
Alex was coming through the living room with a basket of laundry in her arms as he entered. Both stopped in surprise.
“Gram went home?”
Alex laughed, putting down the basket. “Hardly. She’s put her bag in the third bedroom and dug in for the duration.”
“Oh.” Connor’s voice registered disappointment and he put on an optimistic smile. “She’ll be a great help to you.”
“Oh, yes,” Alex replied, a happy smile on her face. “I was terribly worried about meeting her. And we did have a few uncomfortable moments. But once she knew about the baby…”
“She knows?” He stepped forward, surprise lighting his face. All Gram had said at lunch was not to hurt Alex; she’d mentioned nothing about knowing about the pregnancy. Now here was Alex, carefree and happy. He hadn’t seen that particular look on her face before, but he recognized it now. It was devoid of strain and worry. She looked like a woman who’d been given a free pass. Connor hadn’t thought it possible, but it made her even more beautiful.
“Yes,” she chirped. “I must have answered her questions satisfactorily. She’s already making wedding plans.”
Connor’s head spun. The words don’t hurt her and hungry for love echoed through his brain. He’d expected stiff resistance once she knew about the baby. Instead Gram had moved in?
“Is it too soon?”
“What?” he came out of his stupor and shook his head. “Oh. No, of course not, I’m surprised, that’s all.”
“I was too. We had a big talk this afternoon, though, Connor. Your grandmother is an amazing woman. She said she understood I didn’t know much about cooking, and when I told her I’d never gardened she said I could use a helping hand. That she’d missed it, living in her condo the way she does.”
“She did?”
“Uh-huh. And she said she’d help plan the wedding too.”
This was getting out of hand. Weddings and gardens and babies…Connor’s very logical, sensible plan was suddenly spiraling out of control. And all under the hawk-like eye of his grandmother. He agreed that she was wonderful. He also knew she was shrewd. This was her way of keeping a finger in the pie. He knew it and resented it. But he couldn’t send Johanna back to Calgary. Alex was already looking forward to the help. And he was so busy with the ranch he didn’t have time to spend with her except in the evenings. It wasn’t fair for him to expect her to while away her days all alone. If having Johanna here made her happy, he’d keep quiet. And he’d keep his eyes wide open. Helping was one thing.