my grandma used to say.”
“She lost that. I don’t know why, but after we got married, she changed.”
“Maybe she loved you so much, she was afraid of losing you. Maybe she was worried that once you were married, you would get bored with her.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“When she met you, she seemed truly happy for the first time in her life. She was never happy at home. She never came out and said it, but we knew she was ashamed of where she came from. You’ll never know how much that hurt my parents.”
He surprised her by turning his hand and threading his fingers through hers. “I tried to get Becca to visit more. I told her I would make time. I had no family, so I knew how important it was. She just…” He shrugged helplessly.
That should have hurt, but mostly Katy just felt disappointed. Especially since Becca had led them to believe that it was Adam who never had time for them.
“It was like that with the fertility treatments, too,” he said. “They found the cancer, and wanted to do the surgery and start treatment immediately. She flat-out refused. She wanted to harvest her eggs. I begged her to reconsider, but she knew it was our last chance to have a child that was biologically ours. There was no reasoning with her. The doctors warned her that she had a particularly aggressive strain, but she wouldn’t budge.”
Becca had always led Katy and her parents to believe that Adam had been the one to make that decision, that he insisted they wait and harvest the eggs first, and they had believed her. Had it all been a lie, to shelter herself from her parents’ disapproval?
Why did she portray him to be so unreasonable and demanding?
“You want to hear the really ironic part of all this?” Adam said. “I don’t think she really even wanted kids.”
It was true Becca had never been much of a kid person. Katy had been a little surprised when she mentioned they were trying to get pregnant. But when it didn’t happen right away she’d been devastated. Because when Becca wanted something, she didn’t like to wait. After that, it was as if she was obsessed. “For a year that’s all she talked about,” she told Adam.
“Because she knew it was what I wanted.”
“Why wouldn’t she want kids?”
“I think…I think she was afraid that if we had a child, I might love it more than her. She wanted to be the center of my universe, and I think she believed that the baby would replace her.”
Was she really that insecure? She was smart and beautiful and talented with a husband who loved her. Why couldn’t she just be happy? Why did she have to make everything so complicated?
“I loved Becca,” Adam said, “but I don’t think I ever completely understood her. But that wasn’t her fault. I should have tried harder, made more of an effort. I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.”
It occurred to her suddenly that she and Adam were talking. Having an honest conversation. And she hadn’t even been trying. It just…happened.
She and Adam were from totally different worlds. So why, at that very moment, did he feel like an equal? Not a billionaire oil man, but just a man.
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