“Maybe Julie wasn’t the right one for you.”
“Maybe I should quit trying to be something I’m not.”
She looked up at him. The porch light illuminated her pale skin and the concern in her eyes. She was as slender and fragile as a porcelain figurine, and just as beautiful. He’d held her close, even kissed her once. And felt nothing. Damn. Why did Elizabeth Abbott have to be the one to make him crazy? It would have been easier to try again with Rebecca. He told himself it was because they were friends, but he knew better. It would have been easier with Rebecca because with her he didn’t have as much to lose.
“You don’t have to be like them,” she said, snuggling closer. There was a slight chill in the air. He welcomed the decrease in temperature. Maybe it would cool his desire. “You’re your own person. Blaze a new path. Start a new tradition in the Haynes dynasty.”
“If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it’s probably a duck. No point in trying to be something else.”
She grinned. “What are you saying?”
He chuckled. “That I’m a duck.”
“Well, go ahead and be one if it makes you happy.”
The ”trouble was it didn’t make him one bit happy. He wanted more. That was the hell of it. He couldn’t be like his father, going from woman to woman. None of his brothers were. They all wanted to make a relationship work and settle down with one woman. Like them, he wanted to get married, have a herd of children and wake up in the same bed for the next fifty years. What right did he have to try for something that was doomed to failure?
“But maybe Julie wasn’t the one for you.”
“She was the perfect wife. A guy couldn’t ask for more.”
“Maybe you didn’t love her.”
Interesting thought. He was beginning to think he didn’t know what love was.
“Travis!”
He stood up when he heard Elizabeth call his name. “Be right back.”
Rebecca rose and stretched. “I’ll come with you. I want to say good-night to Elizabeth and then leave. I have a lot of work tomorrow.”
She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. He waited, hoping for some reaction. Some hint of desire. Nothing. Not even the tiniest spark. She could have been his sister.
“Hang in there,” she said.
“I will.” He opened the front door for her to go in first.
Elizabeth watched Rebecca and Travis enter the hallway. They looked good together. Both tall and attractive. Rebecca said something, and Travis laughed. How easily they spent time together. Elizabeth fought down a feeling of envy. After the first year it had never been easy with Sam. He’d been charming, of course, but he’d never let her inside and never shared his feelings. Now, of course, she knew why. But then she’d always wondered what was wrong with her. Why wasn’t she enough to keep her man happy?
Travis looked up at her.
“Mandy wants to say good-night to you,” she said.
“Sure.” He climbed the stairs two at a time and went into Mandy’s room. Rebecca followed more slowly.
Elizabeth wanted to ask what they’d been talking about outside. She’d heard the creak of the swing. It had been an intimate sound. Elizabeth told herself she wasn’t jealous. Why should she be? She wasn’t interested in Travis. At least not romantically. She resisted the impulse to touch her nose to see if it was growing.
Tonight she was going to have to have a long talk with herself. She couldn’t afford to get involved with anyone, and certainly not him. He would sweep her up in passion, muddle her thinking, pleasure her body and then leave her for the next one on the list. Which almost made it easier. If Travis wasn’t such a flirt, she would have a more difficult decision. She would have to face trusting her judgment about a man. She shook her head. Never again. She was done making those kinds of mistakes.
Rebecca reached the landing. “I’m glad we got to spend some time together.”
“Thanks for bringing me the work. I’ll get started on it in the morning.”
“Oh, please take your time.” Rebecca frowned. “I don’t want to be responsible for you not getting better. You don’t have to do any of it if you don’t feel up to it. Her frown turned into a smile. “Heaven knows the paperwork has waited for months now. A couple more weeks isn’t going to matter.”
“I’m desperate for something to do during the day. Between Louise and Travis, I barely have to move around at all. I’m looking forward to getting back to work.”
“Your desk is waiting for you. Rebecca nodded toward Mandy’s room. “Now you take care of yourself and that hunk in there. He needs some looking after.”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “After all the stories I’ve heard, looking after is the one thing he doesn’t need more of.”
Rebecca sobered. “Maybe I shouldn’t have passed on all those stories about Travis. He really is a nice man. Don’t judge him too harshly.”
“I don’t judge him at all. He’s been great to me and Mandy, but he’s not my type.”
“Too bad. He’s not mine, either.” Rebecca stared off in the distance for a moment. “There must be someone brave enough to take on this particular Haynes boy. I haven’t known Travis for all that long, but I know him well enough to know it would be worth the trouble.” She touched Elizabeth’s forearm briefly. “Get better, but don’t push yourself. The piles of paper aren’t going anywhere. Good night.”
She started down the stairs. Elizabeth moved to follow her but Rebecca stopped her with a raised hand.
“I’ll find my own way out. You’d just have to climb the stairs again to tuck in your daughter. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“By.”
Elizabeth watched as her boss left. When the front door closed, she stared at it for several minutes. Rebecca was great. She was looking forward to working for her. It would be nice to have some new friends in her life. Except—
She shook her head and turned toward Mandy’s room. Except for the secrets she had to keep. They made it hard to open up. There was always a barrier between herself and anyone she wanted in her life. She knew she should put it behind her, but she couldn’t. What would Louise and Rebecca think if they knew the truth? Worse, what would Travis think? She didn’t want to even imagine that moment. He would know what a fool she’d been. He would blame her, as she blamed herself, for not figuring it out, for not getting the clues. There must have been hundreds.
Stop thinking about it, she told herself. But it was hard to forget what was keeping her from the life she really wanted. Tonight’s dinner had reminded her how much she liked having people in her life. Being with everyone had taunted her with the vision of what she’d once imagined her life with Sam to be like. She’d thought they would be a family together; she’d been wrong.
Brushing aside the unpleasant thoughts, she moved toward Mandy’s room. As she entered the room she saw Travis sitting on the edge of the bed holding Mandy in his arms. They both had their backs to her.
“Sometimes I miss my daddy,” Mandy said.
“I know, honey,” Travis answered.
Elizabeth felt as if someone had stabbed her in the heart. Mandy had adjusted so well to all the changes that sometimes she allowed herself to forget how this must be upsetting her daughter. Of course she missed her father.
She wanted to go to Mandy and comfort her, but Travis seemed to be doing a fine job. Besides, it was her fault the girl didn’t have a father anymore. She’d been the one to demand Sam sign custody of