are so many different emotions inside me right now that I can’t distinguish one from the other. I can’t understand why God did this. He knows how I feel about Caleb. Why couldn’t he have ridden a different direction? Why here? Why me? Haven’t I had enough trouble for one lifetime?”
She sounded like a petulant child, she knew, but didn’t she have a right to complain? In eighteen months’ time, she’d not only lost the love of her life but her dear, beloved parents. As scary as it was to admit, she was angry at God.
“I wish I had answers for you.” Meredith pressed in close to her side. “If we could transport him to our house, you wouldn’t have to deal with him.”
Rebecca shook her head. “You haven’t seen him, Mer.” She sighed. “He’s bad off.”
When they reached the barn, Meredith held back, brown hair swirling about the shoulders of her cape. “I hate to burden you further, but have you considered what might happen when folks learn of his presence here?”
Confused by her friend’s grave expression, she frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You’re an unmarried woman. Caleb’s an unmarried man. The two of you have occupied the same cabin for two whole days and two very long nights without the benefit of a chaperone.”
“He’s hardly in any position to damage my reputation! He’s gravely ill,” she stated with a growing sense of alarm. Withdrawing her arm, she pressed her gloves against her cheeks stiff with cold. “Besides, we haven’t been alone.”
“I’m not certain Amy counts as a suitable chaperone. Logic doesn’t always play into these situations. Remember what happened to Cole and Rachel Prescott? They were locked in the storage room overnight and forced to marry, no matter that it was a cruel prank and not even remotely their fault.”
Appalled at the mere idea of being linked to Caleb in that way, she set her jaw. “Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, could induce me to marry that man.”
Despite her conviction, a frisson of unease worked its way down her spine. Meredith wasn’t exaggerating. Folks were funny about maintaining appearances at all costs. If there was even the suspicion that something improper had occurred—whether it had or no—marriage was the only way to restore the couple’s reputation.
Understanding warred with caution in Meredith’s heavily fringed green eyes. “I hope it doesn’t come to that.”
“It won’t. I’ve given the man shelter and done my best to keep him alive, that’s all. End of story.”
“You don’t have to convince me.” She held up her hands, the vivid red wool reminding Rebecca of Caleb’s blood pooled in the snow. She bit down hard on her lip as worry swirled afresh in her chest.
“Have you heard from Adam?”
Last night’s conversation—and the terrible vulnerability in Caleb’s eyes—replaying in her mind, it took her a moment to register the question. Meredith was referring, of course, to the numerous letters she’d sent her former fiancé and the fact he hadn’t answered even one.
Shaking her head, she allowed her gaze to roam the white-washed forest beyond the barn, where mighty pines wore skirts of shimmering powder and blue jays’ wings flashed brilliantly against the white backdrop. Along with cardinals, blue jays were one of her favorite birds. Tough to get that exact shade of blue on canvas, however. For the painting hanging above her parents’ bed, she’d had to experiment to get the right shade. Her mother had adored that painting.
A renewed wave of grief gripping her, she sighed. “I haven’t written him in four months. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to hear from me. Don’t know why it took me so long to accept that.”
“What you two had was special. Makes sense you wouldn’t want to give that up.”
“Adam clearly didn’t have a problem,” she muttered, shivering as another gust of wind slammed into them.
“Well, I for one think it’s time you turned your attention to someone else. I’ve noticed Douglas casting moon eyes at you during church. He’d ask to call on you in a heartbeat if you’d encourage him a little.”
“We’ve had this conversation before. I’m not ready.” Tired of dwelling on her sorry state of affairs, she turned the tables on her best friend. “How about we discuss your love life, hmm? Are you ready to tell me who it is you’re sweet on?”
Color bloomed in the brunette’s cheeks, yet she shrugged as if it was no big deal. While Meredith was more than willing to discuss Rebecca’s private affairs, she wasn’t as forthcoming with her own.
“There’s no chance he’ll ever notice me, so why put a name to him?” Her petite nose wrinkled. “Besides, isn’t it more interesting to try and guess his identity?”
“No, it isn’t. It’s frustrating. And hardly fair given everything I’ve revealed to you.”
Meredith was on the verge of relenting when Mr. Harper appeared on the porch and lifted a hand to get their attention.
At the sight of the deep grooves bracketing his mouth, all thoughts of Meredith’s crush fled. Did he have bad news? Perhaps he’d seen something she’d missed, some sign of impending death she was unaware of. By the time he reached them, she’d become numb to the cold, oblivious to the thin, cottonlike clouds stretched across the sky.
“Poor lad is suffering from an infection.” He scratched beneath his heavy wool cap and sighed. “Wish I could take him off your hands, but I doubt he’d survive the trip. And Teresa’s ill. I wouldn’t want to expose him to whatever she has. We have medicine that can help bring the fever down, as well as some herbs and such for a poultice to put on the wound.” He hesitated, which was unusual. “Would you like for Meredith to come and stay with you? Even at this late date, her presence might ward off some of the gossip that’s sure to erupt once your situation becomes known.”
“There’s no place for her to sleep. And besides, I know she’s doing the cooking and cleaning while Teresa is sick.” She met Meredith’s worried gaze. “I can’t ask you to stop caring for your ma simply to babysit us.”
“I could do my chores during the day and spend the nights here. We could make a pallet on the floor.”
“Absolutely not.” She took her friend’s hands in hers and braved a smile. “I appreciate the offer, really, I do. But I can handle whatever the gossips dish out. You know how these things blow over in a week or two.”
“Let’s hope you’re right.” Louis sighed. “Meredith, stay and visit with your friends while I get the supplies. I should return within the hour.”
“Yes, sir.”
The door scraped open then, and Amy’s lips parted. “Mr. Harper. Meredith.” Her gaze bounced between the cabin and Rebecca. “Is everything okay?”
“Mr. Harper is going to fetch medicine for Caleb.”
“Is he gonna make it?” She directed her question at their father’s friend.
“That’s in the good Lord’s hands, Amy. We’ll be praying for him.” His frown didn’t budge. “I’d best be off.”
No one spoke as he made his way to the sleigh. Rebecca belatedly noticed the pail in her sister’s hands. “You milked Flossy for me?”
“She was getting antsy.” She blew out a breath. “I also fed and watered the horses and mucked out the stables.”
“I think that deserves a special thank-you.”
Wispy brows winged up. “Hot cocoa?”
Rebecca smiled and nodded. There was enough in the tin for one more cup, two if she thinned it. An extra spoonful of sugar would make up for the lack. Hopefully, the hens she’d delivered to Clawson’s three days ago had sold and she’d