satchel with which she had escaped.
She studied the gowns in the armoire. All of them were black, of course, but at least the styles were different.
“Perhaps the one with the pagoda sleeves.” She shook her head. “No, I think the silk and crepe with the bodice that buttons up the front would be less formal.”
The girl laid the gown out on the bed, walked over and tightened Elizabeth’s stays, which had been loosened while she rested after lunch. Gilda helped her into the several layers of black petticoats that held out her full skirts, then helped her fasten the black silk buttons on the front of the gown.
Elizabeth turned toward the mirror. She wasn’t as pale as she had been when she had arrived, but it didn’t really matter. She hated the way she looked in black.
One more bad mark against Edmund for dying and forcing her into mourning.
One good mark that he was finally gone from her life.
She sat down in front of the dresser and Gilda worked to smooth her heavy curls into a tight chignon at the nape of her neck. Satisfied she looked proper enough to face Reese’s aunt, she rose and started for the door.
“Thank you, Gilda. I shall not need you until an hour or so before supper.” At which time, she would put on a different black shroud, one that at least allowed a portion of her bosom to show and displayed a bit of femininity.
She tried not to wonder if Reese would look at her as he had last night after supper. She could still feel the heat of his gaze as it settled on the hint of cleavage between her full breasts. She had never been slender, not even as a girl, but after birthing Jared, her bosom was fuller, her hips more curvy. Reese seemed not to mind.
The thought made her skin feel moist and a trickle of warmth slid into her stomach. She had to stop thinking of him, she told herself as she made her way down the staircase, had to stop thinking what it might be like to let him kiss her again, hold her in his arms.
Instead, she focused on her meeting with the dowager countess. Her greatest concern was her son. She had to find a way to protect him.
Elizabeth crossed the brick terrace and descended the few steps into the garden, which was heavily overgrown. The entire house needed a good thorough cleaning and overall polish. But Reese was a bachelor, and caring for the charming old manor house was a task only a woman could see fully accomplished.
For the next ten minutes, she wandered the gravel pathways, her slippers crunching on a colorful array of fallen leaves. Another set of footsteps sounded on the path behind her, slower, more hesitant, and she knew the dowager countess had arrived.
Elizabeth turned to see the old woman in a gown of apricot silk warmed by a light, matching pelisse moving slowly along the path, leaning heavily on her cane. Without thinking she hurried to help her.
“Why don’t we sit right here?” she suggested, easing the old woman down on a wrought iron bench.
“Thank you,” Lady Tavistock said stiffly.
“I appreciate your seeing me.” Elizabeth took a seat on the opposite end of the bench. The air was crisp and cool but not cold, the wind not more than a whisper.
“It would seem we have a good deal to discuss.”
“Yes …”
“I rarely make mistakes in judgment, you know. And yet I made one with you. I knew my nephew was in love with you. There was a time I believed you were deeply in love with him. I was wrong. If you had loved him, you never would have hurt him the way you did.”
Elizabeth’s heart clenched. How could she possibly explain? “I understand the way you feel, my lady. You think I abandoned Reese and married Aldridge for his money and title. It wasn’t so. I loved Reese. I wanted to marry him more than anything in the world.”
She stared at her lap, the sun beating down on the heavy black folds of her skirt. She looked up at the dowager countess. “Then I found out I was going to have a baby.” She swallowed against the memory. “I was terrified. When my father found out, he was beyond furious.”
“I remember your father had a temper. I never thought he would hurt you.”
“Oh, no, I didn’t mean that. He never struck me. He simply … my father ruled me. Mother was dead. I did whatever my father commanded. I can’t remember a time I ever disobeyed his wishes.”
“Is that why you didn’t tell Reese about the child?”
Even now the memory was painful. “Father forbade me to have any further contact with Reese. He said he had dishonored me and he was never to come near me again. I wasn’t as strong as I am now. I wasn’t able to fight him. I did what he told me to do.”
The older woman looked at her askance. “And Aldridge’s charm played no part in your decision.”
“Not his charm, no. Perhaps the safety he offered in giving my unborn child his name. He was older, more settled, and he was there, not off somewhere adventuring. The decision itself was never truly mine. I married Aldridge, as my father insisted. And I regretted it every day of my life.”
The countess leaned back against the iron bench. Beneath her shrewd regard, Elizabeth fought not to squirm.
“My nephew says you came here because you feared for yourself and your child, but perhaps you had a different motive.”
“What do you mean?”
“Perhaps you came here to resume your relationship with Reese. Do you intend to lure my nephew back into your clutches?”
“No! I came here because I was desperate. I knew my son was in danger. My family is all gone. Reese was the only person I could trust.”
“Because he is Jared’s father?”
“Because he is a man of honor and strength and I believed he would not turn us away.”
The countess seemed to weigh Elizabeth’s words. “When will you tell him?”
Elizabeth stared off into the distance. She had no idea how to tell Reese a secret so profound. A secret that would turn his dislike of her to hate.
“I need time. I don’t know what he’ll do. I don’t know what will happen to my son once Reese knows the truth.” Tears collected in her eyes. “Jared is already so withdrawn. He is too young yet to understand his true parentage. I’m afraid if the information is handled wrong, it could destroy him completely.”
The dowager said nothing for the longest time. “The boy’s well-being is the most important concern. This wasn’t my business until you came here. Now it is. I’ll give you the time you need. I’ll give you a chance to figure out the best way to handle the matter, but I won’t let you deceive Reese forever.”
Her stomach tightened. She couldn’t imagine the enmity Reese would feel once she told him the truth.
A lump rose in Elizabeth’s throat. “In my heart I knew when I saw them together that sooner or later I would have to tell him. I give you my word that I will. Until then, you have my heartfelt gratitude for giving me the time I need to try to make this right.”
The old woman rose shakily from the bench. “As I said, for now, you may do as you wish. But I warn you, do not test my patience too long.” Leaning heavily on her cane, Lady Tavistock made her way along the gravel path, up the brick steps and across the terrace. She disappeared inside the house and Elizabeth sank back down on the bench.
For now she had the old woman’s cooperation. But dear God, how long would it last?
And how could she explain to a little boy that she had lied to him about the man who was his father?
Eight
Wearing only a white lawn shirt and a pair of riding breeches, Reese sat on a wooden bench in the stable,