relaxed and he rubbed them both, trying to comfort her. “Is that why your aunt is here?” He spoke quietly, his face inches from the back of her head. He almost couldn’t stand the sweet smell of her hair. How many times did he dream about this closeness to her? He loved her so much that holding back hurt.
“Aye. Nay.” Sheena shook her head as if confused. “After my brother’s death not even our livelihood mattered to my father anymore. It’s progressed to the point now where we only have enough to run our household to the end of this month. We have no money left, Logan. My father just kept sinking deeper and deeper into his own world and we lost everything, along with him.”
Sheena turned back to Logan, hugging herself snug in her dark blue woolen shawl against the encroaching mist. Logan let his hands drop to his sides. “This past autumn he fell ill and we tried everything to make him better. We even bought him spa water to drink from Bath in England, but it didn’t help him. He died.”
Logan couldn’t believe that Arthur Montgomery had died. When Logan left five years ago, Arthur ran the Montgomery household as efficiently and astutely as any great man. By now his age would accumulate to fifty years—surely everyone had expected him to enjoy many more good years.
And yet, Arthur’s death had other repercussions, as well. Only he and Logan knew about what they’d discussed at that meeting when Logan had asked to marry Sheena. And only they knew about the Montgomery’s heirloom box that housed the secret letter Arthur had given Logan, promising that Logan could marry Sheena if he returned to Scotland after his indenturement in the Americas.
What would become of Arthur’s promise to Logan if he was no longer alive to enforce it?
Maybe it didn’t matter anymore. Logan loved Sheena and as soon as she forgave him, perhaps they could go back to the way things stood between them before he left. Maybe Logan could convince Sheena’s mother that he would take good care of her. Logan had by now amassed enough money to satisfy Tavia’s wishes for her daughter to live a good life. He just needed Sheena to love him again.
“I’m sorry, lassie. And I’m sorry you had to witness the McDougalls’ grief today. It must have brought back many of those painful memories. If I had known, I would have spared you that experience.”
Logan knew that pain. Having lost both of his parents at a young age, he was aware that nothing ever filled that void again. Try as they might, Angus and Nessia never could.
“Today did bring it all back, Logan, but I can’t hide from death. It’s a part of life and, besides, the McDougalls needed us to comfort them.”
“Your comforting words meant everything to me today, too.”
Sheena gave Logan a little smile. “I’m glad.”
Her opening up to him eased the pain in his chest, giving him some hope for their future. “I hope your father, brother and Gordon are at peace in God’s home.”
Again, Sheena wiped a tear from her cheek. “Thank you. I pray for that every day.”
Logan hated seeing her unhappy. “I’ll pray, too. Just as I pray you forgive me for coming back two years later than I planned.”
Sheena’s expression changed. “Logan …” She said his name with the sparkle he remembered seeing in her amber eyes before he’d left Scotland five years ago. In that moment, he knew he had a chance. She couldn’t hide that spark. He took hold of her shoulders and leaned in even closer to talk with her.
Tenderly, he whispered his words to her, “I wish I could have been here to comfort you through your brother’s death and your father’s illness. But I had to stay on in the Americas.”
Sheena interrupted him before he could tell her about his plans to take everyone to the Americas. “You wouldn’t have been able to change anything anyway.” Sheena tilted her head down toward the soggy ground. Her head almost touched his chest. It wouldn’t take any effort to deepen their embrace. And his muscles flexed as he fought the urge to do so.
“Maybe not, but I could have made it easier for you to live during the difficult times.” Logan reached out and gently pushed up her chin to level her eyes with his. “I’ve always been poor. I know how to make do. I could have shown you,” he said, smiling.
She opened her lips to say something, but then closed them. He felt her sweet breath against his face and fancied smelling her delicate scent. He wanted nothing more than to comfort her and be her protector.
“I could show you which weeds won’t kill you.” He made fun of himself, knowing just how many times his family did eat weeds at mealtime. But Sheena turned her head away from his hand.
“My mother is not about to admit that she’s poor, let alone live like the poor.” Sheena drew in a long breath as if she wanted to apologize for Tavia.
But her words didn’t shock Logan. They didn’t even hurt him. He knew very well what Tavia thought. Some things never changed and Tavia’s dislike of the poor would always be one of them. Indeed he knew Tavia’s hatred so well that five years ago, his only option in ever marrying Sheena included selling himself as an indentured servant.
The scariest and most humiliating thing Logan ever did, and hopefully would ever do in his life, involved letting someone buy him. But he did it. And he would do it again, because he now possessed the means to offer Sheena a decent life as his wife. He just needed her forgiveness.
“Logan, just after my father died, when we still looked like we were wealthy …” She looked up into Logan’s face, her amber eyes filled with worry. No sparks now. In their place Logan saw a look of pity. What had caused such a quick change in her demeanor? “… my mother spent the last of our money on my dowry and betrothed me.”
The news hit Logan with the force of a fist. And all too soon, rage ran through his blood. “You’re betrothed?” he shouted. “To whom?”
“Logan, your voice.” Sheena grabbed his hand and pulled him down toward the ground.
“You can’t be betrothed to someone else.” Logan took hold of her arms.
“It’s true,” Sheena whispered softly, and Logan just stared at her. He couldn’t understand what she’d just told him. Did she mean to hurt him, out of revenge or simply to break his heart for good?
Her insistence that he quiet down came too late. A light shone out from one of the rooms upstairs. Someone had woken up.
“You must go. Now. No one can find you here. Not out here at this hour.” Sheena pried his fingers from her arms, talking as if seized by anxiety. “Go, Logan. Please.” She sprang away from him, jogging toward Cait.
Logan tried to reach for her again, but didn’t catch her in time. Impulsively, he thought about chasing her and carrying her away. She couldn’t love another man. She couldn’t want this betrothal.
God, why did this happen? It couldn’t truly be Your plan to let me live through two sea voyages and five long, hard years of labor, just to lead me to the knowledge I gained tonight.
The light from many more candles began to shine through the windows on the main floor, interrupting Logan’s thoughts as he realized people from within the household were approaching. He ducked farther behind the rocks. He didn’t think he could remain still. His insides beat hard against his skin, trying to burst out. Life as he knew it had ended. And he couldn’t do anything about it.
Chapter Five
Sheena just reached Cait’s side when the door of her family’s home flew open. She grabbed Cait’s hand quickly to reassure her. But Cait’s hand shook and Sheena knew the chilly damp night air didn’t cause her trembling. Sheena felt her insides churn with guilt; she hated putting Cait in such a predicament.
She thought of pulling Cait to hide, but Tavia and Jean would send servants to look for the source of the noise. Someone would find them. And then, what if they discovered Logan, as well? That would make the situation