wanted.” The lack of understanding in their eyes caused Daisy to move straight to the point.
“I’m going to marry Mr. Barlow.”
“Why, Momma?” There was a chorus of disbelief. “You can’t! You’re already married to Papa. You can’t marry somebody else!”
Tears formed in her eyes, to be quickly blinked away. Daisy swallowed and reached out to the twins, inviting them into her embrace. They scrambled to her, and she wrapped them in her arms. “I know you don’t understand. I did marry your papa. He and I loved each other very much.” She pulled back and cupped one chin in each hand so James and John would see directly into her eyes. “I will always love your papa—just like you will. It hurts me as much as it hurts the two of you that he isn’t here anymore. We know he’s with Jesus.”
Small tear-stained faces waited for her to continue. “Papa worked hard for this land. He wouldn’t want us to lose everything because he isn’t here anymore. That could happen if I don’t marry again. It doesn’t mean I don’t love your papa. It means I love him so much that I want to make sure his dreams come true for you boys.”
James spoke. As the firstborn he usually took the lead, and John rarely objected. “How could we lose our house, Momma?” Clearly the eight-year-old didn’t understand.
“The government controls who gets to keep a house. Ladies have problems owning land that men don’t have. It’s complicated, so you’re going to have to trust that Papa Warren knows best.”
“Are you sure, Momma?” John’s concern reflected in his small face. “Can’t we keep it? It’s ours now.”
Daisy drew the boys back into a hug and kissed both blond heads. “I wish we could, but because of the laws of the state of Texas, this is the best way. I promise.” Again she felt the press of helplessness that had threatened to overwhelm her since Murdock had been killed. It went against her stubborn nature to need someone else to rescue her.
“Mr. Barlow is a good man,” she assured. “I’ve known him for many years. He’s a godly man, like your papa. He’ll take good care of us. He’ll teach you things I can’t. Like how to plow a field or take care of a broken wagon wheel. There’s so much you’ll need to know that only a man can teach you.”
James and John leaned back and looked at her. “Are you sure, Momma?” James asked.
“I’m sure, son.” Daisy smiled at them. “And you’ll grow to love him, too. He’s a respectable man.”
The twins looked at each other in resignation and dropped their heads. Her amazement at their matching mannerisms never dimmed. “Okay, Momma. But it’s gonna take a bit for us to get used to having another man around here.” John paused. “We just got used to being the only men. Now we’ve got to train another one. He can show us how to fix wagon wheels and plow, but we’ll teach him how to take care of the farm like Papa did.”
Laughing, she released them and tussled each head with one hand. “Now I’m going to get ready for our trip to town. I need you boys to get washed up and put on your Sunday best.” She rose from the chair and smoothed her skirt. “I certainly can’t get married looking like this.” She shooed them both outside to the well.
The twins brought water in and then dressed in their room. Satisfied with their appearance, she sent them to wait on the porch.
Daisy freshened up using the washbasin and mirror behind the screen in the corner of the cabin. Murdock had given her the screen as a gift, wanting her to have some privacy in the cabin full of males. She stood back to stare at her reflection. The lost weight from the pain and stress of the past three weeks did nothing to improve her appearance. Dark brown eyes looked hollow and bruised in her slightly freckled face. The gentle wave of her blond hair pulled tendrils loose from the pins she’d pushed in this morning before attempting to do the chores of two people. The weeks without him had worn her down more than she’d realized.
Daisy knew marrying Tucker would be the easiest solution to her problems, but she wondered if she could muster the strength to go through with the wedding. She still ached for Murdock.
Tucker was a good man and a good friend. Could she be patient while he adjusted to marriage? He’d never answered to anyone except a boss. Would he be willing to work alongside her? Or would his natural tendency to take charge make her more defensive of her boys and the farm?
Lord, I’m trusting You and Papa now. I am starting to think this is Your plan for my life. Help me get it right.
Taking a deep breath, Daisy went to the chest at the foot of the bed she and Murdock had shared and lifted the lid. She pulled out her best dress and, lifting it by the shoulders, let the breeze catch it as it floated onto the bed. Smoothing the soft, sea-green cotton, she thought about the last time she’d worn it. She and Murdock had gone to the spring social at church. They had strolled by the river, arm in arm, laughing and talking, while the boys played ball with their friends in the churchyard. Murdock had bought the dress for her birthday and told her to be happy on the days she wore it.
A tear slid down her cheek as she knew in her heart he’d want her to have a happy future. She would have wanted him to move on with his life if the situation had been reversed. However, knowing she should move forward was easier than actually taking the steps to do it.
Daisy wiped her face with the back of her hand. “I will not cry in the dress bought to make me happy.” And then she put it on. Could she take the joy of her past into a future that offered contentment, but not true love?
The heaviness of Tucker’s boots sounded on the porch steps as she took a final look in the mirror. Her hand trembled as she reached up to touch the delicate white lace collar at her neck—and then she saw it. Her wedding band.
Daisy’s knees buckled, and she collapsed to sit on the side of the bed. She held her hand out to look at the ring. The plain gold band had been there so long it was like a part of her. Murdock had given it to her on their first anniversary. The scratches and worn places testified to the hard work and commitment of their relationship. Spinning it on her finger and rubbing the cool smoothness of it, she blew out a determined breath and pulled the ring from her hand. She went to the chest and found the small velvet bag the ring had come in. She kissed the ring and slid it inside. With the pull of the drawstring she tied her past into a bow and lovingly placed it in the chest before lowering the lid.
Digging deep inside for energy she wasn’t sure she had, Daisy pushed against the closed chest to stand. With her shoulders back and head held high, she straightened the ribbons of the bow that held her Sunday hat in place. Numbness froze her countenance in resignation. Her father’s letter was tucked inside her small reticule for comfort as she journeyed forward into the day’s events.
Sunlight sliced into the cabin when she opened the front door.
* * *
James and John sat on the front steps, looking into the fields. Tucker leaned against the porch railing staring at the door. He stood to his full height as Daisy joined them on the porch. Hat in hand he smiled at her.
“Miss Daisy, you look lovely.” He took a step closer to her and hesitated, turning the Stetson in his hands. “I took the liberty of hitching my horse to your wagon for the trip into town.”
With a curt nod in his direction, Daisy said, “Thank you, Tucker,” before turning to her sons. “Well, boys, let’s go. Hop up into the back of the wagon.” Daisy set the boys into motion with her no-nonsense tone. Hands in his pockets, James kicked at the dirt as he walked. John scampered ahead of his brother and vaulted into the wagon.
Daisy cautioned her eldest. “James, mind your manners and do as you’re told.”
His “Yes, ma’am” was muttered so quietly Tucker almost couldn’t hear it. Tucker walked down the steps ahead of her and turned to offer his hand as she followed. He didn’t meet her gaze. He took her small gloved hand in his calloused one and assisted her down the steps. She immediately withdrew it when her feet touched