the words, she was stunned that the no-good drifter their father had hired on that spring had gone so far.
“Yes,” Leah answered softly, “and please sit down. It’s time I tell you about that time.”
Jocelyn moved around the table, still clutching Leah’s hand in hers, not wanting to lose the connection, the closeness, the need to exchange strength. When Jocelyn returned to her seat, she braced herself against the chair, needing support. “All right, tell me everything.”
Leah lowered her head and whispered, “I doubt if I can, but I will tell you what you need to know, okay?”
At Jocelyn’s nod of understanding, Leah began talking. “You know Reese and Neil never got along. Everyone wondered why Dad even hired Neil because he was nothing but a drifter and he was always causing trouble. Well, Dad finally fired him but I didn’t know it. Late that same afternoon I went to the construction site looking for Reese. I wanted to tell him that I had decided to accept his marriage proposal and would go to a cooking school around here and wouldn’t be moving to California after all.”
A tear fell down Leah’s cheek, joining the others. “I arrived at the job site, thinking the work crew was supposed to be there, working on Alyssa Calhoun’s home. Instead I found Neil there, gathering up his stuff. I didn’t know Dad had fired him just a few hours earlier. Neil claimed Reese was downstairs in the basement, finishing up something and stupid me, I went looking for him.”
Jocelyn felt her sister’s palms getting sweaty, but she held them tighter, refusing to let them escape her grasp. “And when he got me alone in the basement, he raped me and dared me to tell Dad or Reese. He said if I did he would deny it and convince Reese I went along with it.”
“Reese would never have believed him, Leah, you know that.”
“Yes, but nothing could erase the shame I felt after being taken like an animal on that floor. I felt humiliated, disgraced and dishonored. Reese had been the only man ever to touch me and I felt dirty and unworthy of him.”
“So instead of telling anyone what happened, you left town,” Jocelyn said, knowing that was exactly what her sister had done.
“Yes. If Reese had found out the truth, he would have killed Neil, if Dad didn’t get to him first. And I couldn’t let that happen. Neither could I stand the thought of going to the police, pressing charges and facing the humiliation of Neil claiming it wasn’t rape. You remembered what happened to Connie Miller when she claimed that one of the Banks boys raped her. She became the town’s spectacle and eventually she and her family left disgraced.”
Yes, Jocelyn remembered. Everyone had known that Ronnie Banks had done it, but the Bankses had had enough money to make Ronnie the victim instead of Connie.
“But it didn’t necessarily have to turn out that way for you, Leah,” Jocelyn said, though she clearly understood why her sister would have thought otherwise. Although Neil had been a drifter with no family ties to the area, it still would have been his word against hers. And with him being the troublemaker that he’d been, and with his intense dislike of Reese, he would have loved to make it seem that Leah had practically begged for it.
It was through sheer will that Jocelyn didn’t curse the ground the man was buried under. “If he weren’t already dead I would find him and kill him.”
Leah’s trembling hands went still at the same moment she sucked in a deep breath. “Neil Grunthall is dead?” she asked in a shocked voice.
Jocelyn lifted a brow. “Yes, didn’t you know? But then there was no way that you would have since you left town that same night. He left town drunk and drove to that tavern on the outskirts of town and got even drunker. It’s my understanding that he was speeding, hit a tree and was killed instantly.”
Leah hung her head and said softly, “I never knew that. The few times I came home I could never fix my lips to say his name to ever ask about him. It took me years just trying to deal with being a rape victim before admitting I needed help. I finally went to a victim assistance program and I discovered what I felt wasn’t unusual. A rape victim feels ashamed, weak and wounded, and unless they get help they will continue to feel that way. The program I got into has helped me to come to terms with what Neil did, but I have some ways to go before fully recovering. Even to this day I haven’t been able to let another man touch me intimately.”
“Oh, Leah,” Jocelyn said, tightening her hand around Leah’s. “You shouldn’t have gone through that alone. Even if you didn’t want to confide in Reese and Dad, then what about me? You could have come to me.”
Leah shook her head. “No, I couldn’t have, Jocelyn. You were the one who always did the right thing. You would have gone straight to Dad and told him what happened and I couldn’t risk you doing that. Neil was crazy and there was no way I was going to tell Dad or Reese what he’d done.”
For a long moment neither of them said anything, and then Jocelyn quietly asked the question she needed to know. “Are you going to tell Reese?”
Leah met her sister’s intense stare and shook her head. “No. I still can’t stand the thought of Reese ever finding out what happened, Jocelyn, and I don’t want his pity. This is something I have to overcome in my own way and time. Like I told you earlier, I can’t stand the thought of a man touching me that way. I can barely tolerate the times I have to visit the doctor for my physicals. Besides, I hurt Reese in a way he would never forgive me for.”
“Yes, but if knew the truth about why you left, then he—”
“No, Jocelyn, I won’t tell him. It doesn’t matter now because I can’t ever be that way with a man again even if he did understand. So it doesn’t matter. I won’t tell him and I want you to promise me that you won’t ever tell him, either.”
Jocelyn turned her head and gazed out the window. She knew how much Leah leaving without a word had hurt Reese, so much, in fact, that he had left town for a couple of years to get over it. Once he had served time in the army he had returned, and barely ever mentioned Leah’s name. Jocelyn had been nervous as to what his reaction would be upon seeing Leah again at their father’s funeral. She had watched him, had studied his expression the exact moment Leah had walked into the church. Jocelyn had seen the pain and the hurt that was still there, that five years hadn’t fully erased.
“Jocelyn, you have to promise me.”
Jocelyn turned and met her sister’s pleading gaze. Then she remembered the reason Leah hadn’t come to her the night she’d been raped was that she’d known that no matter what, Jocelyn would have done the right thing and told her father anyway. There was no way she would have let Neil get away with hurting her sister.
And although she didn’t agree with what Leah was asking her to do, it was her sister’s decision to make, and she would do as she asked. “I promise. I won’t tell Reese, but I’m hoping that one day you will.”
There weren’t too many places to go in Newton Grove when you wanted to get away for a spell, but Jocelyn was determined to find one.
When she came to a traffic light she stopped and rubbed the bridge of her nose with her fingertips, recalling what Leah had shared with her at dinner. Each time she thought of her sister being powerless under the hands of Neil Grunthall, she literally felt sick to her stomach. And to think Leah had endured alone the humiliation of being raped.
She sighed, feeling tears sting her eyes. Now everything made sense and she felt angry with herself for not having known something hadn’t been right. Before she’d disappeared, Leah had stopped talking about leaving Newton Grove. In fact her relationship with Reese had grown that much more serious. But Leah hadn’t shared with Jocelyn her decision to marry Reese. If she had, then Jocelyn would have known for certain that something was wrong when she just up and left town.
After dinner she and Leah had tidied up the kitchen together, then, as if she’d needed to be alone, Leah had taken a shower and gone to bed early. Jocelyn had needed to go somewhere and take out her anger and frustration