be able to handle it. Honestly, she had been friends with the man for more than fifteen years, so her coping skills where he was concerned should be more refined. They were possibly even more refined than she realized. High exposure to Connor might actually help. If so, things like this morning, and that intimacy she had felt in the moment, would seem more commonplace.
So, there was a theory. And it was helping with her attempt at a snap decision.
“Thank you, Connor. I... Thank you. I really appreciate the offer. But we’re going to have to talk about logistics, because I’m not just going to stay here and sponge off you.”
“I’m not worried about that. Honestly,” he said.
“Well, I am. I don’t want to take advantage of you or our friendship.”
“You won’t,” he said, his tone carrying a note of finality. “If anyone has been taking advantage over the past few years, it’s been me. I didn’t even realize you were going through something. You didn’t tell me. That says a lot.”
“Connor,” she said, her voice quiet, “I just didn’t want to pile on.”
“That’s the thing. You sure as hell should not be thinking of sharing things with me as piling on. I’m your friend. Yeah, I’ve had my share of bullshit going on for the past couple of years, but that doesn’t mean you need to keep all this to yourself. I should’ve made that clearer.”
Liss’s chest tightened. She didn’t like putting her crap on other people. Especially not someone who was already going through so much. Regardless of what he said, it did matter. She didn’t like to be a burden to people. Least of all people she cared about. Why would anyone keep her around if she was taking more than she was giving?
“You should definitely stay here, Liss.” It was Eli’s turn to give his two cents. Apparently.
“I’m going to. Thank you.”
Jack took another piece of pizza off the tray and leaned back in his chair. “Are we going to play cards, or are we going to stand around debating living situations? Not that you asked, Connor, but I might like to come and stay here, too.”
“Why would you do that? Your house is nicer than mine.”
“Yes, but Liss is going to be in your house, buying groceries. I’m assuming she might even cook some of those groceries.”
“I never said anything about cooking,” Liss said. “And even if I were going to cook, I would not be cooking for you. I will, however, kick your ass at poker.”
Jack spread his arms wide. “Bring it on.”
Everyone jostled and started taking their spots at the table, Eli reaching out to the center of it and grabbing a deck of cards. “It’s about to be brought, Monaghan,” Liss said.
And for a moment things felt normal. Things felt sane.
Pretty soon all of that would change, but for now they were just going to play some cards.
“HEY, LISS,” CONNOR SAID, following her out the door to his house and down the steps of the porch. The poker game was done, and Jack had already gone home, while Kate was in the dining room lingering over the bowl of pizza rolls, and Eli and Sadie were just sort of happily sitting in the same chair.
Liss was ready to go, blaming an early work schedule, but they still had some things to figure out as far as Connor was concerned.
It was dark outside, cold enough that Connor could see his breath as he exhaled, the sharp bite of air in his lungs a signal that fall was fleeting and winter was biting at its ankles.
“We need to talk just a little bit before you go,” he said.
Liss paused and turned on her heel, the gravel crunching beneath her feet. “Do we need to talk tonight?” She sounded tired, and he couldn’t blame her. Had she sounded tired this morning? Had she sounded tired for longer than that? What else hadn’t he noticed?
“It’s not going to be long and involved, I promise. I just want to get a few things straight. You’re not paying me rent.”
“I’m going to have to compensate you somehow.”
“Sure you are. You will bring me food, like you already do, and I will actually give you something in return.”
“Connor, don’t be difficult about this. At least let me go over some of the paperwork for the ranch. Get things organized. And maybe the house, too. If I’m going to be living in it, then I need things at a slightly higher level of cleanliness.”
“Fine. Done.” He ignored the tightening in his stomach. All of these offers of payment sounded very...domestic. Which was fair, he supposed, since they would be sharing the same house.
“Good,” she said, nodding. “I’m glad we could come to an agreement.”
Something about the situation struck him as funny then, loosening the knot in his gut. “I feel like we should shake hands or something.”
“It does feel a little formal, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah. Better idea.” He reached out and pulled Liss into a hug, not really thinking about it until she was pressed up against him, warm, soft and very feminine. He didn’t hug people often. He didn’t hug people ever, really. Sometimes he hugged Kate, an awkward half hug. And he was more likely to punch Eli in the face than pull him into an embrace.
Very likely for those reasons the contact hit him with the force of a two-by-four. And while he was still reeling from the hit, time seemed to slow, and he became acutely aware of small things he would never normally notice. Of how soft she was, how tiny she was, folded into his arms, and—of course—the press of her breasts against his chest, because he was only human.
Connor breathed in deep, inhaling a hint of wood smoke coming from his own chimney, a bit of sea salt mixed with pine and a floral note he knew was coming from Liss’s hair. The kind of girlie shampoo that had once cluttered up his shower, but had been absent from his house and his senses.
And for some reason, in this strange slow-motion moment it seemed perfectly acceptable for him to run his palm up Liss’s back.
“Connor, you’re kind of squishing my face.”
Liss’s muffled voice broke the moment, time suddenly returning to its normal speed. He laughed, a short, harsh sound that wasn’t really intentional. But apparently, the release was necessary.
He let go of her and took a step backward. “Sorry about your face.”
“Hang on to that, Connor. That could be a really useful insult later.”
“I meant it sincerely. The squishing of your face, not the features of your face. The features of your face are fine.” He had a feeling he wasn’t making any of this better, or less weird.
“Thank you,” she said, her tone letting him know that he definitely seemed weird to her. “I’m going to go home now. If I don’t get my sleep, the numbers will not be effectively crunched tomorrow.”
“That would be a shame.”
“Not really. But I need the paycheck.”
“So when do you want to move, then?”
She kicked her foot across the top of the gravel, the rocks clacking against each other. “I don’t know. I mean, I have time...”
“Well, whatever you want. I’ll even help you move.”
Liss pulled a face. “What exactly has come over you? You’re being all helpful and things.”
“I guess it’s the realization that I haven’t been very helpful at all recently.”