‘To tell the truth, I’m not sure how I feel. I had my fair share of doubts about coming, and there were times when I told myself I would not—’
‘But come you did.’
Diana grimaced. ‘Yes, due in large part to Phoebe plaguing the life out of me until I agreed.’
Mrs Mitchell laughed. ‘Well, if it is of any consolation, there are many in society who are anxious to see you again. I ran into Mrs Townley and her daughter last week, and you should have seen the look of delight on Amanda’s face when I told her you were coming to stay with me.’
At the mention of the young lady who had once been her closest friend, Diana’s expression brightened. ‘Did she look well?’
‘Very well. In fact, Amanda has changed considerably since you last saw her. I dare say you’ll be surprised when you see her again. But I was pleased to hear her express such enthusiasm at seeing you. Has there been any resumption of your correspondence?’
Diana shook her head as she reached for the china cup. She wasn’t surprised that her aunt had asked about it. Everyone knew that she and Amanda had once been the best of friends. Amanda was one of the few who hadn’t shunned Diana when news of her rift with Lord Durling had become public. She had even written to Diana for the first few months after her return to the country—until one day the letters had stopped coming and Diana had been forced to conclude that pressures had been brought to bear.
‘I read that Amanda is recently engaged,’ Diana said, keeping her voice light. ‘Has a date been set for the wedding?’
‘Yes, and Mrs Townley did tell me what it was, though for the life of me I can’t remember. One of the hazards of growing old, I’m afraid. Still, Amanda will be able to tell you herself when you see her.’
Diana looked up. ‘I am to see her?’
‘Indeed. Mrs Townley is holding a soirée this week, and when she learned that you and Phoebe were arriving today, she told me that I must be sure to bring you both. Speaking of engagements, did I mention that Sarah Harper married over the winter?’
Diana put down her cup. ‘Not as I recall.’
Mrs Mitchell tutted. ‘Of course not, you have only just arrived. Well, she is now the wife of Mr Anthony Jones-Davis. And Lady Margaret Bellows is to be married in the fall. She has much to recommend her, of course, but I did think her eldest sister would be settled first…’
Diana listened as her aunt told her which of her friends had married and which had not, and tried not to feel envious over the good fortune of the ones who had. After all, she had no reason to be jealous. She too had received a proposal of marriage during her first Season, and would have been a married lady now if all had gone according to plan. One in charge of a large house, and servants, and all the jewels and pretty gowns she could have wished for.
A married lady, Diana reflected sadly. But one blessed with questionable happiness, if any happiness at all…
‘Diana? Did you hear what I just said?’
Diana looked up to find her aunt’s sharp eyes on her, and felt the colour rise to her cheeks. ‘Forgive me, Aunt. I was lost in my thoughts.’
‘Yes, and I’m sure I know where those thoughts were taking you,’ Mrs Mitchell said kindly. ‘But do you still think so much about what happened, my dear? It has been over four years, after all.’
‘Yes, and I truly thought I had put it behind me, but now that I’m here…’ Diana stopped, and shook her head. ‘It’s funny, you know. In some ways, I feel as though what happened took place in another lifetime. And yet, in others, it’s as though it was yesterday.’ She looked at her aunt with troubled eyes. ‘Does that make any sense?’
‘Indeed. Adversity is a funny thing, Diana. It affects people in various ways, and it always changes them in one way or another.’
‘Did it change me?’
‘Most definitely. It made you stronger.’
‘I wonder.’ Diana took a sip of her tea, savouring the hot, fragrant brew. ‘Sometimes I think I should have just accepted matters and got on with my life. After all, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Perhaps I was naïve to think there was.’
‘Do you honestly believe that?’
Diana looked into her aunt’s eyes, and knew she couldn’t lie. ‘No.’
‘Good, because I would have been very disappointed if you had said yes. Marriage is about what two people bring to it, Diana,’ Mrs Mitchell told her. ‘And though no one is perfect, we usually strive to do the best we can. I know that’s what you would have done because you had your mother and father’s example to follow.’
Diana’s smile turned wistful. ‘I miss them so much, Aunt Isabel. At times, it feels like a physical pain. And yet, at other times I’m glad they’re not here. They would have been so hurt by what happened.’
‘Yes, but not for themselves. They would have suffered for you, and for all you were made to go through. But you conducted yourself with dignity and grace, and that is always the mark of a lady.’
Diana sighed. ‘Grace and dignity are all very well, Aunt, but what good do they do when one’s reputation is so hopelessly tarnished?’
‘What good? Why, they are priceless, child! Tarnished silver can always be made to shine again, but grace and dignity, once lost, are not so easily reclaimed.’
The analogy made Diana smile. ‘I fear there are many in society who will not expect me to shine again, no matter how thoroughly I am polished.’
‘Then we are not interested in them! Life is too short to worry about the feelings of those unwilling to forgive or forget, my dear. I know. I have encountered many such people during my life, and I haven’t shed a tear at seeing them on their way. Now, why don’t you run along upstairs?’ Mrs Mitchell said. ‘You’ve had a long day, and I’m sure you will feel better for a rest. Dinner is not for another two hours so you’ve plenty of time to shake off the effects of your journey. I want to see some colour back in your cheeks.’
Diana smiled crookedly. ‘I dare say a rest before dinner would be welcome. I love Phoebe dearly, but her chatter can be wearing after a time. All right, Chaucer, it’s time to move,’ she said, giving him a gentle push.
Lifting his head, the hound gave her a doleful look, then slowly got up and padded back to his place by the fire.
Diana was almost at the door when Mrs Mitchell stopped her with a question. ‘Have you told Phoebe what happened four years ago?’
Though half-expecting the question, Diana sighed. ‘I didn’t have the heart to. She’s always been so excited about the idea of falling in love and getting married, I didn’t want to sound as though I was warning her away from it. But I have thought about how she would feel if she were to hear anything of a distressing nature.’
‘Well, we can’t deny that the possibility exists,’ Mrs Mitchell said. ‘Since you were not willing to tell anyone what really happened between you and Lord Durling, people were left to believe what he told them—that you jilted him. As such, the simple fact of your being in London now may be all that is required to start them talking again. That doesn’t mean Phoebe will be exposed to it, of course, and given that one of us will likely be with her when she does go out, we should be able to prevent her hearing anything untoward. But we cannot guarantee that something won’t slip through.’
‘Are you saying I should say something to her?’
‘I’m saying we should probably wait and see. Most people will assume that Phoebe already knows what happened, and since the true pleasure of gossip lies in the telling of it to someone who isn’t acquainted with it, they may not waste their breath. However, if it does come up, I have no doubt Phoebe will come to you for the truth. You can make up your mind then as to whether or not you wish to tell her.’