Jan Drexler

A Mother for His Children


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working the other side.

      He had taken her presence for granted, he knew that. From the time he first met her when they were children, he had thought Salome would always be with him. His partner in life, and together in their old age. But it wasn’t to be. God saw fit to let him carry on alone.

      And alone he would stay, it seemed. He had exhausted the eligible women in the district and beyond, and not one of them would agree to be his wife. He had settled for the next best thing—a housekeeper.

      And God provided Ruth. He had expected an older woman, but Ruth seemed capable and she was already making friends with the children. And at least now his family was safe from his interfering sister.

      * * *

      As the door slammed behind Levi Zook, Ruthy’s stomach turned. Ach, she had spoken before thinking again! As the father, he was the only one who had the say in how Sam was raised, not her. He certainly wouldn’t want her meddling, especially her first day here.

      The children’s laughter broke into her thoughts as Elias told a joke and Ruthy smiled along with them. Surely they would have noticed their daed’s mood when he left the house? But it didn’t seem like they thought anything unusual had happened. Perhaps Levi acted like this quite often.

      She bit her lip at the sudden thought that perhaps his mood had nothing to do with her. He had recently lost his wife, and he was probably still in mourning for her.

      That must be the problem. She must be more understanding of the poor man.

      After supper and dishes were done, the children brought books, sewing projects and knitting needles and gathered back at the table under the bright light.

      “What do you have planned for tomorrow?” Ruthy gave the dishrag a final rinse as Waneta set the last plates in the cupboard.

      “Whatever has to be done.” Waneta leaned against the counter with a sigh. “There’s always work waiting, isn’t there?”

      “Do you follow a schedule?”

      “Mam did, but I don’t know how she did it. I try to do laundry on Monday, the way she did, but then everyone runs out of clothes after only a few days, and I have to do laundry again. Then there aren’t enough dirty clothes to wash on the next Monday....” Waneta’s words faltered and she sent a pleading look at Ruthy.

      “It sounds like all you need is some organization.” Ruthy silently thanked her mother for teaching her to run an orderly home. She would certainly need all those skills now. “Let’s sit down and make a list of what needs to be done.”

      As she and Waneta planned their week, Ruthy worked to keep her rising impatience out of her voice. Levi Zook’s wife had only been gone a year, but from what Waneta told her, she had been bearing the heaviest load of the housekeeping for several years. Her father had expected entirely too much from this young girl.

      When Levi and Elias came into the back porch just as the clock was striking eight o’clock, stomping the snow off their boots on the wood floor, Ruthy rose to make her way to the Dawdi Haus.

      “We’ll start on the mending tomorrow, right after we redd up the house in the morning.”

      Waneta gave her a grateful smile. “That sounds wonderful-gut. It’s so much better to have everything planned out, isn’t it?”

      “We’ll tackle things one day at a time for now, and then on Monday we’ll put together a schedule for the week.” Ruthy patted the girl’s arm. “And don’t be in any hurry to get up in the morning. I’ll get breakfast started, and you can come down to help when the others do.”

      Waneta’s smile broke into a big grin at that, and Ruthy slipped through the door into the passageway just as the door from the porch burst open. She had intruded on this family enough for one day.

      Closing the door of her Dawdi Haus, Ruthy lit the lamp on the table in her front room. After building up the fire in the small stove, she hunted out the yarn and knitting needles she had brought with her. Keeping this family in stockings would keep her needles busy every evening.

      The rocking chair creaked in the quiet room as she cast on the stitches she needed to make the first of a pair of men’s stockings. Her mind drifted back to Lancaster County, to the home she had left behind. Mam would be knitting tonight, while Daed read aloud from The Budget. The thought brought tears to her eyes and she laid her needles down. Why had God called her to leave her home and come here? Soon Daed and Mam would be saying their evening prayer before they went up to bed, and she wouldn’t be in the family circle.

      She brushed away the tears and resumed working on the stocking. As she rocked and knitted, she recited the prayer she had heard every night of her life, hearing Daed’s voice in her memory.

      When she finished, Ruthy let the stocking drop in her lap again and gazed at the empty room around her. Of all the things she had considered about choosing to follow God’s call to be a maidle and to serve Him by working in strangers’ homes, she had never considered this solitude. The clock ticking on the wall struck the half hour, the single chime echoing in the silent room. Years of empty, silent evenings stretched before her.

      Without a family of her own, she would always be only that single note.

      * * *

      “She isn’t Mam,” Nellie said as she snuggled next to Levi on the sofa.

      “Ne, she isn’t Mam.” Levi held his daughter tightly as he kissed the top of her head.

      “I like her,” Waneta said. “She was a big help with supper and afterwards.”

      Levi took in the faces of the other children as they gathered in the front room for their usual before-bedtime talk. When Salome was alive, this had been the time when he had led his family in evening prayers, but he hadn’t had the heart to resume them since she had left him with their children to raise alone.

      “What do you think, Elias?” Levi turned to his oldest son, only sixteen and already finding ways to spend time away from the family. He was serious about some girl and spent every Saturday evening out with his courting buggy.

      Elias rubbed the back of his neck, his chin rough with young whiskers. “She’s all right. She’s just keeping house, right? You haven’t brought her here to marry her or anything, have you?”

      “Ne. I only hired her to be our housekeeper and help with the girls.”

      “Well, then,” said Nathan, “she can stay. Anything so we don’t have to eat Waneta’s cooking anymore.” He grinned and ducked away as Waneta aimed a playful slap at his head.

      “She can’t stay. She’s mean.” Sam shifted on Levi’s lap, where Levi thought he had been sleeping.

      “You only think she’s mean because she wouldn’t let you eat cake before supper.” Nancy was snuggled against one side of him the way her twin, Nellie, was snuggled against the other.

      “You shouldn’t eat cake before supper anyway.” Martha was lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, always the dreamer.

      Levi stood up, lifting Sam in his arms. “Come now, it’s time for bed.”

      James and David finished their game of checkers while the others filed up the stairway. Jesse didn’t move from the corner of the sofa, where his head leaned against the padded arm as he snored softly. Levi smiled. He’d carry Sam up to the bed the two little ones shared and then come back down for Jesse. At least both boys were still small enough for him to carry.

      After tucking the two boys into their bed and saying good-night to each of the others, Levi steeled himself for the late-night visit to check the barn. Braving the bitter cold one more time was necessary if he was going to be able to rest peacefully tonight.

      He crossed the big front room to the kitchen door in his stocking feet, following a path of light across the dark floor. Someone had left the lamp burning in the kitchen. It was a waste of good lamp oil when he was scraping for cash to