considering.’ The words came out low with the edge of a growl. Even Lancelot raised his head at the sound.
‘Careful, Rupert.’ Warren gripped the banister, setting hard on his arms as he leaned forward, staring the man down. ‘She was as much my sister as she was your wife.’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply anything or to sound desperate, but some days I feel so lost without her.’ He hung his head, raking one hand through his thinning dark hair, the simple gold wedding band glowing on his finger. ‘If she were here, I’d have her support and it would make it easier to deal with the setbacks and disappointments.’
Warren eased his grip on the banister at the anguish in Rupert’s words. Warren had lost his greatest supporter, too, when Leticia had died. She’d edited and read all of his manuscripts, telling him where they were best and what could be improved, and she’d believed in them, and him, even when he hadn’t. Not even Mr Berkshire had matched her enthusiasm for his work and now she was gone.
He slid his hand over the banister, then took the spiral staircase step by slow step. He could almost hear Leticia begging him to help Rupert. She’d begged Warren to invest in Rupert’s first business after they were engaged so he could make enough to allow them to marry. Warren had been as wary of that venture as he was this one, but Leticia had stood in front of his desk, like Rupert did now, pleading with him to change his mind, to help Rupert and to make her happy.
He approached his brother-in-law, the differences in their height making Warren look down on the slender man. Whatever Rupert’s shortcomings, Warren had taken him on when he’d given his consent for the marriage. If Rupert did manage to make a go of things, Warren could make a great deal. He’d need it, especially if he failed to deliver this next book or it didn’t sell as well as the previous one. Without Leticia here to edit it, it might not. Since her death, his stories had all but deserted him.
‘All right, tell me how much you need and I’ll discuss it with my man of affairs. I can’t give you everything you’re asking for, but perhaps I can do something.’ The key was not to risk too much.
Rupert snatched up Warren’s hand and shook it. ‘Thank you, Warren, you don’t know how much this means to me.’
He did. Mr Berkshire had taken a chance on Warren’s first manuscript ten years ago, paving the way to Priorton and Warren’s title. He hoped Rupert enjoyed the same success. If not, it would be the last time Warren helped him.
‘Warren?’ His mother appeared at the door, a letter in her hand. Lancelot roused himself and trotted to her, his jingling collar joining the faint echo of hammers and saws trickling down from the upper floors. ‘Lady Ellington and Miss Domville are coming to tea tomorrow. I’d like you to join us.’
Miss Domville.
Warren undid his loose cravat and twisted the ends back into an uncooperative knot. To say he was startled when he’d turned to find her in the dining room last night was putting it mildly. He couldn’t have been more stunned if she’d marched in claiming he’d fathered a child. Since then, to his ire, he’d thought more about her than the heroine of his latest manuscript. Her sharp cheeks highlighted by the fair hair pulled into tight ringlets at the back of her head, the blush of youth across the sweep of her skin and the azure eyes watching him with suspicion, had proved fascinating. She’d dressed modestly, with a higher bodice than even a vicar’s daughter, but the raw appeal of her curving body had been jarring—just like her request for his help.
Shame made his cravat tighter and he pulled loose the knot again. Not even the other gentlemen’s disapproving and less polite scrutiny had been enough to shake her determination, but his near refusal had. When he’d hesitated, it had sent a whisper of fear through her clear blue eyes before her determination had overcome it. She’d been like the most stalwart of captains, unwilling to let anything stop her from achieving her goal, not even a ridiculous sense of propriety. If only all people possessed the same judgement and resilience. The Admiralty certainly didn’t, heaping pay and praise on physicians who did nothing but hide from illness onshore while the underpaid surgeons choked below deck treating the wounded men.
Warren gave up on the cravat and allowed the loose linen to dangle around his neck. He shouldn’t have been so quick to leave Miss Domville last night. She’d caught his struggle with the past and despite her own concerns she’d reached out to him. Instead of thanking her for her sympathy, one people rarely offered him, he’d shoved her away. Despite his misstep, it was probably for the best given his inability to stop thinking about her. He didn’t have the time or money for anything as expensive as a wife and family, even if the woman possessed means. He wasn’t about to make his fortune by marrying it. He’d earn it as he always had, and as a man should, through his own industry.
‘Warren, you can’t be rude to Lady Ellington.’ His mother shook her head at him, her lace cap fluttering over her dark hair which was more grey than chestnut now. ‘Her nephew is a marquess who could do a great a deal for you and your career.’
‘I have the Prince for a patron. I hardly need a lowly peer,’ he teased with a grin she matched with a slightly more serious one as she patted Lancelot on the head. ‘I have too much work to do. I’ll rely on you to speak glowingly of me and cultivate her support.’
‘So you won’t come for Lady Ellington, I understand. But I thought for sure you’d want to see Miss Domville.’ His mother was far more tenacious than Rupert, who’d watched the conversation with interest, but her company much more pleasurable
‘Not if you want to maintain your good reputation,’ Rupert snorted now.
‘She’s a very charming young lady,’ Warren’s mother corrected, silencing Rupert’s chortles.
He didn’t respond and Warren didn’t press for the story behind his snide remark. Gossip didn’t interest him and he hated encouraging the spread of it by asking for whatever tale Rupert had heard.
‘Now, if you’ll both excuse me, I have chapters to write.’ He opened his arms and caught his mother by the shoulders and gently guided her to the hallway. He waved Rupert over and Rupert jogged forward to join them like a summoned spaniel.
‘Perhaps you could discuss my business venture with Lady Ellington,’ Rupert near panted. ‘If she or the Marquess could be convinced to invest—’
‘One thing at a time, Rupert.’ He clapped him on the back, unwilling to solicit the county on his behalf, not when he could devote the same time and energy to selling his next book. Assuming he could write it.
‘Come, Rupert, I’ll show you the new plasterwork in the sitting room before you return to London.’ His mother took Rupert’s arm and led him into the hallway as Warren slid the study door closed.
He sagged against the heavy oak. Lancelot’s eyebrows shifted as he watched his master.
Chapters. Warren had barely written a page today, much a less a whole chapter. It wasn’t for lack of trying. His desk and the floor around it were littered with discarded papers full of useless words for pointless stories of boring characters that went nowhere and would make him no money.
Warren dropped into his chair and stared at the silent and cold collection of books and medieval manuscripts surrounding him. In the midst of it all, he felt as lonely and isolated as he had aboard ship when no one had understood his struggles or his dreams for a different future, except Leticia. And then he’d killed her.
He snatched up his pen and held it over the paper, determined, as then, to forge on. He wouldn’t allow his doubts or guilt to hinder him, not with so much depending on his continued success and the money it would make him. The half-filled page taunted him from the blotter, along with the incessant banging of hammers from somewhere overhead. Pressing the nib to the paper, he wrote one word, then another, determined to push through. He had no choice, there was no one else who could do it or save him.