Carolyne Aarsen

The Cowboy's Christmas Baby


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my-big-mouth, mixed in with three tablespoons of wounded pride and a soupçon of McCauley.”

      “Oooooh, that cake,” Jodie said with a knowing nod of her head. “I should have baked a few of those in my life. That and Humble Pie.” Then she shot her a questioning glance. “So I’m guessing the cake is for Dean?”

      “Oh, yeah.”

      “What did you say to him?”

      Erin set the flowers in the pot and put it back on the table, avoiding her sister’s gaze. “I kind of made it sound like he wasn’t capable of fixing my house. At least I think he took it that way.”

      “Oh, dear.”

      “It wasn’t that I thought he couldn’t do it,” she said, fiddling with the flowers, arranging them just so. “It’s just, well, I’m not comfortable being around him and my mouth got away on me.”

      “Honey, that’s my line, not yours.”

      “I know. I was feeling weird.”

      Weird and ashamed. She had always been the good girl. The one who turned down Dean’s many requests for dates because he was too rough and rowdy for her. Now she was the one who wasn’t “suitable.” She was the one who had messed up her life.

      “Anyhow, I felt bad so I thought I would bake him a cake,” Erin continued.

      “I should go get him so we can eat it. He’s probably not had lunch yet.” She shot her sister a questioning glance as she stood. “If that’s okay with you?”

      “I guess.” Dean would be working here so she figured she might as well try to smooth things over between them as soon as possible.

      Jodie walked to the door still carrying her baby.

      “I’ll take Caitlin, though,” Erin said, holding out her arms for her daughter.

      “I’ll be careful.”

      Erin held Jodie’s puzzled gaze for a beat, surprised at the flutter of panic that seeing Jodie walk away with her daughter created in her. “I know. It’s just... I haven’t had anyone else taking care of her since she was born. Besides, she needs her diaper changed.”

      Jodie seemed to understand and handed Caitlin over to Erin, but as she did she held Erin’s eyes. “Are you okay?”

      “I’m fine,” she said, disappointed at how breathless she sounded, glancing down at Caitlin. “I’m just fine.”

      “Okay, I’ll be inside shortly.”

      Then Jodie disappeared around the side of the house.

      Erin took a steadying breath, her heart finally slowing down. What was wrong with her? Why the panic attack? This was her sister, not some random stranger.

      Hormones. That’s what she was blaming it on, she reasoned, cuddling Caitlin closer as she walked toward her bedroom.

      A few moments later she had Caitlin’s diaper changed and her baby lay swaddled up in a bouncy chair Lauren had rustled up from some of the cousins. Caitlin stared, cross-eyed, at the little stuffed animals hanging from the bar straddling the chair, her mouth a perfect little O.

      As Erin held her daughter’s tiny fingers, wrapped tightly around her own, her heart pinched.

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