unannounced visit to Cooper and Sophie? Would that look odd? It wasn’t like they had a phone number she could just call. She was pondering about how to word her invitation when she became aware of silence on the porch, and Gran’s eyes fixed on her. “I’ll go over there tomorrow.”
“That’s fine and dandy, but let’s talk about you.” Gran picked up her knitting—a baby blanket in cheery blocks of turquoise and white. Ellie was working on a sweater of the same color combination from her spot on the couch. “I’m glad you’re back, but you still haven’t really said why.”
“I’m home to see Ellie’s twins being born. To do the whole godparent thing with Luke. For Luke and Ruby’s wedding. There are plenty of reasons to be here, so why wouldn’t I visit now?”
Ellie shifted her weight on the couch. “You came home with four suitcases and two cameras. This isn’t a visit.” After a moment Ellie added, “Is it?”
How could she give an answer she didn’t yet know herself? It was so, so good to be home and yet at the same time, she didn’t know what her place was here anymore. Her other siblings had settled so thoroughly into the running of the ranch and its side businesses. Where did she fit? Tess felt like the missing piece in a nearly finished puzzle—everything else was in its place but her. “I’m staying through the wedding, but I don’t know my schedule after that.”
That was a very sketchy way of glossing over the fact that she’d sold all the rest of her equipment and her furniture, walked out on an apartment lease and didn’t have new work lined up. “I don’t know my schedule” was miles away from “my life is in total collapse because of what happened in Adelaide.”
Gran let the knitting fall to her lap. “Don’t get me wrong, sugar, I’m thrilled to have you back on the ranch. I just get the sense there’s more to why you’re here than babies and weddings. I know you. You won’t tell me till you’re good and ready. But I just want you to know I’m ready to listen when the time comes.”
She’d have to tell them eventually. Gran was right—she always did in the end. But sharing this story would be harder than anything she’d ever had to confess before. She’d loved sending back reports from exotic places all over the world, swooping in for short stays where she could dole out bits of news at her own speed. The months she’d spent in Adelaide had turned her life upside down—in both good and bad ways—and she hadn’t yet come up with the words to tell even these people—who loved her—what had transpired. Both intertwined stories were long, emotional tales, and she couldn’t find the words to start the telling. Or to whom.
Should she confide in Luke, who knew her best despite their long estrangement, which had now ended? Gunner, who’d become such a wise leader of the family she hardly recognized him from the rebellious teen who’d left before their father died? Compassionate Ellie, who knew what it was like to have a relationship go sour on a grand scale? Or Gran, who would never judge no matter what Tess revealed? Gran would understand how you can love in an instant for no good reason, how someone can yank the foundation out from under your life in ways you never saw coming.
She could start with Gran, but not here and not now. This had to go in bits and pieces, one bit at a time—only she couldn’t figure out which bit to tell first. For a split second Tess thought it might be easiest to tell Audie, whose “soul was far beyond her years” as Gran used to say. But Audie was far too young to hear about how people you thought you loved could rob you blind.
Tess thought about Bardo. How could she ever explain the way her heart had moved when she’d looked into the little boy’s sweet brown eyes? How he’d told her his name meant “river”? How the orphan’s sadness clung to her in a way she knew would never subside? Four was far too young to be so old and sad. She thought back to yesterday, when she’d seen Sophie all dressed up for her birthday and radiating happiness at her presents. Watching that little girl’s joy only made her ache for the little boy from the Australian foster home she’d met on a photo shoot.
He’d stolen her heart in a single afternoon. Tess had started visiting every week, then twice a week, then every other day. The fierce craving to be Bardo’s mother—something that made no sense and was for all practical purposes nearly impossible—came out of nowhere. The Aussie foster home system worked so well that orphan adoptions of any kind were all but nonexistent. Less than one hundred per year to Aussie families. A twenty-five-year-old, single, American woman didn’t stand a chance. How could she explain how she’d thrown herself and all of her savings into trying anyway? At the urging of a man she thought loved her but turned out to just want her money? The failure felt too big to speak. Too humiliating to share, even with the people who loved her best.
I came home to family because all of a sudden I need to be a family but can’t. Because I lost a lot of money trying. Because Bardo needs my love and I need his but a thousand rules and regulations won’t ever let that happen. Because I’ve been fooled by a man I never should have trusted. Because I’m deep in debt and grieving for something I never had and can’t ever have. I have to figure out what’s next, but I haven’t a clue where to go from here.
Gran’s eyes softened as Tess realized her eyes burned with tears. The old woman reached out and squeezed Tess’s hand—a wordless comfort for a wordless plea.
“I’ve got some things I need to work through.” She fumbled the words out, afraid if she said more the whole story would come rushing out of her before she was ready.
Gran gave her hand another squeeze and offered a sad smile. “Don’t we all, child. Don’t we all.”
* * *
Cooper looked up from some landscaping sketches to peer out his office window at the sound of a vehicle coming up the drive. Who would...?
At the same time he heard Sophie racing down the hall. “Dad, Miss Tess is back!”
He’d told Glenno not to let just anybody in when the intercom buzzed—but he was hard pressed to say this interruption bothered him. Still, why was she back?
Sophie appeared in his study doorway, grinning. He was an introvert, craving his privacy, but clearly Sophie took after her extroverted mother. Her face fairly lit up at the prospect of company. “Well, you ought to go get the door then, girlie.” He stood as Sophie took off toward the front door.
She practically squealed her hello to poor Tess. He was relieved to hear Tess laugh at the enthusiastic greeting—Sophie was a bit much at times, but he loved her exuberance. He’d always thought it God’s gift to a little girl who’d have to scale a mountain of obstacles in life. When he made it to the front door, Tess and Sophie were sitting on a hallway bench while Sophie peered into a brown paper bag.
“What’cha got there, Sophie?”
Sophie looked up with wide eyes. “Bison burgers.” She thought for a moment then asked, “What’s a bison?”
He knew the Blue Thorn Ranch had been revitalized from a failing cattle ranch into a thriving bison ranch by Tess’s older brother Gunner. “It’s another name for a buffalo.”
Sophie looked at Tess. “You can eat ’em? How do they taste?”
“Delicious. You can eat their meat, you can wear their hides, you can even make yarn out of their coats.” Tess leaned in. “You just can’t pet them. Or ride them.”
That made Sophie giggle. He’d pointed the huge brown animals out to Sophie on the rare times they’d gone off the ranch together and some of the Buckton family’s animals stood near the road that separated their ranches.
“Actually, I’m rather glad you haven’t met them yet. There was a time when a few of our bison were known to wander over to this land. The former owner used to get rather steamed about it.”
Another reason Paul Larkey wasn’t everyone’s favorite neighbor. Would that help the case for what he wanted to do when he shifted from tenant to owner of the ranch? Or hurt it? You have to buy it from the foreclosure bank first, which means you have to tell Hunter first, he reminded