when I couldn’t find Allie, I had a brief taste of their terror. I never want to go through that again.”
“No,” she whispered.
“Your honesty has given me deeper insight into my daughter’s soul. The powerful emotions that drove you all those years are driving my daughter. Though Matt’s not vocal about it, both children need answers about the mother who abandoned them. What worries me is that without them, Allie’s going to be stunted in ways I don’t want to think about.”
Kathryn stared at him. “You can’t provide the answers?”
“After I got home from taking you to the airport, I sat down with the twins and told them as much truth as I felt they could handle. It’s something I should have done years ago. My grandmother warned me that if I didn’t explain things as soon as they could understand, there’d be repercussions.”
A shadow darkened his eyes. “Considering Allie’s behavior, my grandmother was a prophetess. Too late after the fact, the children now know their mother hated the ranch, hated being under my grandparents’ thumb and hated me most of all for taking her away from the money and glitter of big-city life. Unfortunately that explanation isn’t enough for Allie. She still wants to find her mother.”
“Is that an impossibility?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. The twins were in the hospital a month. She never went in to hold or feed them. When I finally brought them home, she took off for long periods. After they’d been home a week, she went out one day and never returned. I knew she’d planned to leave me, so I can’t say I was surprised.”
Kathryn groaned. “Allie told me that prior to your marriage Natalie had been raised by her aunt and uncle in Salt Lake. Would she have gone there?”
Colt’s eyes turned to flint. “No. During one of our fights, she admitted that her aunt and uncle were a tale of fiction. There was no Beehive Motel, but by that time I’d figured as much because she never wanted to travel to Salt Lake to see them. It all came out that she’d lived in one foster home after another until she got a job in Las Vegas, where we met.”
“Oh, Colt …”
“That’s what you get for marrying a woman after only knowing her two weeks.”
Two weeks? A stab of pain went through her. Colt had to have been besotted.
“Perhaps now you can understand why early on I maintained the story that she’d grown up in Salt Lake. I couldn’t bring myself to tell the children their father’s immaturity and poor lack of judgment had doomed them to a motherless existence. When you phoned me, I was horrified to think Allie had gone there on a wild-goose chase.”
“It’s only natural you wanted to protect them.”
“Don’t try to make it better, Kathryn, because you can’t. I take full responsibility for being too drunk on the rodeo life to pay attention to what was really important until it was too late. The thing that alarms me now is that even though the twins know most of the truth, Allie’s still wondering if Natalie might have been the object of foul play. In her mind, that would explain why she never came home that day.”
“That’s because she’s heard my story,” Kathryn lamented. On top of having been married to an irresponsible child, Colt was in real trouble because he had a daughter who was a big dreamer like Kathryn. Until presented with incontrovertible truth about her mother’s character, Allie would cling to the possibility that something terrible had happened to her.
“You’re right,” Colt muttered. “My daughter would rather believe her mother’s alive somewhere, unable to return home to her children rather than accept the alternative. In truth, Natalie tried several times to go in for an abortion, but I caught her in time.”
Kathryn froze. “Do the children know about that?”
“No. I hope they never have to know. The fact is, I told Natalie I’d do anything for her if she would carry the babies to term. We made a bargain. I gave her all the savings I had and told her she could leave me after they were born, no questions asked.” Colt stopped pacing. “She left with the money all right and made sure she stayed lost.”
The revelations kept coming. “Was it a big sum?”
“No, but you don’t have to worry about Natalie. She was resourceful. It took a while before I realized she’d stolen the world championship gold buckle I’d won at the NFR in Las Vegas. It was worth at least fifteen thousand dollars at the time. If she found the right buyer, she could have sold it for a great deal more money.”
Kathryn got up from the table. “I’ll pour us some more hot coffee.” She needed a minute alone to absorb what he’d just told her. When she returned to the dining room, she put his cup and saucer in front of him. “I didn’t give you cream or sugar, but maybe I should have asked the first time.”
“As you figured out last week, I like it black.”
“Having been raised on a farm, I learned to drink it with a lot of both. It’s a habit I can’t seem to break.”
“We all need one or two of life’s little pleasures to keep us going.”
“I’m a chocolaholic, too,” she confessed.
One corner of his compelling mouth lifted. “Aren’t we all?” After he took a big swallow of the steaming liquid, he set the cup down. “How did your sister trace you to Wisconsin?”
His question told her exactly why he’d flown to Salt Lake. It didn’t come as a shock, but she suffered the pang of disappointment to realize that where she was concerned, there was nothing personal about this visit.
She cleared her throat. “Maggie had the help of an undercover CIA agent named Jake Halsey who eventually became her husband. She’d gone to a genealogical firm hoping someone could research the name Buric. It was the only lead my family had to go on. Jake started working on it and cracked the case.”
“Is he still with the CIA?”
“He has all the connections, but now that they’re married and have a little boy, he works as a genealogist and gives the bureau help on certain difficult cases.”
Her guest studied her for a moment. “I’d like to hire your brother-in-law to find Natalie. I’ll pay any fee he charges.”
“If he can do it, you couldn’t find a better man for the job.” She checked her watch. “I’m pretty sure he’s already left for the game. Tell you what. If you’re going to fly back today, I’ll talk to him this evening and ask him to call you. Would that be all right?”
“I couldn’t ask for more.”
Gone in an instant was the hope that he’d be staying overnight in Salt Lake. Her spirits sank to another level.
He finished his coffee. “I know your coworkers are waiting downstairs for you, so I’ll leave and let you get back to your vigil. For what it’s worth, I’m torn up over the little girl’s kidnapping. At least if it’s her body they found, the parents will be able to have a proper burial for her and try to cope with their loss.”
She saw a glint of pain in his eyes before he added, “Unlike your family, who must have suffered hundreds of little deaths each time a body was found that might have been yours and then wasn’t. Because of my own joy hearing from you that Allie was all right, I have some appreciation for your parents’ joy when you were found.”
Colt understood a lot.
“That was one incredible day.” Kathryn put on a bright smile, pretending that his plan to fly back to Montana hadn’t affected her. “Let me call for the limo to take you to the airport, then I’ll go down in the elevator with you.”
Chapter Six
Colt stomped the snow off his boots and entered the ranch house with Allie’s backpack.