he was thinking.
“There’s a death certificate signed by the attending physician,” he offered quietly, knowing Bill didn’t want to think rationally at the moment. Ryan wasn’t the only one battling with personal feelings. “I’d say that’s pretty cut-and-dried evidence.”
Bill squared his shoulders into that stubborn set that Ryan recognized from years of working on the same team. “Damn, man,” Bill all but snarled, “give Mel a little credit. We’ve worked enough of these cases to know that once in a great while the connection between mother and child is so strong that they can sense each other’s needs. Mel could be right on this.”
That much was true to a degree, but more often than not it was mere wishful thinking. Ryan looked away. He didn’t want to see the worried determination in his old friend’s eyes, and he sure didn’t want to look at the anguish in Melany’s. He had seen that look far too many times in too many faces. When people lost a child, it left them empty. And they were never the same again. Ryan forced away the endless stream of memories that attempted to haunt his every waking moment. He shouldn’t be here. But what could he do? This was Mel. She needed him. Could he take the easy way out? Just walk away?
“All right,” he conceded, knowing he’d have to speak to Victoria Colby about the time off. Since he wasn’t currently assigned to a case he doubted it would be a problem.
This was a mistake. He knew it. Bill knew it, too. Ryan’s gaze moved back to Melany. But he couldn’t just walk away. He owed her that much. If he let himself admit the truth, he owed her a lot more than that. He’d taken all she had to give for three years, all the time knowing he would never give her the one thing she wanted with all her heart. He forced those thoughts from his mind. This wasn’t about him. She’d obviously forgotten him and moved on.
The idea of Melany with another man sat like a stone in his gut. But he couldn’t ignore the facts. She’d had a child with someone since he’d last seen her.
“So all we have at the moment,” Ryan deduced aloud with as much objectivity as he could marshal, “is Mel’s word against everyone else’s that her daughter is, in fact, alive.”
Bill closed his notebook and tucked it back into his pocket. He didn’t look at Ryan this time, his full attention remained on the woman they both cared for far too much. “That’s about the size of it,” he said, resigned.
“Well, then.” Ryan loosened his tie. “Let’s start with what we’ve got.”
He watched Melany for a few more seconds before leaving the viewing room. The one thing that made the whole damned situation different was Melany. She was a mother suffering through the kind of agony all mothers prayed they would never know, that much was true. But Melany Jackson was not like other mothers. She had received the same training as Ryan. She had seen many of the same cases and haunting faces as he had. And Ryan knew in his gut that no matter how far over the edge circumstances pushed her, at some point that deeply entrenched instinct kicked in.
If Melany believed her child was alive, he would damn well do everything in his power to help her find the truth.
Whatever that truth might prove to be.
MELANY SAT like a statue, her full attention focused on keeping thoughts and images of the past two days away. Despite her best efforts, snippets of her tense conversations with Bill kept echoing in her head. Sounds from the psych ward at Memphis General. The endless pacing and murmuring in the corridor…doors slamming. The distinctive click of locks turning…patients moaning. And the smell. God, the smell. She swallowed hard. Medicinal, yet somehow menacing. She never wanted to go back there.
She knew what they thought. All of them. They believed she had lost it. Her baby was dead, they thought, and she’d gone over the edge.
But it wasn’t true. Well maybe she had slipped over that precipice temporarily. She squeezed her eyes shut and blocked the instant replay of those frantic minutes in the cemetery. She had lost it for a little while…that much was accurate. When she’d tried to explain what she knew in her heart, no one would listen. She was nuts, they’d murmured.
But she knew the truth.
Bill believed her.
She opened her eyes and stared intently at the scarred table before her, tracing the lines of age and abuse wrought by belligerent suspects and frustrated detectives. Anything to prevent those horrifying images from filling her mind. But it was no use. The dizzying emotions bombarded her, leaving her defenseless.
The tiny grave surrounded by wreaths of withering flowers. The cold rain plastering her clothes to her skin. The sodden earth oozing between her icy fingers. Needing desperately to find her baby. Lights shining in her face. Two policemen dragging her away from her daughter’s grave. And then struggling with the hospital orderlies.
A pathetic sound intended as a rueful laugh but falling well short of the definition erupted from her throat. They hadn’t even bothered running her downtown, she’d been taken straight to the hospital. No one would listen to her explanations of why she was at the cemetery or her concerns about her daughter. A nurse had, and with the help of an orderly, stripped her, forced her into a shower, then strapped her into a bed and sedated her. Twenty-four hours later, after she’d been questioned and analyzed by the shrink on duty, they had allowed her a telephone call.
Who else could she have called? She had no family. Melany rubbed her eyes, then dried her cheeks with the backs of her hands. She hadn’t wanted to call Bill, but she hadn’t known what else to do. She knew she could trust him and if anyone on earth would listen to her, it would be him.
He had listened. Despite her lack of hard evidence, he’d ordered the exhumation. She shuddered as those memories tumbled one over the other into her head. It was just like in her dream. No vault…just that tiny white coffin with its pink satin interior.
And just as she knew it would be, it had been empty.
She closed her eyes and struggled with the emotions twisting inside her. Where was her little girl? Why had they lied to her at the hospital? How had they fooled her friend?
She knew with every fiber of her being that Katlin was alive. But how would she ever prove it? The doctor had signed the death certificate. The funeral home attendant had signed for the body. Her good friend, Rita, had identified Katlin from a photograph. A new surge of pain constricted her throat.
How could all of them be wrong? But how could they be right? She wouldn’t let them be right.
Another shudder quaked through her. She had to be strong. Her baby was out there somewhere and Melany had to be strong for her. She stiffened her spine and blinked back the tears welling in her eyes once more. Bill would help her find Katlin. She could trust Bill. He’d been her mentor at the Bureau. Her mentor and her friend. She’d known him for eight years. He wouldn’t let her down.
The door opened behind her and someone stepped inside. Melany smiled weakly. She knew it was Bill even before he walked around to the other side of the table and took the seat opposite her. He smelled vaguely of Old Spice and the cigarette he’d no doubt just sneaked a few puffs from in the closest men’s room.
Bill looked tired. Hell, they were both tired. They’d been up the better part of the past forty-eight hours. His suit was a little wrinkled, but still presentable. Lines of fatigue had scrawled themselves into his familiar face. He was like family and she was so glad he was here.
“How’re you holding up, Mel?” he asked gently.
She forced a little more feeling into her smile. “I’m okay.” It was a flat-out lie, but he understood. Her child was missing. How could she be okay? Her head still ached a little but most of the soreness was gone. None of that mattered right now. She had only one thing on her mind, finding her daughter.
“Have they found the employee from the cemetery who…” Her words trailed off. She couldn’t say the rest. God, would this nightmare never end? She just wanted her baby back.
Bill shook his head. “Not