a number to the years, she might start crying...and never stop. So many regrets that couldn’t be undone.
“I’ve got this, Daddy. I’m used to being on my own.”
“You are not alone. You’ve never been alone. We’ve been here the whole time, waiting. I never asked you to leave. I...” He took a deep breath. “I understood why you left, but once your stepmother was gone, why didn’t you come back? The door was always opened for you.”
“Sheila was never any kind of mother, step or otherwise.” This was exactly the reason she never came home. Adjusting her ponytail, Nikki pulled it tight. “I know I would be welcomed home. I just needed to move on from Clear Water.” She jerked the handle harder than necessary and stepped out onto the golf-ball-sized gravel. “If you don’t leave now you’ll be late, and a Bergmann is never late. Love you.”
As she tried to walk away with a straight spine, the uneven concrete steps slowed her down. She paused on the top one. She had never been good at being truthful with herself.
It was not the four lopsided steps that stopped her, but the thought of going in the store and seeing people she hadn’t seen in years. Maybe she should have let her dad go for her so she could keep hiding in the house.
A couple more steps and she forced herself to open the glass door. The tiny bell rang and the few people in the store turned and looked at her before going back to their business, everyone except Victoria Lawson. Well, Miller since she married Tommy. Barbed wire tightened around her spine.
Vickie was one of the people she didn’t want to see. The one person she never dreamed would be working in a small-town grocery store. The one person she owed the biggest apology to. She didn’t think Vickie even knew. Maybe she had been wrong keeping silent. At the time, she thought telling everyone would just cause more hurt all around.
The former head cheerleader and class president came around the counter and hugged her. “Nikki Bergmann, it’s great seeing you. Danica told me you were in town. Welcome back.” In high school, she’d been the perfect girl dating the perfect quarterback. There was a petty, dark part of Nikki that was disappointed her secret high school rival was still as beautiful, maybe even more so. Last she heard, Vickie and Tommy were at Baylor University together and had a son a year after she had her... Stop it, Nikki!
Shifting from one foot to the other, she tried to come up with something polite to say. People made small talk. It was normal. Be normal.
She hated chitchat. Forcing a smile, she returned Vickie’s hug then stepped back. “Thank you. So you and Tommy moved back to Clear Water?”
“Where have you been? I can’t believe your sisters didn’t tell you. I moved back to Clear Water without Tommy. We’re divorced and he’s, well... He’s not around.”
For a moment, her brain shut down. Not a single neuron fired. “Oh, I...I’m sorry.”
Vickie laughed. “Don’t be. Jake Torres and I are married now. Coming back was the best thing that ever happened to me. Maybe God has something great in store for you too.” She smiled, a real smile, not the smirk she used back in high school. “I finally got smart. So what brought you in today?” She glanced down at Nikki’s leg. “Anything I can get for you?”
“I just need a cart.” She tried smiling again, but it felt tight. Between the pain traveling from her leg to her spine, and the emotions of guilt, her lungs burned from the lack of air. Vickie was married to Jake, not Tommy. All the horrible feelings when she was a teenager started crowding out the person she worked hard to become while she was away from Texas. Another reason she didn’t want to ever step foot in Clear Water again.
The wood floors under her feet had to be over a hundred years old. How many people had walked through here, taking care of their families? People that didn’t run away. She needed painkillers. She needed them over an hour ago.
Vickie brought a small wobbly wheeled shopping cart over to her. Leaning into it, Nikki almost cried from the relief of taking pressure off her leg.
Stomping off from her dad had been a bad choice. Her whole leg throbbed, and it was her own fault. Yeah, that’s her, a living, breathing, limping example of pride cometh before the fall.
The shopping cart pulled to the left again. She growled and yanked it back. Great, she had a lame basket too.
“Nikki?”
She dropped her head before plastering a smile on her face and turning to Adrian. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were stalking me.”
“Maybe you do know better, and you’re onto me.” His heart-melting smile was highlighted by a wink.
She glared at him. Did she look like the kind that invited flirting? Most of the men in her life didn’t even try.
He dared to lean in closer and grinned. “Do you need help? What are you getting?”
“I’m just getting some painkillers, almond milk and orange juice. But I’ve got it.”
“Daddy! Look, they have a new horse book. Can I get it too?” A beautiful girl of about ten hobbled over on crutches, her long dark hair trying to crawl out of a French braid.
Nikki froze. Her gut twisted. Adrian’s daughter.
“Mia, this is Nikki Bergmann. She’s the long-lost oldest Bergmann sister. We went to school together. Nikki, my daughter, Mia.”
“Oh, you saved Swift. She’s so sweet. Thank you for giving her to my dad. I promise to take good care of her and you can come see her anytime. So you went to school with my dad. Did you know my mom?”
Adrian cut his daughter a glare. “Mia.”
“Sorry. Daddy says you have a brace too.” The girl looked at her leg in confusion. “Did they let you take it off?”
She watched Adrian walk the short distance to the cooler at the end of the aisle. He was a man now with a man’s filled-out frame, but he still had the I-own-the-world swagger that seemed to be in all bull riders. It was hard to believe he gave it up for his daughter. She glanced at Mia. Did he have regrets? Obviously Charlotte, Mia’s mother, was a banned subject.
The silence didn’t deter the young girl. “I just got my cast off, and Tuesday I have my first day in full therapy. I have a rod and screws holding my leg together. Are you in physical therapy?”
She was as talkative as her dad. Nikki blinked a few times to clear her thoughts. “I’ll be there at sixteen hundred hours.”
Adrian tossed a bottle of orange juice and a carton of unsweetened almond milk in her cart as he laughed. “For us civilians, we need to translate.” He rolled his eyes up as he counted on his fingers. He looked back at them with a grin. “Four o’clock, right?”
The girl’s face lit up. “Yay! We can be workout buddies. Daddy said you’re an adventure guide in the Grand Canyon and you were in the navy. That sounds really cool. I broke my leg in three places being drug by a horse in the arena. I hit my head, so I don’t remember any of it, but Daddy saw everything.” The same gold flecks her father had now flashed in her young eyes.
“Mia.” Adrian looked as if he had lost some color to his dark skin and his eyebrows had a deep crease between them. He did not share Mia’s excitement over the story of her accident.
Leaning closer to her, Mia whispered, “Daddy’s having a harder time dealing with my injury than I am.”
“Sorry, she thinks everyone wants to hear her life story.”
“Wonder who she got that from?” She winked at Adrian. He actually blushed. Without thought, laughter—good honest laughter—bubbled forth. It surprised her at first. She didn’t laugh often—not much to laugh about.
Mia didn’t seem to notice her dad’s discomfort. “Did you fall while climbing cliffs, or smash against a rock in the white-water rapids? I’ve seen shows about it.”