like an adult, I was running away. I wanted to go back and apologize. That’s when I smelled the pot. I asked Chuck to stop so I could get off. He just laughed.”
She took another quick breath. “It started to rain and the motorcycle hit a patch of oil and hydroplaned. All I remember was the screaming and the pain. I woke up in a hospital a week later with my Mom, Dad and Gran around my bed. They looked so worried and I didn’t understand what was going on for a second and then it all came rushing back.”
He waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. She seemed locked in that moment as if she was reliving all the pain and he hated now that he had pushed her.
“You don’t have to tell me anymore,” he said quietly.
She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I just have these waves of thinking maybe I do need my parents to watch over me. And then I remember I’m a grown woman and I can’t stay their little girl forever. I have to live my own life even if I make big mistakes. And I’m paying for that mistake.”
She took a moment. “When I learned about my injuries, I couldn’t believe it. I had a broken collarbone, a fractured arm, my ribs were fractured. There were internal injuries, too. But the worst injury was to my left leg. The motorcycle landed on my leg, burned and crushed my knee. The surgeon wanted to amputate above the knee and my father, who’s a hospital administrator, called in a more qualified orthopedic surgeon. He did a total knee replacement and ran a rod up my thighbone and into my shinbone to hold the knee in place. It worked and I’d never been so happy in my whole life.”
She paused again. “A lot of the muscle above my knee was gone and we waited to see if more tissue would grow back. Some did. They did skin grafts to help close the wound. Then I had to wait for the wound to heal. After many weeks, they finally stood me up. It was painful, but I made myself do it. Every day I got a little better and I kept hoping I would one day be back to normal. I’d gotten a miracle and I was grateful for that. I knew my leg would never be the way it was, but at least I had my leg. I will never be able to wear a bathing suit or high heels or shorts again, though.”
“Does that matter?”
She lifted an eyebrow. “To an almost-twenty-eight-year-old woman it does. But I can’t go back and change things so I have to accept the way things are.”
He reached out to touch her cheek. She didn’t pull away or seem infuriated that he dared to touch her. It was just an impulse and in her eyes he saw she understood. “I think you’re awesome with or without high heels or skimpy shorts.”
“You’re flirting.” Her lips turned into a refreshing smile.
“Yeah.” He sat up straight. “I’m a master at that.”
“Mmm.” A flurry of honking made her look toward the pond, where the geese were beginning to fight. “Henry’s letting them know he’s boss.” The geese flapped their wings, batting at each other like boxers, stirring up the water.
Paxton watched them for a minute, until Henry swam to shore to sit near Henny. “I’m sorry for everything you’ve had to go through.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, not looking at him.
“I’m still curious about a couple of things. Why are your parents so protective of you?”
“When my mom left Horseshoe with me, she was so afraid Uncle Ira would try to kidnap me because he refused to let Ruger go with us. I think she still fears one day he’ll take me away from her like he did my brother.”
“After all these years, I doubt it.”
“My mom and I don’t talk about it anymore. She gets so upset as I don’t agree with her point of view. I didn’t live through all the pain and I tell her all the time that I’m an adult now and I can stay or go anywhere I want.”
“Good for you.”
The wind had picked up and again she gathered her coat closer around her. “Did I answer all your questions?” she asked mischievously.
It was good to see her in a better mood and her smile was infectious, making him forget what he wanted to ask her. Almost. “No. I still don’t understand why it’s hard for you to admit you’re not completely well.”
She shifted nervously on the bench. “I told you it was a long story.”
“I’m listening.”
“My best friend was Holly. We went to grade school and high school together, but we went to different colleges and lost touch for a while. She got married and I was dating. After college I started applying for jobs, and I got one at a small private school as a pre-K teacher. It was ironic that Holly was also a pre-K teacher in that same school. We were so excited to see each other again and became inseparable. Her husband was in the marines and was gone all the time. We spent most evenings together going over our classroom plans or going out to eat or walking for exercise. I helped her decorate a nursery and she was ecstatic that Derek was going to come home for the birth.”
Remi took a long breath. “When I was in the hospital, she came every day to see me. I went home the day before Thanksgiving and she still came all the way out to my parents’ house to visit. Then one day she didn’t come. I thought she had to run errands or something. The next day she didn’t come, either, and I asked my mom to check on her. My mom and dad walked into my room and I knew something was wrong by the expressions on their faces. My mom said Holly had died.”
She bit her lip and then continued. “Derek had been killed on his last mission in Afghanistan. When Holly got the news, she collapsed and went into labor. There were complications after delivering the baby, and she died. But then there was the baby. She was going to name her Anne, and call her Annie, after her mother, who had passed away when Holly was ten. The baby—” she took a gulp of air “—had a congenital heart defect that required surgery. I was there every day for Annie because I knew Holly would want me to be. I sat in a chair by her incubator and talked to her and told her about her parents and how much they loved and wanted her.”
She gulped another breath. “Then one day a lady from Child Protective Services came to speak to me. She said since they couldn’t find a relative to take Annie, she’d become a ward of the state and they were putting her up for adoption. At that moment I knew I wanted to be Annie’s mother. Holly would have wanted that and I told the lady so. I contacted an attorney and filled out the appropriate forms, but my attorney told me not to get my hopes up because CPS was going to look at everything, especially my health. I would have to be completely well and able to care for Annie. The only problem was Annie got well before I did. I’m still in therapy and I didn’t want anyone at the hospital to know that. So I say I’m fine. I have to be. I can’t lose Annie.”
Paxton now understood and wanted to take her in his arms and hold her. He’d never seen such a fighting spirit in one person. Not only was she fighting for herself, but for a little girl who needed a home.
Before he could say anything, she started speaking again. “They’ve started the adoption process and my lawyer got a call from CPS. They asked for me to stay away from the hospital for a few days because couples were going to be visiting with Annie. You see, Annie already knows me and she gets excited when she sees me.”
“Can’t they see that?” he asked.
“It doesn’t matter. I have to be healthy to be a mother, as I’m told. I’m doing everything I can to make that happen, but I’m so afraid they’ll give Annie to someone else.”
He leaned forward, his eyes on her. “Are you prepared for that?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not. I know in my heart that Annie belongs with me.”
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