had dislocated her shoulder twice before—it was in her file—which meant her shoulder was more prone to a repeat injury. And yet, he’d mercilessly yanked her arm.
What had he been trying to do? Show the guys he was better than them or prove to himself that Alessa was nothing more than another soldier? Good job, Luke. Fail on both counts.
Rodgers went about immobilizing her arm with a sling.
“You can let go of her now,” he told Luke not-so-tactfully. Luke was still cradling Alessa, and she seemed to realize it at the same moment. She sat up on her own, grunting as she did.
“If we were in the field, I’d set it for you,” Rodgers said, “but we have the luxury of a clinic on post. I’m going to give you a painkiller to tide you over.” He handed her a pill and Dimples followed with a bottle of water, which she chugged down.
Luke stood back while Rodgers and Dimples helped Alessa up and out of the pit. She tried to shrug them off, but they wouldn’t have it. They even helped her get on her shoes, ignoring her protests. Dan and Boots had gone to fetch a car. Luke felt useless, but he followed along, unsure of what to do.
At the jeep that Dan had commandeered, Rodgers held up a hand. “We only have room for four. Dan is driving, Dimples and I will go with Alessa.”
Luke scowled at him. “Dimples can stay here. I’ll go with you.”
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” Rodgers said unkindly.
It was no way to talk to a superior officer, but Luke was the one who had been training them to do just that. To treat him like they were a private security firm, not the disciplined soldiers of the army. He had encouraged his men to question orders and call him on his bullshit, which was exactly what Rodgers was doing now. Luke had no reason to go to the hospital with Alessa.
“Listen, there might be some administrative hassle with the unit designation. I don’t want there to be a problem,” Luke tried.
Rodgers narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything. Luke got the distinct impression that the other man could see right through him but was choosing not to say anything. They got into the jeep, Alessa in the back with Rodgers while Luke rode in the passenger seat. He would much rather have been with her, but Rodgers hadn’t given him a chance. Luke knew that Rodgers was single and irrationally wondered whether the man had feelings for Alessa. He seemed to be overly protective of her. And you’re not?
He snuck a glance at Alessa. She was holding her right arm to her chest, her face composed, but he didn’t miss the slight flare of her nostrils or the tinge of pink on her cheeks and throat. She was in pain. His stomach churned, the adrenaline burning off. In its place was the sickening feeling of self-loathing. He’d physically hurt a woman. And not just any woman. Alessa. Of course, he hadn’t meant to hurt her; in fact, he’d been very careful not to. Things had happened so quickly... Had he lost focus and missed that she was turning her body? Had he twisted her arm a fraction too hard? None of this would have happened if he’d been a stronger man and just refused to fight her.
In that moment when the team was goading him, he’d been ready to step away, to take the guys’ ribbing, but then he’d looked at Alessa and the fervor in her eyes had lit him up. He’d wanted nothing more than to prove to himself and his team that he deserved to be their commander, and that Alessa was nothing more than a soldier to him. So he’d stepped into the pit, and he’d hurt her. Possibly badly. Under normal circumstances, a dislocated shoulder was not a permanent injury, but with the previous trauma she’d endured, what if he had effectively ended her career? His mouth soured. I’m supposed to put my unit’s needs before my own. What kind of leader will I be?
They took her to the community hospital on base. The emergency room wasn’t busy, and Alessa was whisked into the treatment area. Luke, Rodgers and Dan were firmly told to stay in the waiting room. Dan volunteered to go find coffee for the men.
“What was that all about?” Rodgers didn’t waste any time once Dan was out of earshot. When Ethan died, Rodgers had been the de facto unit commander. By rank, Dimples was the most senior, but Rodgers had been with the team the longest and so he had been the one to get the team back home after their mission literally blew up. He’d been the one to hold the team together while Colonel McBride jockeyed for position and the team’s future hung in the balance. If it hadn’t been for Rodgers, Luke wouldn’t have a team to command; he was the heart and soul of the unit. So Rodgers was not a person to lie to. He would see right through Luke, and Luke needed Rodgers on his side to help him keep the unit together.
“I didn’t want to fight her.”
“Because she’s a girl or because you have feelings for her?”
Luke bit the inside of his cheek. It isn’t because she’s a woman, and it isn’t because I have feelings for her. I don’t. I can’t.
“The colonel didn’t want me to hire her. That’s why I put her in logistics. I didn’t want her getting injured and the colonel asking questions about why she was training.” It was a partial truth.
“Don’t you have a high opinion of yourself? She was holding back with you, and vice versa.”
Luke had sensed that, too. He’d seen Alessa fight and she was rough and fast, but with him she’d been way too hesitant.
Rodgers leaned forward. “Neither of you can afford a scandal. Maybe we’re just seeing things between you and Parrino ’cause you’ve got a reputation and it makes for good gossip between men. But it almost feels like you two are hiding something.”
We are. Luke didn’t want to have this conversation, but he couldn’t have the team suspect Alessa was spying on them. One way or another, a unit member was involved in Ethan’s disappearance and Luke needed the guys to trust Alessa. It was almost better for them to believe the worst of him. “You’re right, I’ve been treating her differently. Maybe because she is a good-looking woman. But I promise you there is nothing romantic between us, nor will there be. I’ll make sure of it.”
Rodgers nodded. “Good.” Then he took a breath. “As much as it pains me to say this, if she’ll be a distraction, I suggest you take her off the team, or at least keep her stateside for the next mission. We can’t screw this one up again.”
Luke pressed his lips together but said nothing. Rodgers was right. If he couldn’t even complete a simple exercise with Alessa, how would they ever work well in the field? The unit was already fractured; he couldn’t make it more divided by favoring a member. Not to mention that Rodgers was right in saying Alessa could ill afford another rumor. Luke was well aware of his own reputation and if the colonel even caught whiff of what had happened in the pit today, he wouldn’t hesitate to use it against Luke.
“It won’t be a problem.” Luke said with more confidence than he felt. Dan returned with steaming cups of coffee and they all sat in silence.
It didn’t take long for the doctor to set Alessa’s shoulder. Luke didn’t trust her to heed the doctor’s warning, so he pulled the man aside to ask him what her prognosis was.
“She asked that I not discuss her medical issues with you,” the doctor said.
He was a short, bald man in his sixties and he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Luke towered over him but the man did not seem to notice.
“I know this is her third dislocation, and I’m asking as her commanding officer whether she’s fit for duty.”
“Her chart says she’s logistics. She needs to wear the rotator cuff brace for at least two weeks, so she’s fit for whatever work she can do with her left hand. No heavy lifting for six weeks.”
“Will she regain full use of that arm?”
“I don’t see why not, as long as she follows my directions. Though I warn you—as I warned her—that next time she may separate her shoulder entirely and in that case, there is no guarantee what kind of nerve damage she might have.” The doctor peered at Luke. “I suggest