breath whooshed out of him. He’d pushed through the past week with sheer discipline, but now that he was home in Rodeo, he’d hit a wall.
And yet, he had so far to go. His new life had only just begun, with no time for fatigue. In coming home, he hadn’t reached the end, but a beginning.
He didn’t have a clue how to live this new life.
He scrubbed a hand over his face, his palm rasping across his unshaven jaw.
He drained the last of his coffee. Honey was right. The warm drink had restored a semblance of calm.
Needing another one, he stood. Already way ahead of him, Honey took his mug and refilled it.
He had to resist her allure.
If he let himself go, he would grab hold of her and never, ever release her again.
He wanted Honey that badly.
Her touch staggered him, weakened him and made him wish for things he knew could never be.
That bit of foolishness when he’d taken her hand and held on for dear life had been a mistake, simply his neediness taking over.
He loved her.
He shouldn’t. He knew in his heart they wouldn’t suit each other. Experience had taught him irreversible lessons.
Case closed.
She handed his coffee then stepped away, passing through a shaft of sunlight. His breath caught.
She really was one of the prettiest women for miles around. Honey’s deep-set blue eyes studied the world with captivating intelligence. Long, blond curls touched the base of her spine. A wide-necked white blouse fell from one shoulder while a belt cinched in her waist above a flowing blue skirt. Turquoise and silver jewelry at wrists, ears and throat shone in the sunbeam.
Her lush figure, pocket-size compared to his six-one frame, well... Cole swallowed. He couldn’t dwell on that too much. He’d ached for her for too long.
Best to ignore physical desires.
The absolute perfection of Honey Armstrong, though, was her smile—the one she flashed often for every man, woman and child in Rodeo. It turned prettiness into beauty.
Cole turned away and steeled himself.
The door that separated the apartment from the stairs down to the street opened. Violet Summer burst into the room. Exactly the kind of entrance bold, confident Vy liked to make. She waved to Cole at the other end of the living room. He raised one hand in a modified version of Vy’s flamboyance.
He liked Vy a lot. She was one of the town’s go-to sources of good common sense in the midst of any crisis. Plus, she sold great food at respectable prices and treated everyone with sincere, if sarcastic, good humor.
Chelsea followed her in, and Tori launched herself at her friend. They hugged.
“Did you bringed the nail polish?” Tori asked.
“What do you think, pipsqueak?”
Tori giggled. “’Kay.”
They put boxes on the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room and unloaded them. They must have cleaned out all of the diner’s Saturday leftovers.
Honey took Vy’s hand and led her down the hallway. Rachel followed. Cole knew what that meant—his story being shared.
He hated it, loathed this laying bare of his life, but he expected it. The whole town would, and should, know of it soon enough.
Rodeo was now the home of his sister’s two children, and the townspeople needed to get to know them.
He knew everything there was to know about his fellow citizens. Why shouldn’t they know about him? He’d protected his past from them, though. That was his and his alone.
But the children’s story would spread, naturally.
Vy strode back into the living room and made a beeline for him. He stood to catch her in his arms when she grasped him to her curvy body.
She held on for long moments, whispering, “I’m sorry.”
They both knew it was inadequate, but her concern was welcome nonetheless.
When he could take no more of her sympathy, he set her away from him. He glanced down and smiled to relieve the grief building in him like a pressure cooker about to blow.
God knew he didn’t want to cry in front of these women and the children. That would set off everyone, especially Evan and Madeline.
“Is it my imagination, or are you showing?”
Vy swatted his shoulder. “A man should never discuss a woman’s weight.” She dropped the fake outrage and grinned. “Yeah, I’m finally showing. Isn’t it awesome?”
If his answering grin wobbled around the edges, it was to be expected. He was happy for Vy, and Sam Carmichael, too, and glad they’d found each other even if the pregnancy had come shockingly quickly. Cole had no right to envy.
Vy deserved all of this and more.
When Vy turned to walk away, Cole noticed Honey watching with a frown.
What was that about?
Vy stooped in front of little Madeline.
“Hi,” she said and held out her hand.
Madeline didn’t take it.
Vy turned and tickled Tori until she giggled with delight. Tori and Vy were great friends.
Madeline and Evan watched with fascination, as well they might. Cole hadn’t been able to give them a damned bit of pleasure this past week.
He wished he knew more about their lives with his sister and her husband. His twice-yearly visits hadn’t been nearly enough to forge as strong a bond as he’d have liked with his nephew and niece.
He needed one now, this minute, but God knew how long that would take with the children so damaged.
He watched Honey placing bowls on place mats. Then she called the children to come and sit at the table.
When Madeline sat down, she started to cry.
Cole rushed over and picked her up. She cuddled her head against his chest. He knew she liked the vibrations his voice made when he talked. “What’s wrong?”
“Raisins,” she whispered for his ears only.
Honey had given the children Vy’s amazing rice pudding, some of the best comfort food on earth, thick with custard and sprinkled with nutmeg, but Madeline was obviously offended by the raisins.
“She doesn’t like raisins. Is there something else she can have?” He picked up her bowl to put it in the kitchen, but Tori’s high-pitched voice stopped him.
“Sheriff, no! I gots a big love for raisins. I eat them.”
A big love. Good lord, Tori was cute. No wonder she broke down resistance wherever she went.
He set the bowl back on the table.
“Maddy, do you likes rice pudding without raisins?” Tori asked.
Madeline nodded.
“I eat your raisins and you eat the pudding. Okay?”
Madeline nodded.
“Mommy, can you putted the raisins from Maddy’s pudding in my bowl?”
“I’ll do it,” Cole said. Tori might be here for the children’s sake, but her open, honest spirit soothed Cole as well. When he finished, the children ate.
Honey approached and rested her fingers on his arm to get his attention. He sidled away. He might crave contact with her, but Honey touching him constituted a dangerous, subversive act against his vulnerable defenses.