breath, drawing courage. “No, I’m serious. I can’t get involved.”
His heart lurched. This didn’t sound like good news. “Are you going to tell me you’re married?” Naomi Star at the front desk had said Tish was single, but she could have been mistaken. The man who’d hurt her, was she still involved with him?
She stared into his eyes as the seconds ticked by. “Would it make a difference if I were?”
He didn’t answer her. Instead, he shifted her closer. “You couldn’t be happily married and kiss me like you just did.” But he waited, his breath backing up in his throat.
“You’re right about that and no, I’m not married,” she said at last.
Jeff visibly relaxed. “Then what? What’s wrong?”
She found the middle button of his shirt fascinating as she tried to tell him. “After you left, I talked privately to Slim and asked him a couple of questions about you. I wanted to know some things and—”
“I thought you were going to play chess with Wonder Boy.”
“I begged off from that.”
“Good move.” He squeezed her arms. “I don’t mind if you talked with Slim. I have nothing to hide. Did he say something that upset you?”
“Not really upset me, it’s just that he told me you’ve got a couple of years of residency to go yet and I’m sent all over the world by SPEAR. I don’t think long distance relationships work well and I’m committed to my work.”
“I’m committed to SPEAR, too. I don’t see what that has to do with anything.” Domino chose that moment to give out with a loud whinny. “See, he doesn’t either.”
“No, wait, Jeff, I—”
“No, Tish, you wait.” He leaned down, his face inches from hers. “When I kissed you just now, when you kissed me back, tell me honestly how you felt, and remember, Domino’s listening.”
Her features changed, lightened, as she remembered and a gentle blush warmed her face. “Honestly?” She looked hesitant, then apparently decided to tell him the truth. “I felt like the top of my head was going to take off, like I was walking into a hot, white flame, like nothing I’ve ever felt before.”
Jeff smiled. “So did I, and that’s something neither of us can fake. That’s all we need to know, how we feel now. The future will work out somehow. Let’s try friendship, companionship, doing fun things together. And let’s stop worrying so much.” He bent his head, needing to kiss her again, but her hand on his chest held him at bay.
“You’re going way too fast for me. We’ve just met and—”
“And we just kissed,” he said, interrupting her protests. “And nothing, nothing will ever be the same again. For either of us.”
She released an exasperated sigh. “You’re an incurable romantic, I see. Life isn’t that simple. We don’t all live happily ever after because we’re attracted to someone. I should know. I vowed two years ago that I’d never buy into that impossible dream again. Apparently you haven’t had to face life’s harsher realities yet.”
It wasn’t the way he’d intended to tell her, if at all. His difficult youth and more recent ordeal were, in fact, things he rarely mentioned. But apparently she thought he was the fair-haired prince born with a silver spoon who’d led a charmed life. He had to let her know.
“I suppose you’re right,” he said, stepping back. “I probably haven’t had too many harsh realities. Unless you’d call being born to two alcoholics who did me a big favor by abandoning me at age ten, although living on the streets for four years wasn’t exactly a day at the beach. Then there was a more recent incident where a couple of Simon’s men kidnapped me, buried me alive and left me to die there. Other than that, my life’s been a breeze.”
The shocked look on her face made him wish he hadn’t been quite so flip. But he wanted her to stop thinking of him as some pampered, privileged person.
“Oh, God, Jeff. Abandoned. Buried alive. I had no idea.”
“And I didn’t want to bring it up, but I need you to realize that we all have stuff in our past that makes us who we are. I’m well aware life isn’t simple and that we can’t all live happily ever after. But when someone comes along who touches us, I think it’s a mistake not to pursue that. Do you see where I’m coming from?”
She looked as if she wanted to ask more questions, but then seemed to decide now wasn’t the time. “Yes, I do.”
He shifted her closer back into his arms. “Good because you can run from me, but you can’t hide.”
Finally, her smile was genuine. “I don’t want to run or hide from you. But I would like to ask you something.”
“Anything,” he said and meant it.
“Would you kiss me like that again?”
“Oh, lady,” Jeff murmured as he lowered his mouth to hers.
They hung around the horse barn a while longer, lingering over kisses that set their blood heating. Only the night clerk was awake downstairs when they’d finally made their way into the main building, the lights on low. His arm around her shoulders, Jeff walked Tish to her room, where they both paused in the dim hallway.
“I don’t want to let you go,” Jeff whispered, his hands on her waist, his lips nuzzling her neck.
Tish seemed to be struggling, wanting to be with him yet feeling she shouldn’t begin something she couldn’t finish. “Me, either,” she finally admitted.
He eased back and studied her fine features now that his eyes had adjusted to the near darkness. “You seem afraid. Why?”
“Because I’m getting in too deep too quickly, something I promised myself I’d never do again.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Maybe if she told him about the person who’d hurt her, she’d feel better. They could go into her room, talk in the sitting area, though it might tax his resolve to not touch her.
“No,” she said quickly. Then more softly, “No. Maybe one day, but not now.” She raised a hand to touch his hair, then trailed her fingertips along his cheeks and chin. Leaning back, her gaze stayed on his face. “You have the most incredible green eyes. It’s the first thing I noticed about you.”
“Not my manly physique?”
She smiled. “That’s not bad, either, but, no, your eyes. They’re such a vibrant shade in the daylight, then they turn to emerald at night. I admit that I’m jealous.”
“You needn’t be. Your eyes could be any color and still be beautiful.”
Her expression turned shy. “I wasn’t fishing.”
“I know. Still, I have to tell you, it wasn’t your eyes I noticed first.”
Suddenly wary, she looked up. “All right, tell me what.”
“The way you rode that mare, like the two of you were one. You impressed me and everyone else watching. Where’d you learn to ride like that?” It seemed to Jeff that a shadow crossed over her features, then was gone just as quickly.
“Upstate New York where I was raised. My family belonged to a country club and a hunt club. By the time I was ten, I was competing.”
“Ah, the blue bloods. I suppose you went to Ivy League schools. Must be nice, dear old Dad having tons of money.” This time he couldn’t mistake the frosty look that she struggled to hide.
She turned within his arms, dug out her key and unlocked her door. “I should say good night.”
He’d hit a nerve, Jeff decided. Something else to delve into another day. The past clings to all of us, he knew.