successful, but Sam had worked hard to keep the large ranch house, surrounding lawn and outbuildings in pristine condition.
As Nick got his first glimpse of home, his heart dropped to his feet as he realized it was far worse than what he’d expected. Despite the summer heat, the lawn was a jungle of overgrown weeds and brush. A tractor-style mower sat amid the mess, as if at some point the operator had simply given up on any attempt to restore order.
Nick got out of his truck, momentarily overwhelmed by the neglect around him. Obviously Cherry’s death had yielded far-reaching effects that none of them could have ever foreseen.
For just a minute Nick wanted to jump back into his truck and drive as fast as he could back to his uncomplicated life in Texas. Run...avoid...escape painful and difficult things. That’s what he’d done on the day of Cherry’s funeral. But, that was the man he’d been two years ago. That wasn’t the man he was now.
Straightening his shoulders, he headed for the stairs leading up to the front porch, noting that one of the handrails was missing.
He opened the front door and his nose was instantly assailed by the odors of overripe fruit, dirty socks and sour booze.
“Hello?” he called. “Adam...are you here?”
“In the kitchen,” a deep voice returned.
Nick found his older brother seated at the kitchen table, his fingers curled around a coffee mug and his bloodshot blue eyes narrowed to near slits. “So, the prodigal son has finally come home.” There was a touch of censure in Adam’s voice that Nick ignored.
As Nick went to the cabinet to grab a mug, he tried to ignore the mound of dirty dishes in the sink and the garbage bag that overflowed onto the floor. “Is that coffee fresh?”
Adam nodded. “I made it about an hour ago when I finally decided to get out of bed.”
Nick poured his coffee and then sat in the chair opposite his brother. “Been spending a lot of time in bed?”
“In bed or drunk.” Adam raised his chin as if in defiance.
“Sounds productive.” Nick took a sip of the strong coffee and held his brother’s gaze above the rim of his cup. Adam was thirty-three, but at the moment he looked ten years older.
“You should have been here, Nick.” Adam finally broke the gaze and instead stared at some point over Nick’s shoulder. “You should have stuck around after Cherry died, then maybe you would have seen the sickness in Sam, the sickness I didn’t see.”
Nick sat back in his chair, surprised as he continued to look at his brother. “Surely you aren’t blaming yourself for what Sam has done?”
Adam raked a hand through his thick, dark, unruly hair. “I should have seen that he was sick, that he was howl-at-the-moon crazy. He and I were so close. If I’d known how he felt I might have been able to stop him. But somehow I missed something, and now there’s nothing left of our family. Cherry is gone, Sam has disgraced us all and there’s nothing left.”
“There’s you and me,” Nick replied. “Adam, you’ve got to pull yourself up out of this funk and get back to the job of taking care of this place, taking care of yourself.”
Adam shoved back from the table. “I don’t want to hear you telling me what I have to do. You ran out on us. I figure you’ll be here for a week or two and when you realize how tough it is to live in a small town where everyone’s talking about your family, when things get just a little bit too hard, then you’ll do what you always do—you’ll run out again. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a bottle of whiskey waiting for me in my room.”
As Adam left the kitchen, Nick remained at the table. Yes, it was definitely worse than he thought. He and Adam had never been particularly close. Sam had been thirty-four and Adam thirty-one when Nick had left town. The two older brothers had always aligned with each other, while Cherry and Nick had bonded together as the younger siblings.
He finished his coffee, rinsed his cup and then went outside, deciding the dishes and the other kitchen cleanup could wait until later. He headed for the stables in the distance, wanting to ride the pastures and check out the livestock.
Surely Adam hadn’t fallen so deep into the bottom of the bottle and his depression that he hadn’t been feeding and caring for the horses and the cattle that provided their livelihood.
He sighed in relief as he walked into the stable and saw that all the horses were in good shape. It took him only minutes to saddle up his old mount, Diamond, and head to the distant pastures.
As he rode with the heat of the sun on his shoulders, he finally began to relax, but he couldn’t help the way his thoughts went back to Courtney. He’d been so shocked to see her working in the café.
As the horse rocked him in the saddle, he thought of the last time they’d been together. It had been hours after he’d learned that his sister had died, and he’d needed Courtney’s warmth, her life force and energy to take away the icy-cold grip of grief.
When he’d left Grady Gulch on the day of Cherry’s funeral, he had no plans to stay away for as long as he had. It had just happened. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and suddenly two years had passed.
A hundred times...no, maybe a thousand times in the time he’d been gone, he’d stared at his cell phone and mentally punched in Courtney’s number, just wanting to hear the sound of her voice, to feel some sort of connection with her.
For months after he’d left Grady Gulch, Courtney had been like the phantom limb of an amputee. But with each day that had passed, it had gotten a little easier to stop himself from contacting her.
After all, he’d always been her dirty little secret, a walk on the wild side that she’d kept private from everyone in her life. The promises they’d made to each other to love one another forever, to eventually marry and have a family together, had been nothing more than silly fantasies they’d spin in moments of happy delusion and sexual satisfaction. The promises, the love, all of it had never left the abandoned Yates barn.
She had been the princess of Evanston, and he’d been the bad-boy cowboy from Grady Gulch, never welcomed to her home, never even introduced to her family or friends, but rather hidden in the shadows of the old barn.
He pushed Diamond a little harder as a slight edge of anger rose up inside him. He’d wanted so much more from Courtney, but she’d been so afraid of what her parents would think, so worried about how the people of her hometown would react if she hooked up with one of the wild Benson brothers who were and always would be nothing more than ranching cowboys.
Consciously shoving thoughts of Courtney out of his mind, he breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the herd of cattle in the distance. Even from this vantage point he could tell they looked healthy and happy. At least Adam had been tending the livestock, even if he hadn’t been tending to himself.
He turned his horse around and headed back to the house. Adam was still holed up in his bedroom, and Nick didn’t bother trying to get him out.
The drive from Texas, along with the stress of seeing both Courtney and the neglected house, had exhausted him. He took a long hot shower, and even though it was early, he went to the bedroom that had been his before he’d left town.
Although his intention was just to rest for a while and then get up and get some work done, he fell into a deep sleep. His dreams were of Courtney and the magical seven months they’d spent together. Laughter, lovemaking and spinning fantasies had filled their time.
He awoke with the morning light, the faint taste of bitterness and regret in his mouth. He’d known from the beginning that she wasn’t his to keep; there had just been moments in the past when he’d forgotten that fact.
Adam wasn’t up yet and Nick had a feeling he wouldn’t be for some time, so around seven Nick headed for the Cowboy Café and a hearty breakfast to start his day. As he drove he thought about the dreams he’d had the night before and reminded