young or athletic. Today the most established domains for coaching are in the executive suites of some of America’s largest corporations. In the United States, more than five thousand executive coaches help CEOs and other leaders to improve their performance, impact and capacities and to handle the pressure cooker of the executive suite without sacrificing their families and health.
Of course, executive coaches are not limited to helping executives. Indeed, many of the people I’ve worked with were individuals trying to either get to the top of their field or on top of some other aspect of their lives. Coaches help clients navigate life transitions or realize lifelong goals and dreams. Wellness coaches work with people to improve their health and well-being in a way that lasts.
No matter whether we’re helping Fortune 500 executives balance their lives or middle-aged sedentary individuals manage their health, the process and the tools we coaches use are often similar. In a nutshell, we help people organize their brains for change. I help you achieve clarity, choose a focus, build a plan, and embark upon and complete the journey of change. Doing this requires an understanding of how the brain works, and because of that, the best coaches have strong foundations in psychology and neuroscience. In particular, we are interested in the psychology of change. Research suggests that this work—the work of change—involves the activation and organization of the prefrontal cortex of the brain or, as Harvard psychiatrist and author John Ratey calls it, the “thinking CEO” region. Coaching also works on the limbic system, the home of our emotions. Coaches help clients increase positive emotions and better manage or decrease negte emotions, which increases the likelihood of success. Positive psychology research has proven that positivity, or increased positive emotions, opens and broadens our thinking and increases our resilience and capacity to change.
As a coach, my specialty is inspiring and facilitating the process of change—and that’s what I intend to do with you in the pages of this book.
I am here to help you make the changes that will enable you to get a better handle on your life—to get your life better organized and to help you become more attentive, focused, and less distracted. My job is to prepare and guide you through this journey. I will help you motivate yourself (the only kind of motivation that works). I will help you identify and mobilize the resources you need. I will try to build your confidence so that you can complete this journey. I will keep watch for the obstacles and hazards along your journey—the kinds of things that can derail the change journey—and help you steer clear of them or get back on your feet when you fall back.
Of course, while I can show you the way, I can’t take the journey for you. Making change is work; it takes time and commitment. The fact that you are reading this book suggests that you have already taken an important first step on that journey.
In the previous chapter, Dr. Hammerness identified and explained the Rules of Order, the traits demonstrated by individuals who are functioning at a high level of organization and productivity. So there you have the “what to do”—what you need to do in order to become the person who is on top of things in your life. Now comes the “how to do it” part.
As I’ve said, getting better organized and more focused is a process of change. And like any change in your behavior, whether it’s losing weight or quitting smoking, it’s going to require a certain mind-set. In order to achieve that mind-set, and to begin to get a better handle on your life and the changes needed to feel less frenzied and more in control, I’d like to share some tips with you, based on my knowledge and experience as a coach.
YOU’RE THE BOSS
Enough for a moment about Dr. Hammerness and Coach Meg and about Rules of Order and action plans. Let’s put the spotlight on you.
As discussed earlier, humans are wired to want to be in control and resist being changed by others. It manifests itself early—witness an infant’s need to assert even a modicum of control by refusing to eat his mushy carrots. It reaches another peak when a parent reaches her elder years and heartily resists the advice of her children.
It’s up to you to decide that you want to have a better organized life—and that, in doing so, you need to some degree to change the way you use your brain. Maybe your spouse bought you this book in the hopes that you won’t lose another pair of expensive sunglasses or forget that you left the pot of water boiling on the stove. That’s fine; it is still up to you to decide to change—and on your terms. Forget what others are telling you that you need to work on. You’re in charge. You choose.
We have spotlighted some of the key principles of organization and focus (our Rules of Order) to help give you the language, a reference point, a starting point. Ultimately, though, the ability to incorporate, to some degree or another, all six principles will go a long way toward improving the organization of your life, but that doesn’t mean you have to master all six. Again, you’re the one best suited to know.
GET CLEAR ON YOUR PRIORITIES
You can’t change many things at the same time; you’re not likely to change any if you’re using up all of your bandwidth at this moment. Unlike the cable modem that can seemingly accommodate unlimited data, pictures and text, your personal capacity to handle data and stimuli has its boundaries. You may know that you need to get better organized at some point, but your first priority may be to help a colleague through a crisis or care for a sick family member. Know that you can put the book down and come back to it later—you may have more important priorities right now.
But let’s say that getting better organized feels like the top priority right now. You’re sick and tired of feeling distracted and disorganized during the day and worrying that not much got done by the end of the day. You feel it’s time to get beyond the struggle that has plagued you for years.
Now you have some choices. Dr. Hammerness has presented his Rules of Order—those six areas where you can work on improving the organization of your brain. Reflect on and assess your mastery or lack of talent or skill for each of the six dimensions of an organized brain. Celebrate and be grateful for the dimensions where you are in good shape, either because you inherited good genes or you had an amazing parent or teacher who patiently and relentlessly helped you build that dimension. Appreciate that you can enlist the dimensions where you are strong to help you improve on the weaker ones.
Choose what, when and how to change carefully and thoughtfully. Success begets success. Failure will damage your confidence and bring negativity.
Although several areas may be calling for attention, it’s important to pick the area that will set the dominos in motion, the area where you can make good progress quickly and build confidence in working on other tougher areas.
Which area might set in motion a domino effect (like unblocking a blockage)? Which would make your life better and open up new possibilities? Which one of these principles sounds like something doable to you? (When facing a number of changes, it’s often a good idea to build your confidence by tackling the one that seems the one you can do with the highest probability of success.) Which area are you drawn to? Which feels like a good pain that is beckoning to be eased?
Rate each area’s importance to you (out of 10) and your confidence in being successful (out of 10)—start with the area that has the highest score and, even better, a score of at least 6 on both ratings.
Let’s say you’ve had a problem staying with one thing—a project at work or even a book you’re trying to read. Then learning how to “sustain focus” might rate a high score. Or perhaps you purchased this book because your spouse has pointed out your inability to stop what you’re doing and attend to something else without getting flustered. Maybe you’ve noticed that you get angry and frustrated and curse or bang on the computer keyboard whenever unwanted e-mails pop up, distracting you from what you’re doing, and you’re not sure whether to jump off what you’re doing and address the e-mails or finish the task at hand. A smashed keyboard would certainly suggest a 10!
IGNITE YOUR MOTIVATION—THE JET FUEL FOR THE CHANGE JOURNEY
Your motivation is the jet fuel for the journey of change—the hotter it burns, the more likely it will get you through unavoidable and unpredictable setbacks, moments of doubt and any other