me into her home was that she couldn’t do it all by herself and she needed help. Together, we came up with a plan of which areas were in most urgent need of decluttering and got down to business. To her immense surprise and relief, we had so much fun. While we worked, she played songs by Prince, her favourite artist, and she sang, danced, cried, hugged me and stepped back in amazement – all because she could feel her worries disappearing as a huge weight was lifted off her mind.
This was when I truly realised the huge impact that decluttering can have and it made me excited and motivated to help even more people.
There’s no need to feel guilty or harbour a sense of failure because you’re asking someone else to help you declutter. It’s often much more effective to hand a problem over to someone who isn’t personally involved and can tackle it more dispassionately. It’s all too easy to get sentimental and overemotional when you have to make decisions about ditching your belongings.
Comparing yourself to others is a natural thing to do, especially when things aren’t going your way and if you have friends who appear to take it all in their stride. But you need to remember that we all lose our sh*t at times, and some of us just hide it better than others. As my grandma Lottie always used to say, ‘The grass isn’t greener on the other side; it’s greener where you water it.’ And how right she was! So let’s all do our best not to compare and to embrace what we have. Be happy and never be afraid to ask for help or to offer to help others who need it. Most importantly, always be kind to you.
Getting Started
Of course, you may not need me on hand to get started. You may feel that the time has come for you to roll up your sleeves and have a go yourself. So once you’ve decided to take the plunge, the key is to analyse the problem, figure out a plan and work through it gradually, one task at a time, embracing the process and going about it in an orderly, methodical way.
1 Grab yourself a pad of paper and a pen and begin by writing a to-do list for every room in your home, noting down all the items you’d like to declutter from each one (more about this in Chapter 2).
2 If you feel you need help, ask a family member or a friend. Feeling supported and getting a second opinion is beneficial and makes the whole process much easier.
3 Once you’ve decided on a plan, set aside an hour a day or however long you can spare for decluttering and tick the jobs off your list as you go along, tackling one room at a time.
One step at a time
Don’t try to do too much too soon. If you do, at some point the task will overwhelm you and that could put you off continuing. Starting small is better than not starting at all. So take it a step at a time and celebrate the little ‘wins’ and positives as you go along. Don’t rush it – this is a long-term, lifelong process, not a quick fix or makeover. Decluttering can radically change your life and lead to better, more sustainable habits and a new mindset.
Big challenges can be intimidating, so turn them into measurable goals – say, 30 minutes a day – and you’ll be blown away by how much you can achieve. Start to self-love and self-praise: tell yourself you’re doing your best. Then nothing is impossible.
TGCO Top Tip
Don’t be disheartened if it takes longer than you expected. Remember that even one tick is better than none. Decluttering can take time and there’s no need to rush.
Take Back Control
By using my simple method you’ll soon start to feel a sense of achievement and satisfaction as you take back control of your life and introduce more order into your home. This, in turn, will motivate you to move on to the next task or room and the time you spend decluttering will become a pleasure rather than a chore. My mum always says that it refreshes your home, your mind and your overall wellbeing, and she’s right: you’ll feel much happier living in an environment that isn’t crammed with clutter and items you don’t use. It’s liberating and empowering to purge the stuff you don’t want or need any more. It makes you want to smile and gives you the space to breathe, to be calm and to focus on what’s important for you.
We all have too much stuff, and removing or reducing the number of items that no longer have any purpose and don’t make you happy will give you untold satisfaction. It feels great to be happy with what you have and not feel the need to accumulate. Getting rid of personal belongings can be tricky, especially if they are associated with good memories, but there’s no point hanging on to something just because you ‘might need it some day’. If you haven’t used it or worn it for years or it still has the original labels and tags attached, it’s time to chuck it, even if you feel an attachment to it.
Start to self-love and self-praise: tell yourself you’re doing your best. Then nothing is impossible.
Saving things ‘for best’
How many times have we all used the phrase, ‘save it for best’, whether it’s fancy underwear, expensive shoes, a posh dress or the finest champagne flutes? And how do you know when ‘best’ actually is?
I’ve seen so many items in people’s homes, especially designer handbags, shoes, belts and clothes, that don’t get used or worn on a regular basis because they are being ‘saved for best’. And when I ask my clients what that actually means, their answers usually focus on the items’ cost.
When we’re out shopping for ‘best’ items, we get excited about the whole experience: the location, the styling of the store, the service, the wrapping, handing over the money and the luxurious branded bag. These are all part of the company’s plan to make us feel special and to enjoy our new ‘best’ item. However, once we bring it safely home, it all too often gets stored in a bag on a shelf in our wardrobe. Out of sight and out of mind.
Change this next time you treat yourself to something special: gaze at it and smile … you’ve had a wonderful experience and now it’s time to enjoy your purchase and show it off to the world. Every day should be your ‘best’ day, so use the good stuff you’ve worked hard for; have fun and enjoy wearing or using it to the full. As Kate, one of my clients, put it:
Imagine going shopping in the sales at a huge bargain-basement department store. There’s stuff everywhere, but among all the confusion you find some amazing pieces. And you pick up things that would be perfect for your friends, family and charities – it feels so good to give. Afterwards, you go home, and everything is so calm and all the items you found are so beautiful and just right. You relax, but then you realise that you weren’t charged for any of them. Having TGCO has made me take a fresh look at my home and all my treasures. I don’t miss anything I’ve discarded or given away, and I feel so calm and grateful for everything I have. It’s freed my mind to be creative again.
It’s OK to have a wobbly day
None of us is immune to a wobble – even TGCO has the odd moment. Life is full of highs and lows, but a wobbly day doesn’t mean you’re going down again. On the contrary: it’s just a wobbly day and they happen to us all from time to time – you’re not alone. Talking to someone (close friends and family can be very supportive), shedding a few tears or writing down how you feel can all help (as does my favourite – lemon meringue pie!). But try to keep things in perspective and remember what’s important, and things won’t seem so bad.
Don’t wait for a better today, make today better.
TGCO Top Tip
If you can’t allocate time every day to clean and tidy, don’t worry. Find a decluttering solution that works for you and your daily routine. For example, tackle the small, achievable tasks first before moving on to the more difficult or time-consuming ones. Working in this way, you’ll be able to tick more jobs off your to-do list and you’ll feel really good about yourself and the progress you’re making. You’ll be back in control