Derek Landy

Skulduggery Pleasant


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      “Mr Darkly,” a man said from behind. Right before he turned, Omen thought it was Peccant speaking, but it wasn’t.

      It was Skulduggery Pleasant. Skulduggery Pleasant was standing there, speaking. Beside Skulduggery Pleasant stood Valkyrie Cain. Valkyrie Cain stood beside Skulduggery Pleasant, and they stood there, looking at Omen, and Omen stood there, looking at them and trying his very best not to geek out.

       7

      “I’m your biggest fan,” Omen said before he could stop himself.

      Skulduggery Pleasant’s head tilted. “Thank you,” he said. He was wearing the coolest suit Omen had ever seen, and he was a skeleton. Omen had known this, of course he had, but there was a world of difference between knowing there existed a living skeleton and actually seeing him in front of you. There were no wires or strings keeping the bones together, at least none that Omen could see. He was tall, and the brim of his hat dipped low over his eye sockets.

      Valkyrie Cain – the Valkyrie Cain – was almost as tall as Skulduggery, and prettier than she appeared in the photographs he’d seen – and she appeared plenty pretty in the photographs. Her black hair was a little longer. She was bigger, too. Slim, but beneath her jacket her shoulders were wide. It was weird seeing her in jeans. Like she was out of uniform.

      “My name is Skulduggery Pleasant. This is my associate, Valkyrie Cain.”

      “Hello,” Omen said. He sounded reasonably calm, which surprised him. His voice didn’t break, which delighted him. This was a good start, but he could feel the excitement bubbling up from his chest. He hiccuped. “Excuse me,” he said.

      “Your name was given to us by one of your teachers,” Skulduggery continued. “Apparently, you are someone we could possibly trust with sensitive information. We need your help, quite frankly.”

      Omen nodded. Then frowned. Then tried to smile. Then looked confused.

      “This world faces a threat,” Skulduggery went on, “and we think you may be able to help us stop it.”

      “Oh,” said Omen, it all suddenly making sense. “No, sorry, you’ve got the wrong brother. I’m Omen Darkly. You want Auger Darkly – he’s the Chosen One.”

      “We haven’t made a mistake, Omen. It’s you we want.”

      A frown creased Omen’s forehead once more. “Why?”

      “Your brother would draw too much attention,” Valkyrie said. “From what I’ve heard, people notice when he walks by. We need someone who disappears in a crowd.”

      Omen smiled widely. “That does sound like me.”

      “What we’re about to ask you to do shouldn’t be dangerous,” Skulduggery said, “but, if it turns out that way, your skills could come in useful.”

      My skills? Omen thought.

      “My skills?” Omen said.

      “Your brother has received the best combat training available anywhere since he was four years old. You help prepare him, don’t you?”

      “I’ve … I’ve trained with him since we were kids, yes. What’s this about, please?”

      They came forward. Omen had to resist the urge to step back.

      “There is an organisation,” Skulduggery said, “which doesn’t have a name. We’ve been hearing rumours about it for years, an anti-Sanctuary, designed to sow the seeds of chaos and discord around the world and, ultimately, force a war between sorcerers and mortals – a war that sorcerers, presumably, would win, though not without heavy cost. We don’t know who’s in charge. We don’t know where it’s based. We don’t know how many agents it has or how powerful it may be. What we do know is that it’s been working behind the scenes for decades. We have had run-ins with only three people who we suspect were directly connected to it. The first was a man called Bubba Moon, who claimed to have been visited by a ‘being of wonderment and awe’, demanding blood sacrifice. The next two were a couple of killers with a mission to complete – Cadaverous Gant and Jeremiah Wallow.”

      “What was their mission?” Omen asked.

      “To kill me,” said Valkyrie.

      “Oh.”

      “Out of those three individuals,” Skulduggery continued, “all were American, and only Gant is alive and at large. Whether their nationality is a coincidence or means something more, I can’t say yet. In the last three years, however, the rumours I’ve been hearing have intensified. Apparently, the anti-Sanctuary is now operating out of Roarhaven.”

      “OK.” Omen tried smiling again. “I still don’t know what you want with me, though.”

      “An associate of mine went undercover,” Skulduggery said. “Temper Fray. He infiltrated a group of sorcerers who talk about mortals like they’re vermin. He befriended them, and started giving me names. Melior. Smoke. Lethe. Then he disappeared.”

      Omen stared. “Is he dead?”

      Skulduggery tilted his head. “Hopefully not. Before he vanished, Temper became convinced that the anti-Sanctuary had someone inside Corrival Academy recruiting young and impressionable students.”

      “Oh my God,” said Omen. “You want me to go undercover.”

      “Yes.”

      “Even though the last person you sent undercover got killed.”

      “Temper might still be alive,” Skulduggery said, sounding irritated.

      “Oh, right, yes, of course. Sorry. But you do want me to go undercover, yes?”

      “That’s correct.”

      Omen looked at them both, and completely failed to stop the stupid grin from crawling across his face.

      “Dear God,” Skulduggery said. “You look demented.”

      “I’m just really excited.”

      “It’s getting freaky,” said Valkyrie. “Quit it.”

      “I can’t. I don’t know how.”

      “We’re not asking you to take any risks,” Skulduggery said. “We’re asking you to keep your eyes and ears open. Are any of your fellow students acting suspiciously? Are they congregating at unusual times, in unusual places? Your teachers – are they acting normally? Do any of them seem unusually angry?”

      “Mr Peccant is usually unusually angry,” Omen said at once. “Usually at me.”

      “I’ll investigate Mr Peccant, don’t worry,” Skulduggery said, “but I’ll need you to focus here, OK? Any behaviour that strikes you as out of the ordinary. That’s what you need to be looking for.”

      “And then what?”

      “Then you tell us,” said Valkyrie.

      Omen nodded. “OK, yeah. And then what?”

      Skulduggery and Valkyrie looked at each other.

      “I don’t understand,” said Skulduggery.

      “Like, do I come with you, then?” Omen asked. “Do I still have to go to school, or will you give me a note to get out of classes or something? I mean, I’d use my reflection, but the teachers can always tell, and little alarms go off sometimes.”

      Valkyrie held up her hand. “Wait, hold on. We’re asking you to snoop around this school. That’s it. That’s all we’re asking, and that’s all you’re going to be doing.”

      “But … but you might need me. For stuff after.”