Andrew Gilbrook

An Ordinary Guy, Operation Saponify


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      “No promises,” I said.

      “I believe you will discover the truth, I have faith in your abilities,” Jenny flattered me.

      “I have no expertise in detective work,” I added.

      “Karen, could you copy all this folder, we need to get it back to where it should be,” I raised my voice toward the now professional secretary in the other room. I handed the folder to Jenny who took it to Karen.

      “Jenny, when Karen is done with this file can you return it unnoticed to where it’s supposed to be, as it should be”

      “Sure,” Jenny replied

      “Karen when you are done, I’ll delete the photocopier hard drive, you never know, in this place someone may be making copies of our copies,” I halfjoked but I wanted to be sure to leave no trace.

      “Thank you Andy,” Jenny seemed happier now, I couldn’t imagine what this news meant to her and her family.

      “I’ll keep you updated, should I find anything, but promise me not to reveal anything to anyone until I say my work is complete ok?”

      “I promise,” with that Jenny left my room and went to say goodbye to Karen next door. I sat back thinking about how to go about this. As soon as Jenny left the office, I asked Karen to come back.

      “Karen, I need Jenny’s personal file,” I requested.

      “I trust her, don’t you? She has been fully background checked, she’s worked here for years,” Karen said accusingly because I was doubting her best friend.

      “Karen, what she is asking me to do is the work of Israel’s Mossad or the Nazi Hunters or any other kind of anti-Nazi group. To seek the truth, and to find escaped Nazis and the biggest prize of all, to find Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun as according to these files he may be still alive. I have to check her out, right now, I think she may be an infiltrator, think about it, you’ve seen the files, and, where has this file come from? I find it very odd indeed it has no routing attached to it.”

      Karen looked hurt that I didn’t trust her best friend. “I’ll get it but you’ll see she is legitimate, even you have to see this is really important incredible stuff, we are best friends and I think I know her well enough,”

      “I have to double-check her background Karen I’m sorry,” I tried to assure her, I had the best intentions for everyone, including discovering spies within MI6.

      “Oh and Karen,”

      “Yes?” Karen sounded hurt

      “I love you and never forget it,”

      “I love you too Andy,”

      Karen took the file and began copying the contents taking care to replace each file in the exact order they came from the folder. I sat pondering where to start and how to go about this project.

      Karen came back, the copying finished and the file locked away in her drawer again, she handed me an unmarked folder containing all the copies she just made. I stood up to place the folder in my safe

      “Andy can you stay tonight? I’ll make some dinner. I miss you”

      “I can’t Karen, I’m so sorry, I wish I could but I’m out tonight. Of course, I’d rather be with you”

      “Anywhere nice?” She enquired in her hurt voice again,

      “Sally Lunn’s restaurant in St. Albans. There’s a group of about ten of us going. I can’t drop out now, I’ll have to give them a reason. I wish there was a way that you could join me, but you know it would be awkward to explain who you are.” I needed to keep my job a secret, I’d much prefer to be with Karen and I hated myself for turning her down.

      With that Karen walked right up to me wrapped her arms around my neck, her face next to mine she whispered in my ear

      “Then do me now”

      “What?” I replied surprised.

      “Right here and now, do me” damn this sexy woman, I couldn’t resist her, I kissed her on the lips, her breasts pressing into my chest, I felt so good. Our lust grew, we kissed passionately, we were safe in the office on this Saturday morning. Very few people were around and no one was likely to disturb us. As we kissed, clothes were removed and dropped onto the floor and we made a move for the sofa. In no time at all, we were both naked and enjoying our intertwined bodies together. Her legs wrapped around my waist encouraging me to enter her. The love and passion we had for each other showed in the way we moved and the lovemaking went on for some time. As we turned again for a different sex position I felt Karen freeze,

      “What happened, cramp?” No, stood inside the office, the door having silently opened and closed was Jenny, arms folded, her weight on her right leg while her left foot tapped the floor like a cross teacher. Now I froze too.

      “I came back to ask Andy if he would like to work out with me, maybe spot some weights for me. I see though, you’re already having a workout,” she said trying to stifle a giggle and to look sternly at us both naked on the sofa, legs and bits dangling over the side, my manhood disappearing like a tortoise had been tapped on the nose.

      “Ermm, another time perhaps?” was all I could muster.

      “Another time then,” she spoke to me “and you madam, I’ll talk to you later,” pointing at Karen. She left as easily and unembarrassed as she had arrived muttering as she went, “That’s what happens when you talk about my boobs, you get all horny and you can’t help yourselves,” she disappeared through the door closing it behind her.

      Karen and I burst out laughing, giggling like school kids, caught and guilty.

      “How long had she been there?”

      I asked Karen “I have no idea, goodness only knows what she’s seen standing at the foot of the sofa,”

      “Most people would have opened the door, seen what was going on and left quietly closing the door behind them, but she, Jenny, just came in and stood there watching!” I exclaimed.

      We were both laughing with embarrassment, we couldn’t stop, laughing while we gathered our clothes together and got ourselves dressed.

      “I think she is jealous, she hasn’t had any sex for ages,” Karen theorised.

      “Really? I replied, “She is such an attractive girl, I can’t believe she can’t get any when she wants it, or even find a nice boyfriend,.”

      Karen informed me,

      “We share everything at home, we talk about everything, we are best friends in every sense, so close that even our periods have synchronised,”

      “Is that a thing?” I asked, having never heard of this phenomenon.

      “Apparently so,” Karen responded

      “Must be bad news for the Sheik and his harem” I tried to make light of my embarrassment.

      I added, “But you see that strengthens my worry that she may be Mossad or something, she has no boyfriend, no place of her own, her set up is quite temporary, how long has she lived with you?” I asked

      “Must be four years by now, that’s not so temporary,” Karen was sure her friend was legitimate.

      “But don’t you see, she arrives and you take her as a lodger almost at the same time you become my secretary, give or take a few months. Doesn’t that strike you as odd?”

      Karen went back to work looking slightly miffed, our lovemaking was not finished, but the coitus interruptus by Jenny had ruined the moment. I sat at my desk and decided, as I had a few hours before I needed to get home to change and drive to St. Albans, to join my friends on our evening out, that I would spend a little time setting about my new job as a detective. I retrieved the folder I had just placed in the safe and sat again at my desk. Now I looked at the copies of the documents