Dana Sue. It’s been a tough night at the restaurant.” Maddie headed for the sofa and sank into its cushions. “I hope you two can drag me up when it’s time to go, but right now this feels heavenly.”
“We’ll manage,” Helen assured her, then studied Dana Sue and saw that she did, indeed, look more frazzled than usual. “What happened at the restaurant tonight?”
“Karen bailed again. Fortunately she was able to get that friend of hers, Tess, to come in, but in some ways that just complicated things.”
Helen’s stomach sank. “How so? Isn’t she any good?”
“She’s great. In fact, I think she’s going to work out just fine, but on-the-job training in the midst of the dinner rush is not exactly ideal. It took more time to explain how we do things than it would have for me or Erik just to do them ourselves.”
Helen regarded her with concern. “But you’re still going to give Karen’s idea a chance to work, right?”
Dana Sue nodded. “I promised we would, didn’t I?”
“I should call Karen and let her know,” Helen said. “I’m sure she’s terrified that you’re fed up with her and her problems.”
“I spoke to her a little while ago to tell her that we’re definitely hiring Tess and that things are okay,” Dana Sue told her. “You’re right. She was relieved.”
“Now let’s get back to you,” Maddie said, reminding Helen that she could be as single-minded as anyone on earth when she needed to be.
“How about something to drink?” Helen said. “Bottled water? Juice? Decaf coffee?”
“You’re not going to distract us,” Dana Sue said, looking amused. “You know us better than that. Maddie filled me in about the whole baby dilemma. Why don’t you get one of the million and one lists you’ve no doubt made and go over it with us? Maybe we can help you sort things out.”
“No,” Helen said flatly. “Maddie was right this morning, when she said this was something I need to work out for myself.”
Both women frowned at her.
“That was then,” Maddie said. “This is now.”
“You were crying,” Dana Sue said. “In public. That is so not like you. Obviously this is too much for you to deal with on your own.”
Helen sighed. “I’m stronger than you think.”
“I would have agreed with that before this morning,” Maddie said.
“Okay, look,” Dana Sue began. “Maddie mentioned that maybe you want more than just a baby. She says you’ve been reexamining your whole life and that you think you might want the whole family thing.”
“So what? You’re going to snap your fingers and get it for me?” Helen retorted, sorry she’d ever opened her big mouth.
“We could,” Dana Sue said. “In fact, if you would just open your eyes and see what’s staring you right in the face, you could have it all.”
Helen sighed. She’d seen this one coming a mile away. “Erik, I assume.”
“Well, of course, Erik,” Dana Sue said. “He’s smart. He’s gorgeous. And he’s hot for you.”
Maddie stared at her with obvious surprise. “Really? How did I miss that?”
“You’ve had other things on your mind,” Dana Sue said to Maddie. “You missed the kiss.”
“What kiss?” Maddie asked, clearly fascinated.
“Long story,” Dana Sue said. “Trust me, though it made me go home and throw myself at Ronnie.”
Helen moaned. “I am not having this conversation with you. And stop matchmaking. Erik and I are friends,” she said, then corrected herself. “Not even friends. We’re acquaintances.”
“Sweetie, if a man kisses you like that, you’re more than acquainted,” Dana Sue replied. “You’re about ten minutes away from falling into bed together.”
“Grace Wharton says Erik is a confirmed bachelor,” Helen countered.
“Nonsense,” Dana Sue said dismissively. “Just because she doesn’t have a line on his social life doesn’t mean he doesn’t have one.”
“If he has one, then what makes you think he has any interest in someone new?” Helen asked. “You can’t have it both ways. I think it would be best if you get over the whole idea of trying to shove Erik and me together. I know that’s why you’ve been coming up with all those excuses to have me pitch in at the restaurant. It’s not because you discovered I have hidden culinary talent.”
Dana Sue’s face was the picture of innocence. “We’ve been swamped every single time you’ve helped out, and you know it.”
“Then how come you never asked Maddie to pitch in? She actually knows how to cook. So does Ronnie, for that matter. You used to ask him.”
“Yes, why haven’t you asked me?” Maddie demanded.
“Because you’ve been pregnant off and on for most of the past two years,” Dana Sue answered. “You shouldn’t be on your feet. As for Ronnie, what little spare time he has now that his hardware store has taken off, he needs to spend with Annie.”
“Yeah, right,” Helen said skeptically. “Face it, Dana Sue. I know what you’re up to and I’m telling you right now to cut it out.”
“But I think—” Dana Sue began.
“Don’t think. Go home to your husband and drag him off to bed. Maybe if you’re not feeling sex-deprived, you’ll stop worrying about my love life.”
“Trust me, not an issue,” Dana Sue said, her cheeks flushed. “You’re my friend. I want you to be as happy as I am.”
“Me, too,” Maddie said.
“Then, please, just lay off about Erik and about me having a baby. I’ll work this out for myself when the time is right.”
“We just don’t want you to wake up when you hit fifty and realize that you have all these huge regrets,” Maddie said. “The saddest question of all is ‘What if…?’”
“You mean like what if I’d never mentioned to the two of you that I thought I wanted a baby?” Helen said testily.
Maddie frowned at her. “No, I mean like what if I’d realized how much I wanted one before it was too late. You can’t go back, then, Helen.”
The aching emptiness deep inside Helen, the ache she’d been trying so hard lately to pretend wasn’t there, came back with a vengeance.
“Believe me, I know that,” she said quietly. “It’s not something I’m ever likely to forget, which is why I’m under so much pressure. I know I can’t take forever to make this decision.”
“Then get those lists of yours and let’s talk about all the pros and cons,” Dana Sue prodded.
“But…” Helen began, only to sigh when both woman regarded her with unyielding expressions. “Okay, fine. I’ll get the lists.”
She grabbed her briefcase and fished through it ’til she found the legal pad she’d reserved for just this particular topic. Page after page had been covered with her notes, including everything she’d been told by the obstetricians she’d consulted. Though she was filled with reservations about this entire conversation, she handed her notes to Maddie, whose eyes widened as she flipped through the pages.
“You could write a Ph.D. thesis with this much research,” Maddie said.
“I thought it was critical to be well-informed,” Helen replied defensively.
Dana