Chianti in Tuscany or a best-forgotten experience in Vegas (definitely not).
We will constantly remind you that it is not us nor anyone nor anything else that is able to apply rest into your experience of life. There is no magic to this, no superpowers required. Rest is not something that can be transferred from one person to another, or from anything onto you.
We know, though, that no amount of us telling you that the very essence of your being is always at peace, always OK and completely shatterproof will convince you of this fact. In order for you to believe us you will have to experience it for yourself.
In order to take this journey with us you have to be prepared to let go of the urge to make anything happen. You have to trust that you do not need to understand, work out or work through anything. You do not need to change, because you already are everything you will ever be: beneath everything, you are complete and unconditionally contented.
— To go on this journey with us you must be willing to do only one thing: nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
And you must absolutely not try to rest.
Trying, is not resting. Resting is doing nothing. It is being.
So, let’s try this. Let’s stop, let everything go (including any attempt to let things go), and begin.
Enquiry 1:
What happens if you do nothing?
We all struggle to stop, and then we convince ourselves that ‘stopping’ is something we must learn to do – an art to master. Stopping is, however, more of an exercise in un-learning, of learning not to resist the happenings of our mind, body and everything in between that invariably unravels when we stop. A course in meditation does not so much allow you to develop any skills, more, it gives you the support framework you might need in order to be still and merely be with whatever happens to you when you stop trying to do anything.
However, when most people sit for meditation there’s often a desire for some kind of technique, some ‘tricks’ to help you stop and feel OK about stopping. One of the most confounding and at the same time liberating ‘activities’ that we do on our retreats is ask attendees to sit for half an hour and do nothing. We are often explicit with this and assert that under no circumstances should there be any meditating. This often creates a lot of confusion, particularly for those who have an established meditation practice or other formal route into the experiences that can come from meditation. There is a degree of discomfort when we suggest not that their techniques don’t have purpose or are in any way wrong, but that it is possible that doing nothing can be as ‘effective’ as doing something.
On a recent retreat, after one of these ‘do nothing’ sessions, a participant shared their experience with the group, bemoaning that they were too distracted to do nothing – they could hear noise outside, became aware of their response to that noise, and then preoccupied by the thoughts that came after that. At this point a re-orientation was necessary and we asked the group to consider the possibility that although our attention wanders from thoughts to sounds to feelings and sensations, perhaps it’s not that we are doing any of this but more that it’s just happening. Doing nothing doesn’t mean nothing will happen.
— That we are doing nothing doesn’t mean we should expect stillness or silence or comfort.
Doing nothing is an act of allowing; it is effortless, though perhaps not easy. That said, once we can grasp this concept – that we need not do anything – the experience is then very relaxing. (It’s not that we’re trying to relax, it just happens as a result of letting go of all control and reactivity to our experience.) Letting everything be just as it is involves layers of letting go, until you happen to be letting everything be as it is, including your distinct inability to let everything be as it is. . .
- Prepare yourself to do nothing. You might want to turn off your phone, close your computer, shut the curtains, or do whatever it takes to reduce the likelihood of you being disturbed (or disturbing yourself)
- Make yourself comfortable, either sitting or lying down – whatever feels best for you. Make sure it is in a position that can remain comfortable for the entire time you’ll be resting, so if this means an ‘easy’ posture (relaxed in the armchair) then this is better than some kind of formal ‘meditation’ posture
- Now, in the same way that you’ve taken a physical posture in preparation for doing nothing, take a similar posture in your mind (however this may come to you)
- Stay with this posture. This means really not doing anything. Do not edit or control your experience in any way. Don’t watch the breath or count or think about a special something or someone. If you’re used to using a technique to help calm the mind or focus your thoughts, then we invite you to try giving it up and see what happens
- Drop your expectations and see if you can let go of any need for an outcome
- Notice how your mind will want to do so many other things and think so many thoughts. Just let that happen. You don’t have to do a thing
- If you find this really hard, start with just a minute or two and then build up slowly. Most people report a noticeable shift in their experience around the 20-minute mark, and again at 30 minutes. The enquiry will likely feel restless and noisy on and off before then
- Don’t worry if you can’t reach the 20-or 30-minute mark. Build your tolerance for nothing slowly over time
- Whenever you feel it is time to end this enquiry, mentally or physically mark the moment however you wish (a little stretch, a deep breath)
- As you ‘resurface’, notice what your immediate thoughts are about the enquiry, and then remind yourself that whatever your experience, you cannot have done anything wrong
- Notice how this period of ‘nothing’ impacts the rest of your day. What does ‘nothing’ bring to your life?
Rest is a naturally occurring phenomenon. It is the thing that happens between, behind and around all our experience. It is the space that appears, however fleetingly, between all of the activities, all of the stuff and all of the thoughts, and while we might not think it has any value, it is the glue that binds everything together.
By stopping and doing nothing for a while you can recover the ability to recognise this spaciousness and begin to feel spacious about life again.
Throughout this book we will be exploring the ‘you’ that exists beyond your thinking mind – the you that is part of the space between everything else. We will look at how rest is both a means to experience this aspect of your existence and also the results of being reminded of it.
In this and the following chapters we will consider the relationship between our feelings, experiences, rest, restfulness and this concept of ‘being’ over ‘doing’ – being in the moment, being aware, being mindful, being human (all the beings).
Along the way, we will come across many apparent contradictions and paradoxes. . . and then they will dissolve. . . so long as you don’t try to figure them out.
— We will go round in circles, and we will see that this was all part of the journey.
You’ve probably heard the expression, ‘at one with the everything’ or ‘at one with the universe’. It’s a phrase that seeks to capture that feeling of there being nothing in our experience that we wish to change. In these moments, we feel held, connected, resolved, at ease, open. There is no sense of conflict or resistance.
But in these moments, we are