“It will be. We’ll dance the night away—probably the last time that I’ll be able to call you Belle.”
A pregnant pause followed his words; and emotions they’d been denying simmered close to the surface.
“You can always call me Belle. Right now Josie doesn’t seem quite right.”
“But it will.” They both knew that and they both were feeling that pang of change.
“Maybe.” Her eyes held his. “You’ll call as soon as you find out something?”
“Yes, and try not to worry.” He turned and walked out before his strength gave way.
Outside he took a long breath. Josie Marie Beckett. Who are you? Do you have a husband, a lover waiting for you? Those two questions were uppermost in his mind and he hated himself for that selfish reaction. He got in his car and headed for his office to find out the truth about Belle, putting his emotions aside and concentrating on her and her future.
He just wished he could get rid of the knot in his stomach, a knot that told him he was about to lose everything he’d ever wanted. But he would deal with it like a man—the man she wanted him to be. If he preached to himself long enough and hard enough, he might be able to pull it off.
BELLE IMMEDIATELY CALLED Dr. Oliver and told her about the memory. As Caleb had said, Dr. Oliver reassured her and Belle felt better knowing that finally her memory was returning. She held her name in her heart like a sacred pledge, so afraid it was going to slip away like the rest of her memories. Although she had told Caleb, and he’d make sure her future would now unfold.
She would face the light and the fears inside her. It was long overdue. Someone had put a bullet in her head and left her on the streets of Austin to die. Who had caused her all this misery? And who had hated her that much? No matter how hard it would be, Caleb would help her find the truth. It was time to stop being afraid and embrace her life—whatever it had been.
She knew she was a good person and made friends easily. Caroline Coltrane, the wife of Eli, the ranger who’d rescued her, was a very good friend, and her sister, Grace, was, too. They met for lunch every now and then and Belle enjoyed their company and their friendship. She wondered what type of friends she had in her old life. Belle was beginning to drive herself crazy with all the wondering, so she went in search of Ms. Gertie. After all, she did have a job. Some days that was hard to remember because Ms. Gertie tended to pamper her. But she wasn’t an invalid and she’d made that plain from the start.
She found Gertie in the pool, floating and relaxing. Harry paddled around entertaining her. Prissy and Prudy lay on the tiled floor watching, but not daring to get in the water. The pool and the hot tub were enclosed, so Gertie swam daily year-round.
“Do you need me to do anything, Ms. Gertie?” she asked.
Instead of responding, she answered with a question. “Did you have a nice visit with Caleb?”
“Yes.” She sat in a pool chair and Prissy jumped onto her lap. She stroked the cat for a moment, listening to her purr. “I wasn’t aware you’d called him to be our escort for tomorrow night.”
“If I’d told you, you would have said not to bother him. But it’s unseemly for a woman to attend functions without a male escort.” She paused, splashing water on Harry. “And I’ve seen the way you look at him.”
Belle shifted uncomfortably. “Ms. Gertie, you know I can’t get involved with anyone. I don’t know who I am and that would be so unfair to Caleb.”
“Oh, Belle, darlin’. That doesn’t keep the heart from getting involved.”
She knew that all too well. But now that she knew her name, her feelings would change. Wouldn’t they? That’s what she’d learned in her sessions. Though her feelings for Caleb seemed strong now, once her memory fully returned those emotions would lose their strength. Her feelings for Caleb were based on her fears and insecurities. He was her security blanket.
In her mind, she recognized the logic of that. In her heart she wasn’t so sure. Caleb, with his kind and gentle ways, was a part of her. She knew his smile, that crooked grin and the way his brows knitted together when he was deep in thought. But most of all she knew his voice—that deep soothing tone that had brought her so much comfort. And his touch. For so long she jumped if anyone touched her.
Slowly and surely Caleb’s gentle touch had shown her that not all people were bad. Caleb was good to the core and she couldn’t imagine loving anyone the way she loved him. But that was her private secret. She had no right to love Caleb or to give him hope that one day there could be a future for them. Until she regained her memory, she had no future.
But now she had a name. In a few hours Caleb might be able to tell her where she was from, if she had a family, a husband. The thought ran through her with anticipation and dread. Once she found that out, Caleb would become a part of her past and she wasn’t ready to let go—not of Caleb.
She was smart enough to realize that everything Dr. Oliver had cautioned her about was true. Her attachment to Caleb was hindering her memory recall. She had to let go and allow herself to remember. She wasn’t in love with Caleb, she only thought she was. How many times would she have to say that to herself before she believed it?
“Belle, grab Harry. He’s getting tired.” Ms. Gertie’s voice penetrated her thoughts and she jumped up, Prissy growling at the interruption of her sleep. Belle grabbed a towel and gathered Harry into her arms, drying him thoroughly.
When she put him down, she knew exactly what he was going to do. He shook his whole body, splattering her with remnants of water.
“Harry,” she scolded, but laughed at his anguished expression. She picked him up and rubbed him again until he was panting with delight.
“I better get out. I have a dozen phone calls to make.”
“Is there anything I can do?” Belle asked again.
“Yes. Make sure Martha has that canary locked in the dining room. I don’t want the girls having a feast of him tonight.”
“The girls never leave your bed.” Gertie called the cats her girls and she treated them as such, too.
“Oh, but temptation is sometimes too great.” Gertie stepped out and wrapped a towel around herself. “Think about that, Belle. Sometimes it’s good to give in to temptation.”
“Ms. Gertie.” She was shocked.
“I’m not talking about the girls. I’m talking about Caleb.”
“Ms. Gertie!” She was even more shocked.
“I’m going to change, then I’ll be in my study.” She walked off, not saying another word, the animals marching behind her.
Belle went to check on the canary, trying to ignore the message behind Gertie’s words. She knew how Belle felt about Caleb. Everybody probably did, but Caleb. And she never wanted him to know. It would only complicate things.
CALEB SPENT THE AFTERNOON searching for every piece of information he could on Joscelyn Marie Beckett. Before long, he knew a lot about her. She was born in Corpus Christi, Texas to Brett and Marie Beckett. She attended school in Corpus and went on to Texas A&M at Corpus and eventually became a police officer. A police officer! That threw him and angered him. How could a police officer disappear without anyone knowing? But it would explain her strength and courage.
He forced himself to continue. Later, she was on the police force in Beckett, Texas. Caleb had heard of the town, but looked it up on the map to get the exact location. South Texas—between Corpus Christi and Laredo.
None of this was making sense. She was a police officer and no one had reported her missing. And no one had answered the ads asking for information about her that were plastered in all the big newspapers. Why?
A little more checking and he discovered she’d never been married.