had a father who made all the decisions and ran their house with an iron fist. All her life her mother had given in to her dad. Too far back to remember exactly when, Camilla had vowed she would never live a life where she had to constantly give in to someone else about everything. She had to make some of her own decisions beyond what she would wear and whom she’d invite to the next party.
Her brother, as much as she had loved Thane, had been another take-charge man. But she wouldn’t allow herself to choose a man like that for a husband.
At least her dad led a quiet life. Noah, on the other hand, liked challenges.
Noah and she were such opposites that she couldn’t understand the attraction she felt. She was going to Shakespeare in the Park tonight. Noah would never go with her to Shakespeare, the opera or the ballet. He seldom went to art galleries with her. She loved city life, operas, chamber music, her art. Noah was a billionaire rancher, but a cowboy at heart. He loved his ranch, boot-scootin’ honky-tonks, country music, competing in rodeos, flying his planes. He was exuberant, filled with life, and he’d take charge wherever he was. She didn’t want to tie her life to a cowboy who was 100 percent determined to do things his way.
So why did she almost melt when she looked into his vivid blue eyes? Why did his kisses set her on fire? He could make her forget the world, forget what she liked and didn’t like. So easily he could make her want to be in his arms. And that was what he had done the last time she had seen him when he had come home to Texas on a furlough.
They had started out fighting and arguing and ended up in bed in each other’s arms. He had charmed her as he usually did.
For all their differences and her wanting to avoid getting entangled with a wild, take-charge rancher who liked challenges, she had been charmed, dazzled and unable to resist the mutual attraction, and she had spent the weekend in his bed. Now she was going to face the consequences.
When Noah had been home on furlough, he had been more appealing than ever. He had filled out with broad, muscled shoulders, a hard body in prime shape with a narrow waist, endurance that made him fabulous in bed. Just thinking about seeing him again made her pulse race and her insides get tingly.
She didn’t know how she would deal with him. No matter how much she planned to stand firm, to resist him, she feared that all he had to do was wrap his arm around her and kiss her and her resistance would disappear into thin air.
On the other hand, he could be stubborn, determined and unyielding. Which made her wonder how forgiving he could be. She couldn’t answer that, because there hadn’t ever been an occasion between them for her to gauge his ability to forgive.
Thinking of seeing Noah made her shiver.
She heard the monitor and left to get her fifteen-month-old son.
He had gone back to sleep and she stood beside his crib, love filling her for her baby. Ethan lay curled on his side. His long black lashes cast dark shadows on his rosy cheeks.
Camilla ran her fingers lightly over her precious sleeping baby. His mop of curly black hair reminded her of his dad. He held a frazzled-looking teddy bear in his arms—the toy he held like a security blanket whenever he’d get sleepy. The bear’s stitched black nose was smashed from Ethan rubbing noses with it.
She touched Ethan’s curls again. Guilt was a heavy shroud that had fallen over her. This was Noah’s baby and he had no idea that Ethan was his son.
Camilla
All during her pregnancy, everyone assumed she was carrying her ex-husband Aiden’s child. When she realized they did, she let everyone go right on believing that. By the second month after they married, Aiden and she were divorced. When the baby was born, it was easy to keep up the deception. She had been divorced and Aiden had left town six months before Ethan was born, so no one questioned her naming her baby Warner, her family name. Aiden had been a rebound marriage, a fling, a mistake, and she never wanted to keep his name and he had no interest in her baby.
Little Ethan, like Aiden and Noah, had black hair, so no one suspected anything.
Though she’d already broken up with Noah when she started dating Aiden, she’d been pregnant. Noah had been back in Afghanistan, his furlough over. As well as their relationship.
She’d known Aiden since college and she married him on the rebound. She had thought he would be a dad for her baby, but she knew the second week of the marriage she had made a mistake and she felt he wasn’t happy, either.
They really weren’t compatible. By the second month he’d wanted a divorce and so had she.
People still didn’t realize this was Noah’s baby. While guilt plagued her because Noah had a right to know the truth, she knew he would want to take charge of the situation. He would want control over her baby. Maybe her own life in some ways would be out of her hands.
At some point she had to let him know about Ethan, but she dreaded it more than anything in her life. She was not going to let him know yet. Ethan was the joy of her life now. She didn’t want to lose him. Nor was she ready to share him. Noah was a rancher, but she loved city life and wanted her son in Dallas.
Though she’d spent time on her grandfather’s ranch, she wasn’t fond of them. Being on a ranch made her think of Winston, her little brother who had fallen through the ice at their grandfather’s ranch when Winston was four. Thane had pulled him out of the icy pond. Later Winston had developed pneumonia and died. It always saddened her to think of that time.
The entire year they’d dated, Noah had never declared his love, but he’d made it clear that if he ever wanted to marry, his wife would have to live on his ranch.
Yes, suffice it to say, she and Noah had hugely different lifestyles. Noah wasn’t going to change and she didn’t want to change, either.
She brushed her fingers so lightly over Ethan’s soft curls, feeling them tickle the palm of her hand. Wanting to lean down and kiss him, she resisted because she was afraid she would wake him. The minute Noah knew about their son, she was certain he would want to take charge of Ethan’s life and maybe hers, too. She would see Noah when Mike Moretti and Thane’s widow, Vivian, married. Their wedding was coming up this next weekend, and both she and Noah would be in it. Ethan was too little to go to this wedding, so she didn’t have to worry about having Noah and Ethan in the same place.
Aside from Mike and Vivian, she moved in a circle of friends now who did not know Noah, so she hoped she’d be able to drag out the deception a little longer.
Over the last almost two years there’d been times she’d considered telling Noah about his son, but she’d always backed off. Now, as she looked at her baby and fought the urge to hold him in her arms, she knew despite her guilty conscience, she had to continue to keep Noah away from him. It was too terrifying to tell him the truth.
Noah
Tuesday afternoon, Noah sat across from Mike as they ate burgers together on the patio of a popular lunch place in Dallas. “I’m glad about you and Thane’s widow,” Noah told his friend. “I guess it was good you told Thane you’d go to work for him when you got out of the military. I think it gave him peace of mind to hire you and know if something happened to him, you’d go home to run the ranch. He may have hoped all along that you would marry Vivian.”
“I’m sure he was taking care of Vivian and taking care of his beloved ranch. He had everything all lined up if anything happened to him.” Mike put down his burger and wiped his mouth on a napkin. “Now you have an errand for him.”
“Right,” Noah said, looking into his friend’s alert brown eyes. Mike’s black hair had a slight wave and was longer than when he was in the service, but still cut short. “I had to promise Thane I would put his package into Camilla’s hands myself. The baby, too. Her baby isn’t going to know or care what’s going on and probably won’t even know he has a present.”