The Perfect Widow. A.M. Castle

less available. There’s nothing people like more than a bit of a challenge. Watch kids in the playground. They all want the same toy. One picks it up, and it’s suddenly the hottest thing in the sandpit. Meanwhile, a hundred identical toys, just as good, lie unwanted and unseen.

      At the moment, I was like a discarded plastic bucket, aching for Patrick to pick me. I needed to stir things up, make him see me, realise that I was a must-have. And feel that he had to fight to get me.

      Or I had to contemplate something much more difficult. Something terrifying.

      I needed to accept defeat and move on.

       Chapter 15

       Now

       Becca

      Becca stared straight ahead, kept her eyes on the sitcom, just the way her mother liked her to. She could sense her mother’s gaze coming to rest on her occasionally when the canned laughter rang out, checking she was smiling. Becca stretched her mouth obligingly, but inside, she was thinking. She’d have to stir things up. If she was right about Louise – and she was – she’d have to make others see it. Because at the moment they were blind.

      This was the easiest way to be with her mother. Let it all wash over her. And if Mum wanted to have her say about Becca’s life, the telly was the referee. All points were made via the set. ‘Doesn’t she just look lovely?’ Compared with the state of you. Her mother sighed as a 20-year-old with a size-six body wafted across the screen.

      ‘That mother is so kind, isn’t she?’ Why can’t you stop being a bitch? Becca countered, as the cosy TV matriarch poured out more tea, apparently without the whiff of martyrdom hanging over her every action.

      They sat in a silence that passed for companionable for a while, then Becca burst into speech. ‘Would you ever think that she’d be capable of murder?’ she asked, jabbing a biscuit towards the sitcom daughter.

      ‘Murder?’ Her mother’s eyes were as round as the coasters on the coffee table. ‘But why would she need to kill someone? She’s got everything, hasn’t she? Look at that boyfriend, he worships the ground she walks on, you can tell.’ Why haven’t you got one? Her mother was tutting, shifting in her chair. Becca knew the signs, realised glumly she ought to go. These Saturday nights were never easy, at the best of times. And now, with her mind so occupied with thoughts of pulling that one trailing thread that would make Louise Bridges unravel, well, she hadn’t got the energy to play her mother’s games.

      Suddenly, her mother turned to her, actually looked straight at her. ‘It’s not like before, is it, love? You know, when you got everything … out of proportion?’

      Becca stared at her. She thought they had a pact never to mention those dark months, the medication that had kept her tethered to her bed, as secure as any strait jacket. ‘No. No. Of course not, Mum. Why would you say that? I’m better now, that was ages ago. All in the past.’

      ‘It’s just … you’ve got that expression again. You know, that look on your face …’ Her mother was still gazing at her, checking for something, Becca didn’t know what. She shook her head.

      ‘You’ve got it wrong, Mum. Just busy. Busy at work, you know. But it’s great to be here. So relaxing after a hard week.’ Her fingers gripped the armrest.

      Her mother subsided. So willing to be reassured, so glad to have her fears laid to rest. She didn’t want that trouble again. Becca didn’t blame her. It was … well, it was a hole that she had fallen into. But she had crawled out of it, too. This wasn’t the same at all. Back then, she obsessed about anything. Everything. Light switches, lampposts. Yes, she could see now that it wasn’t healthy, she’d needed help. But this time was different. She was looking into something, legitimately. A concern. A desire to protect the public. And this time, she was right.

      On the screen, the soundtrack erupted into guffaws again, then a smattering of applause. Becca chuckled obediently, felt her mother’s eyes rake her face again, smiling this time. Becca slumped back in her chair, forgot about escape. She let the evening wash over her. She’d play the game her mother’s way, for once.