He ran his hand through his short, almost black hair. “But I know you have integrity and devoted your life to helping others. Back in school, I had an ego as long as the Mississippi and as deep as the Grand Canyon. I never thought about anyone but myself. I apologize for that. And I apologize for—”
“Look, we don’t have time for unnecessary apologies. Wyatt will be back soon. I want to help you out, but I can’t. I was a social worker, but I don’t work with troubled kids anymore.”
“What will it take for you to say yes?”
“Nothing.” She lifted her hands, palms up. “I give you credit for using your best weapon—Wyatt—to try to seal the deal, but no.”
His nostrils flared. “Do you have another job?”
“Yes.”
“Permanent?”
Ugh. He knew. Always knew people’s weak spots.
“I’m filling in at LE Fitness for Laney Mills. Maternity leave. She’ll be back next week.”
“There you go. The timing’s perfect. You need a job. I need help. I’ll pay you whatever you’re making there, plus ten percent.”
She fought irritation. This relentlessness was part of Drew’s personality, part of what had made him a winning football player. But, for real, the man needed to accept the word no. She didn’t owe him anything. “You can find someone else.”
“He needs you.”
That threw her off. Drew didn’t know her, not really. “How can you say that with a straight face?”
“Look, he’s been through a nightmare I wouldn’t wish on anyone, and he’s hurting. Withdrawn. I’m worried he’ll never be the same fun kid I’ve spent so much time with over the past ten years. I’m all he has.”
A nightmare... For eight years she’d worked with kids embroiled in nightmares. Chicago’s inner city had supplied a lifetime of them. She’d thought she could help. She’d been wrong. But Wyatt’s face when he’d admitted there was nothing for him in Detroit scratched at her heart. She knew exactly how he felt.
There’d been nothing for her anywhere the first seven years of her life.
Drew squared his shoulders. “I could find a babysitter or someone else with children where he can stay on my overnights, but he’s been through too much. You know how to handle kids like him. Know what he needs. I want someone who will come to our house. I want him to sleep in the same bed every night. Feel safe. Grow up as normal as possible.”
Kind of like the normal life her adoptive parents gave her. Uh-oh. He’d twisted the screw into her vulnerable spot.
“Even you have to admit he needs special care right now. He lost his mom. His dad’s in jail. He’s scared of photographers jumping out of the bushes. Please, Lauren.”
Yes was on the tip of her tongue, but the memory of last December’s phone call haunted her. “I can’t help. When I say I can’t, I mean I really can’t. Even if I agreed, I’d only be giving you false hope he’ll be okay. He’s not an easy fix, Drew.”
He opened his mouth to counter, but Wyatt came back, setting the ice cream and the change in front of Lauren.
“Thank you, Wyatt.” She smiled at him. Skinny with light brown hair and one of those cute faces destined to grow up handsome. She couldn’t halt the longing in her heart to help him. To take him under her wing and just let him be a kid. Help him adjust to life without his parents.
She’d had the same longing every day since she was sixteen years old. She’d thought she was meant to help kids like Wyatt—kids like her—ones with broken wings and matching spirits. But her efforts were for nothing. Worse than nothing. She’d given those two boys hope, and look where they’d ended up.
How had she been so wrong about her life? Her calling?
Her neck felt as though a noose was tightening around it. “Well, I’d better get going.”
“But you didn’t eat your ice cream,” Wyatt said.
She tried to smile, but his hazel eyes held a glimmer she recognized. It was a sliver of need, asking her if he was worth anything. Yes, Wyatt. You’re worth everything, but I’m not the one who can help you.
“I guess we’re even, then.” She pointed to his bowl. He blinked, and the glimmer vanished. Guilt compressed her chest until she could barely breathe. She darted a glance at Drew and wished she hadn’t. He looked unhappy.
Without a word, Wyatt pivoted and jogged away. Drew followed him.
The guilt squeezing her chest so tightly exploded. She’d made the sweet kid feel unwanted, and she did want to help him. Wanted to get to know him, to hear all about his little-boy day. She wanted him to know his parents had made bad choices, and none of it was his fault. She wanted to be part of his recovery.
But she wasn’t recovered herself.
One broken soul couldn’t fix another.
Lauren watched Drew draw near the boy. He crouched to his level and put his hand on his shoulder. The picture they presented radiated love. It didn’t take a degree in psychology to see Drew would do whatever was necessary to keep the boy safe and make him happy.
For the briefest moment, she wanted the same. For Drew to chase her and do whatever it took to keep her safe and make her happy.
Which proved how messed up she was.
She’d had her life planned out since she was sixteen. Devote her life to neglected kids, eventually get married, have a family of her own. That was the funny thing about life. Plans changed. Not always for the better.
Now what? She had no plan. Temporary jobs didn’t fulfill her. She wanted a new life purpose. Something to dig into. Something to make her feel alive again.
In the distance Drew rose and kept his arm around Wyatt. He pointed to a black truck. While Wyatt trudged to the passenger door, Drew marched back to her.
“That was my fault,” he said, head high. “I took a chance bringing you two together, and it blew up in my face. I’m sorry. But I’m still asking you to consider it. Don’t decide now. Give it a few days. I’ll call you.”
Please don’t.
He strode, tall and confident, back to the truck.
She grabbed the ice-cream containers and threw them in the trash. Drew didn’t need her. He thought he did, but Wyatt would be better off with someone else.
Anyone else.
For months she’d avoided thinking about her next move, but this meeting drove home the fact that she needed a long-term plan. A new career. A way to get out of this nothingness she’d been in. But what?
Drew Gannon was dangerous. He tempted her with the one forbidden fruit she’d promised herself she’d never take a bite out of again. Her purpose no longer included helping kids with hard lives. Not even ones who wiggled into her heart and made her want to feel again. Not even Wyatt.
* * *
“See how I’m holding the rod? You want to bring it back like this, then flick it forward while you hold the reel’s button.” At the end of the dock in front of their cabin, Drew demonstrated a perfect cast.
After leaving JJ’s Ice Cream, he’d driven to the elementary school to sign papers for Wyatt’s enrollment. The kid hadn’t said a word since they’d gotten home an hour ago. Wyatt held a fishing rod in his hand, but he’d yet to attempt to cast a line. “Try it.”
With a loud sigh, Wyatt laid the pole on the dock and slouched in one of the camping chairs Drew had brought down. He stuffed his hands into his sweatshirt pockets and stared out at the sparkling blue water.
Drew was ready to pull his hair out. Today