smile twitched Sofia’s lips, and he caught the humor that passed between mother and son. Jack was obviously pushing for something here.
“Only because you’re sick and I feel sorry for Grandpa a little bit. As soon as you’re better, the regular TV deal stands.”
“Okay.” Jack smiled. He still looked rather pale.
“Come here.” She wrapped her arms around him and kissed the top of his head. “I love you, sweetie. I’m going back to work now. Call me if you need me, okay?”
Jack hugged her back. “Okay. Bye.” When she released him, he headed into the living room, and the TV turned on.
“Feeling a little tired, myself,” Steve said, glancing between Sofia and Ben. “I’ll see you later.”
Steve headed in the direction his grandson had gone, and on his way out, Ben noted that the older man looked thinner than he remembered. It was a small relief to be left alone with Sofia in the kitchen.
“You’re all strict about TV watching, huh?” Ben said with a small smile.
“Afraid so.” She caught his eye and shrugged. “I’m a far cry from the girl on the back of your motorbike, you know.”
“I know.” He pushed himself to his feet. “I’m a far cry from being the guy on the bike, too.”
“Let me call the school, then we can get going.” She sighed and shook her head. “Might as well get to work.”
A couple of minutes later, they were both in the car, and Ben’s mind was whirling. There was something about Jack...something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He looked like a good kid, and he looked an awful lot like his mother, but the timing was still nagging at him. Was it rude to ask if there was a chance that he was Jack’s father? She would have told him if he’d gotten her pregnant, wouldn’t she?
“Should I even ask this?” he asked, glancing at her uncertainly.
“Probably not,” she joked.
“I’m being serious.” He put the car into gear and pulled away from the curb. “He’s eight. You left nine years ago. The timing is...” He trailed off, not finishing.
This was her cue to tell him that no, he was not Jack’s father. This was the place where she was supposed to tell him the story of the guy who came after him. This was the place where he would laugh it off and say something like, “Just making sure!” The silence stretched out, and he glanced toward her uncertainly.
“Sofia?”
She sighed. “I meant to tell you in a better way.”
Ben blinked, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. This wasn’t the reply he actually expected.
“You want to make that a little clearer?” he asked.
“I—” Sofia sucked in a breath. “I wanted to tell you in a different way, but, yes, you’re Jack’s dad.”
Silence fell between them, and the rumble of the motor seemed to grow louder by the second. Ben glanced at her a couple of times, then finally broke the silence.
“So—” His grip tightened on the steering wheel. “Wait, so he is mine?”
He pulled a hand through his hair, trying to sort out exactly what he felt, but there was nothing there right now but shock.
“Yes, Benji,” she said after a moment. “Jack is most certainly yours.”
Ben rubbed a hand over his forehead, Sofia’s words sinking in. Jack...was his? He was a dad again? Not really again, exactly. More like he’d been one all along and never been let in on that little detail. This felt more like a bad dream—things coming at him faster than he could entirely make sense of them.
When she used his old nickname—Benji—it reminded him of all those feelings they used to share, and something inside of him suddenly rebelled, and he felt a flood of anger.
It was a feeling, at least. Something besides shock, but the uppermost thought in his mind was, This isn’t fair to Lisa and Mandy. It felt like betraying them after the fact, and it stabbed hard.
“Ben,” he said gruffly.
“Pardon me?” Her voice sounded weak, and when he glanced in her direction, he found her wan and pale, big dark eyes fixed on him uncertainly.
“I don’t go by Benji anymore. I’m Ben.”
It was a small complaint in the grand scheme of things, but hearing his old nickname grated at him something fierce. She’d always called him Benji, and he used to love it, but when he’d met his wife and she’d also tried to call him Benji, he’d put a stop to it. Lisa had deserved something unique—something that hadn’t been done before. Lisa had deserved to be the first for something. He’d always felt slightly guilty for not being able to completely forget about Sofia, and now that Lisa had passed away, the guilt was compounded. He hadn’t given his wife the wholehearted devotion that she deserved.
That wasn’t the point here, though, and he brought his mind back to the petite brunette beside him. Sofia sat in silence, seemingly willing to let him digest what she’d just told him.
“So how?” he asked, turning into a parking lot and choosing a spot as far from the other cars as possible. He slammed the car into Park. There was no way he could have this conversation while driving. “I don’t get it. You were pregnant when you left? Did you know?”
“I knew.” She nodded, and two pink circles materialized on her cheeks. “I was only a few weeks along, and we’d just broken up.”
“It isn’t like we hadn’t broken up and gotten back together before,” he said.
“I didn’t want to get back together. The baby made everything different.”
“Different.” He heard the bitterness in his own voice. He wasn’t sure why he was spoiling for a fight right now, but he was angry—deeply angry. This was a big load to dump on a guy, and why on earth had she waited so long to tell him?
“I should have told you sooner, I know,” she said, as if reading his mind. “At first, I admit that I wasn’t going to tell you anything, but deep down I knew that was wrong. And the older Jack got, the more curious he got. Other kids had dads, and I knew I had to tell you that he existed, but when I got as far as picking up the phone, I didn’t have the words.”
“How about, ‘You’ve got a son’?” he suggested, his tone sarcastic. “That might have been a good start.”
“I didn’t even know if you’d care!”
“If I’d care?” he shot back, the insult slipping deep beneath his defenses. “Of course, I’d care!”
She actually wondered if he’d care that he’d fathered a child? Was that how low her opinion was of him? Did she think that he wouldn’t have cared about her in all of this, either? He’d never have left her to have a baby on her own... He’d have found some way to take care of her.
“You care now!” Her eyes snapped in anger. “You weren’t like this before! You were...” She shook her head irritably. “You were the guy with the leather jacket and the motorcycle. You hated authority. You were seventeen, you just about got expelled from school, and you were—”
“The father,” he interrupted. “I was the father. I deserved to know.”
He had changed. He had to admit that, if only to himself. He’d changed when he found God, and then he’d changed even further when he found Lisa. Lisa had tamed him in a whole different way, introducing him to matching linens and Sunday brunches.
“What