Heavens, no. Barely two days are the same.’
‘What you need here, Doubler, as I’ve told you before, are some nice hens pecking at the yard’ – she nodded at the empty space around them – ‘and there, perhaps, in the lee of that barn, a veggie patch. That’s a great spot. It would be nicely sheltered.’ She pointed at a corner of the nearest field that ran right up to the garage.
‘I’m sure you’re right. I have been meaning to be a bit more adventurous. But the day job keeps getting in the way. Perhaps in my retirement, eh?’ he joked.
Midge picked up the groceries and they entered the house together.
Doubler nodded at the bags. ‘I do OK, though, all things considered. These are probably grown locally, and I get by with the help of my friends.’
‘Your friends?’ Midge asked with an eyebrow raised and a hint of cynicism in her voice. The man in the farm shop had handed over the groceries without a word of greeting. Midge would have expected some sort of message of good wishes to pass on, particularly if Doubler hadn’t been to the shop in person for a few weeks.
Doubler chose not to answer and busied himself putting away the groceries.
When he returned from the pantry, Midge was already putting the kettle on.
‘Right, you. Mum is pushing for a progress report.’
‘From me? Well, nothing much to report and I spoke to her just yesterday.’
‘Nothing to report? That’s what we both feared. Have you arranged a time to visit Grove Farm yet? That’s what she really wants to know.’
Doubler looked at his feet and wondered how best to reply.
Midge looked serious, her hands now on her hips. ‘Have you even called them?’
Doubler shook his head apologetically, still unable to look Midge in the eye. ‘I’m afraid not. I lost my nerve.’
‘Oh, Doubler, that’s such a shame! If you don’t want to volunteer, I completely understand, but you need to tell Mum you’ve chickened out or you’ll just be letting her down. She really was hoping you’d get involved and help them out. Help her out. Besides, they’re expecting your call, so it will seem very rude.’
Doubler was appalled but unsure what he could do to right the situation, as recently he’d felt further away from making that call than ever before. ‘I’ve been very busy up here – there’s the normal workload to contend with, and I’ve taken on my domestic duties, too. There are already a great number of commitments to deal with. I’m quite stretched.’
Midge looked around at the immaculate kitchen. ‘I’m sure you’re doing a wonderful job keeping on top of it all, but I really don’t think it’s very healthy hiding up here all the time.’
Doubler protested, ‘I’m outside most of the day and I provide well for myself. It’s a healthy lifestyle – your mum would vouch for that.’
‘I’m quite sure you are healthy physically. That’s not what I’m concerned about. It’s your mental health that worries me. You must go days without seeing somebody up here.’
Doubler bit his lip and looked embarrassed.
‘Are you involved in any social activities? Golf? Bridge? A book club?’
Doubler shook his head and sat down heavily, resting his elbows on the table and putting his chin in his hands.
‘And what about friends? Do you get many visitors to Mirth Farm?’
Doubler shrugged.
‘When did you last go to dinner at a friend’s house?’ Midge still had her hands on her hips. She felt as combative as she sounded.
‘Gosh, I can’t remember. We used to go out a lot, Marie and I. She was very sociable. Drove me nuts, to tell you the truth. But after she went, I didn’t really feel up to much, so the invitations soon tailed off. Not their fault. I probably said “no” one too many times, so they eventually stopped asking.’
Midge, incredulous, came and sat down next to Doubler. ‘But that was more than two decades ago! You’re not telling me you’ve not eaten at a friend’s house for all that time?’
Doubler immediately pushed his chair back to stand up, continuing with the tea-making process that Midge had abandoned in her shock.
‘I suppose I haven’t. Amazing how time flies, really. But it’s not surprising. I’ve had my head down with my work, and your mum was always there to keep me company Monday to Friday. I never felt lonely.’
‘But, Doubler, that is not good enough! What about trips to the town? To the shops? How many times a week do you actually leave this place?’
Again Doubler fell silent. He had deliberately kept his isolation a secret from his children, but he didn’t think Midge would be so easy to fob off with a convenient version intended to pacify her. And besides, Mrs Millwood knew the extent of his solitary confinement, so there was little to gain by hiding it from her daughter. Still he hesitated, acknowledging his failure at life as if for the very first time.
She was insistent. ‘Doubler, how many visits to town do you make a week?’
Doubler poured tea for them both, took a sip and concentrated furiously on the lip of his cup.
‘A month?’ Midge tried.
Doubler finally raised his eyes to meet hers. ‘To tell you the truth, I don’t leave here.’
‘What, never?’
‘No. Not since Marie went. I have an arrangement that covers me for groceries and it’s quite satisfactory. Anything else I need is delivered to me here. I only have to pick up the phone. It lets me get on with the work I need to do. My potatoes are actually very demanding and even in the winter there is so much to do. I have very little help, you know – just a few extra pairs of hands for harvest. Most of it I do myself and I just wouldn’t manage if I was always popping into town.’
‘I’m not talking about always popping into town. I’m talking about once or twice a week, say, getting out and about, having a conversation with somebody, anybody. You’re living as a recluse and that can’t be healthy.’
‘I’m OK,’ Doubler said quite firmly. ‘I don’t need anybody much. I mean, of course I relied very much on my lunchtime natter with your mum. That I miss dreadfully.’ His eyes filled up and Midge thought he might break down altogether, but he shook himself and drew himself up straight. ‘But I’m coping without those even. Conversation is overrated, you know.’
Midge shook her head sadly. ‘No, Doubler, it’s not. And if I wasn’t here trying to keep an eye on you in Mum’s absence, I hate to think what would happen to you. I’m going to dial the number for Grove Farm myself, but you’re going to do the talking – after all, you’re a bright, interesting individual and you are more than capable of engaging with these people. You’re going to volunteer immediately – and I mean immediately, tomorrow ideally. And just so you don’t get cold feet, I am going to drive you there myself the first time. I can imagine the shock to your system could be immense and I don’t want to feel responsible for you when your system goes into collapse because I’ve made you have a conversation with somebody other than my mother. Come on, I haven’t got all day.’
She led him to the telephone, looked up the number on her own phone, dialled it and handed Doubler the receiver with a look of impatience that Doubler feared much more than the sound of a stranger’s voice.
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