the life growing in her womb, the reality of actually being a mother had always been in the category of someday.
Someday had come. She was a mother now. Right now.
Help me, Lord. Help.
She still felt silly talking in her head to God, but it was becoming increasingly instinctual. Millie’s faith was getting stronger every single day, no matter how much she tried to reason herself out of it. It had already saved her. Literally.
Millie had walked into a church a year ago out of some kind of curiosity she couldn’t contain. After making her list and determining it couldn’t do any harm to just see what the church looked like on the inside, she’d forced her legs to go up those steps and walk through the doorway. Mrs. Thompson had been inside. That action had put into motion a chain of events that had led to Millie being in Kansas about to face her new children for the first time. The Lord sure had a way of doing things.
“This is still what you want, isn’t it? It will be much harder to change your mind once you meet the children. I—”
“No, Adam. Don’t.” It was hard to speak past the panic that put spots in her vision. He thought she had changed her mind? He was going to take her back. But, back to what? She was so close to having a steady, stable home, and now it was all going to disappear. Like the mirages she had read about.
This time it was Millie who reached out and initiated touch. “I’m sorry, Adam. I don’t know what I said wrong, but I haven’t changed my mind. Please, don’t make me go back. Please.”
She was begging. Millie had gone from awe at the thought of being a mother to sheer, humiliating desperation in the span of a heartbeat. She had to fix this.
Adam immediately pulled on the reins and stopped the wagon. Was he getting ready to turn around and take her back?
* * *
How had this gone wrong so fast? He had been enjoying the day, enjoying watching Millie take in her new home. Then, he opened his mouth and ruined it all. Like always. Apparently, he hadn’t learned a single thing from his first wife leaving him.
Adam dropped the reins and turned to Millie. What would he have done with Sarah? He would have tried to hold her. Comfort her. Yeah. He needed to do the opposite of that. His instincts had proven to be disastrously wrong. He needed to change his course or he’d end up in the same place.
“Millie. Calm down.” Adam infused his voice with as much authority as he could manage. It seemed to work, because she stopped begging him to let her stay. She seemed to stop everything. The new Mrs. Beale seemed to have frozen. Her eyes were still wide with panic, but she was no longer gasping for breath. Instead, her breathing had become too shallow. Too still.
“Millie, breathe. Please. Just calm down. I have not changed my mind at all. Not even a little bit. I did not marry you on some whim. I knew what I was doing, and I’m standing by that decision.”
Statue Millie did not so much as blink. His instincts were wrong and apparently the opposite of his instincts were not much better. Maybe Adam was never meant to be in a successful relationship with a woman. Lots of men went through life single. It seemed as though Adam should have taken that path.
But, he hadn’t. And he had two incredible children as a result. Children he needed to provide for. Meant to be a family man or not, Adam had a family. He had a responsibility to those children to give them a real home—including a loving mother. And he would. If he could just figure out how.
“I’m sorry. It was a stupid thing to say. Of course you’re sure. I know you’re sure. If I thought you might change your mind, I never would have married you. I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry.”
She started breathing again. Finally. Finally, finally.
“Please. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I’m okay.” She didn’t sound okay, but she was moving and talking and that was more than statue Millie had been doing.
“It’s my fault, too. I overreacted. It was just a misunderstanding.”
Adam ran a hand down his face, feeling his body tremble slightly. This had spun out of control so fast. Too fast. Adam hated this feeling. He just wanted to move on.
“It doesn’t matter whose fault it was.”
Millie just looked at him with her dark brown eyes. Adam tried to give her as much time as possible, to be as patient as possible. Patience had never been his strong suit.
“Are we okay? Edith probably heard us coming. I’m sure she’s waiting for us.”
Millie breathed a small breath and looked at the house. Then she looked at him and nodded. “Yes. We’re okay. Let’s go meet the children.”
Adam picked the reins back up and flicked them. The horses were well trained and did not need any more encouragement to finish the trip. They were probably looking forward to the familiar barn just as much as Adam was yearning to be back home. Even though he’d only been gone since early this morning, Adam had missed this place terribly.
They came up to the area between the house and barn, and the front door opened. Adam saw Edith standing there, smiling. Her husband was a good friend of Adam’s, and they were good neighbors. She had been excited for Adam to go and fetch his new bride.
Edith was holding Genie in her arms. Caty was standing next to her, one little fist buried in Edith’s apron. Adam jumped down from the wagon and hurried to help Millie down. He should probably face the children with Millie by his side, present them as a united front, but he could not help himself. Adam bounded up the stairs and knelt down in front of his little girl.
“Hi there, Caty-girl. Did you miss me? I missed you a whole lot.”
Caty let go of Edith’s apron and stepped into Adam’s arms. Adam stood, relishing as always the slight weight of his sweet girl in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his neck. Adam let her hide for a moment.
He looked at Genie and smiled. “Hey there, bud. Did you miss me?”
Genie nodded, still looking a bit uncertain. Adam reached out with his free hand and brushed it affectionately over the top of his son’s head.
Adam turned and walked down the stairs, murmuring to Caty as he went. “Are you ready to meet Millie, Caty-girl? Remember I told you that I was going to come back with a woman. A new mother?”
Caty nodded slightly, but still did not lift her face from Adam’s neck. He came to a stop in front of Millie.
“Caty, sit up and say hi to Millie. She really wants to meet you.”
Caty lifted her head, but she still looked down at Adam’s chest instead of in Millie’s direction.
“Hi, Caty. I’m so happy to meet you. Your daddy told me all about you, and I am so excited to be here.” Millie’s tone was just right. Genuine and friendly without being too condescending.
Caty looked at Millie, and Millie smiled gently. The smile made dimples appear in her cheeks. How had Adam not noticed the dimples earlier? He found he really liked them.
Caty bit her lip, but her face lost some of its wariness. Her death grip on Adam lessened. His girlie was definitely curious about Millie, but not scared.
That was good. Adam turned to look at Edith.
“Do you and Genie want to come and meet Millie, Edith?”
Edith came down the stairs at once, a huge smile splitting her face. “I thought you’d never ask. Standing back quietly is not something I’m skilled at, Adam Beale, and I think I’ve exercised a lifetime’s amount of restraint in the last five minutes.”
That was Edith. Cheerful and exuberant. But, also a good friend. Willing to help anyone she encountered. He had been beyond blessed to have the Potters as neighbors.
Still holding