Hold the Dream. Barbara Taylor Bradford

‘I’m sure he’ll continue to have his brief, hit-and-run affairs, his sexual entanglements. He couldn’t avoid them, not the way women throw themselves at him. Shane’s no saint, you know. And he’s hardly the type to lead a celibate life. After all, Aunt Emma, you don’t have to be in love with a woman to sleep with her.’

      ‘Quite,’ Emma said, lifting a brow, glancing at Emily.

      Winston noticed this, but Emily was a big girl. She knew what was what. Undeterred, he plunged on, ‘I suppose you won’t want to hear this, but I’m going to say it anyway. In my opinion, Shane O’Neill will never love anyone but Paula. You said a few minutes ago that this was a tragic thing for Shane. And it is. But it’s also tragic for Paula, I think. She’d have been far better off and happier with a man like Shane than with Jim Fairley.’

      Winston’s harsh tone, not to mention his condemning words, brought Emma up with a start. She looked at him swiftly, in astonishment, noticing the grim expression ringing his mouth, the angry glint in his eyes. Why, he bears a grudge against Jim, she thought, that’s what his suppressed rage and resentment are all about. Winston is against Jim Fairley because he won Paula, cut Shane out.

      Emma nodded, made no comment whatsoever.

      Emily, her face puckering up, said quietly, ‘Poor Shane. Life’s so unfair.’

      ‘Come now, darling, you’re only seeing Shane’s side of this situation.’ Emma clucked gently, reprovingly. ‘Perhaps Paula doesn’t think life is unfair. I’m sure she’s happy with Jim. I know she loves him. And besides, Emily, whoever told you life is fair? It’s most unfair, and it has always been damned hard, in my experience. How we cope with life, react to our hardships and suffering, and overcome them, that’s what really counts in the end. We must all be strong, learn from our troubles, grow in stature and character. We can’t ever let adversity get us down, Emily. Now, let us end this discussion. Run along, the two of you. I want to be alone for a few minutes.’

      Winston went over and kissed her. So did Emily. They left together in silence.

      Emma sat by herself for a while.

      She felt weary, bone tired. It seemed to her that she solved one problem only to encounter another. But then her life had never been any different. Dear, dear Shane, she murmured under her breath. My heart goes out to you. Life has dealt you a bad hand in this particular instance. But you’ll survive. We all do.

      Quite unexpectedly tears came into her eyes and trickled down her cheeks. She searched her pockets for a handkerchief and dabbed at her wrinkled old face. She felt like weeping buckets of tears. But that was not her way, giving in like that. And tears solved nothing. She blew her nose, pocketed her handkerchief, and stood up, smoothing down her dress as she did.

      Emma walked over to the windows again, taking a few deep breaths, drawing on her great strength, her will power. And slowly she pulled herself together. Her thoughts came back to Shane. Perhaps Winston was right in his assessment. Maybe Shane hadn’t realized how he truly felt about Paula until it was too late. Then again, maybe he had believed he had all the time in the world to claim her for his own. We all think that time is endless when we’re young, she sighed to herself. The years ahead seem to stretch out forever and indefinitely. But they don’t … they disappear in a flash, in the wink of an eye. Blackie edged into her mind. She wondered what he would have to say about this situation. She decided, at once, not to tell him. It would upset him, cause him too much grief.

      Last night Blackie had said that life was too damned short for dilly-dallying. There was a great deal of truth and wisdom in his words. Especially when it came to a couple of old warriors like themselves. Emma made another sudden decision. She was going to accept Blackie’s invitation to go on that trip around the world after all. No more dilly-dallying for her.

      Turning away from the window, Emma walked briskly across the floor and left the library. She went into the drawing room purposefully, seeking Blackie, picturing his expression when she told him to put his Plan with a capital P into operation immediately. And this she fully intended to do the minute she found him in the crowded room.