Her words were kind of hard to understand, all clogged up with tears, and still in a whisper. But she wasn’t sobbing. I almost wished she was. Sobbing came and went. These tears, they seemed like they could just keep coming and never stop.
I’d never seen Bailey like this before. Should I go get Mom now?
“I reached up for it....”
I could picture her there, inside the opened closet door—a single, pressboard thing, not like the solid wood double doors on my closet—her arm raised.
“I didn’t hear him come in....”
I rubbed her shoulder some more. I wanted to cover my ears like I’d done as a kid when Mom was telling me my grandmother had died. If I didn’t hear, I didn’t have to know and it wouldn’t be real.
“He came up behind me....”
I couldn’t stand the pain I heard in her voice. “It’s okay, Bail. It’s okay.” But it wasn’t. I had a feeling things weren’t ever going to be okay again, just like she’d said.
“He grabbed my breast....” She began to sob then, and I reached down for her, pulling her into my lap. I cradled her, rocking back and forth, whispering to her.
Neither of us had ever been touched sexually before.
We’d talked about what our first times would be like. A lot, lately. She’d heard it might hurt and asked me what I thought. So I asked Mom and she’d said it often does hurt the first time, but not always. And that it also could feel incredibly good if the man and woman were in love and took care with each other.
Bailey and I had talked about that a lot, too. About what “took care with each other” meant.
We hadn’t reached a conclusion yet, but one thing I knew for sure—the moments she was describing had nothing to do with “taking care.”
“I’m here,” I said, running my fingers through her long dark hair, hating a world that would allow such a horrible thing to happen to such a sweet, beautiful girl. “I’m here.”
We were a pair. What happened to her happened to me. We’d made that promise when we were kids, when we’d still been young enough to believe the world was fair and good.
I listened to her tell me how her drunk stepfather had groped her, shoving a hand inside the waistband of her jeans and down, slobbering all over her neck while he fingered her, before he’d turned her around to kiss her fully and she’d jabbed her knee into his dick and run.
He was a dick. And he was going to pay.
* * *
“No. No. Can’t do it,” Papa Bill stood in the Mitchells’ fancy tiled foyer as Bailey and Koralynn came downstairs together just before five on Saturday evening.
“Can’t do what, Bill?” Mama Di, Koralynn’s mom, sleek and slim and gorgeously blonde, her spiked heels clicking on the tile, walked up behind him. With him in his black tux and her in the body-hugging red silk dress, they looked like Bailey’s perception of Hollywood and they were her welcoming committee. Hers and Koralynn’s.
“I can’t possibly take these two out in public with us,” he said, his face serious. Koralynn paused. Papa Bill’s eyes had that look in them like they got when he was teasing.
Bailey stopped for a second before continuing her princess descent, her high heels sinking into the plush carpet on the stairs. After crying half the night and arguing the other half, she’d finally gotten Koralynn to promise not to say anything about what her stepfather had done the day before. But Koralynn had agreed, only because she knew it would be his word against Bailey’s and that Bailey would be dragged through humiliating shit for probably nothing, and because Bailey’s mom was leaving the jerk, anyway, so Bailey wouldn’t have to deal with him after this.
“What’s wrong, Daddy?” Koralynn was right beside her again, lacing her arm through Bailey’s, like she’d carry the world for both of them. And smiling down at her father.
Koralynn had said they weren’t going to let Stan ruin this night. But it was too late. Koralynn was still Koralynn, all pure and innocent and wondering about the mysteries of life. Bailey wasn’t. Not anymore.
And that was just one more thing separating her from the best friend she loved more than anyone else on earth.
“Look at you two,” Papa Bill said, not a hint of smile in his voice. “You’re far too beautiful! An old man like me can’t be fending off all the guys who’ll be trying to get your attention.”
“You aren’t old, Daddy.”
“And you won’t have to fend them off, either,” Bailey said, grinning even though it hurt, as they reached the bottom of the stairs. “’Cause Koralynn and I will just turn our noses up at them.”
If Bailey had her way, she and Koralynn wouldn’t even look at guys until they were in college. Or later. Guys were just...well, more trouble than they were worth.
But Koralynn was already falling into the trench. And falling hard. For a guy in their sophomore biology class. Danny Brown. He had the hots for her, too. Bailey could tell. It was only a matter of time before the two of them hooked up. By her guess, it would happen during the summer.
And maybe, if Koralynn was lucky, she wouldn’t get hurt. Maybe she’d find out that she didn’t really like Danny as much as she thought before he moved on to the next girl.
Or got too possessive.
Or made her have sex with him.
Bailey shuddered. She didn’t want any guy touching her. Not when it left you feeling dirty and gross.
“We’re more interested in getting our driver’s licenses, Daddy,” Koralynn was saying as she leaned forward to kiss her father’s cheek.
Koralynn had been working on her old man since Christmas, getting him ready to accept the fact that she was growing up. And going to need a car soon.
Lord knew, Bailey wouldn’t be getting one, so they really needed Koralynn to.
“It’s still four months before you turn sixteen, Kor,” Mama Di said. “Give your father a break for the night. I’m not sure he can handle looking at you in heels and makeup and thinking of you behind the wheel of a car.” Mama Di was smiling at the husband she still obviously adored.
And Bailey wondered how they did it, how they’d stayed married for twenty years and didn’t hate each other.
But then, she wondered a lot of things. Like why someone as cool as Koralynn Mitchell wanted her, Bailey Watters, for a sister.
Chapter Two
October 2001
“Come on, Bail, wear the black sweater we got last weekend. You know you look too hot to touch in it.” I held it out to her. The very expensive long, thin sweater was one of a number of garments we shared. We’d both chipped in for it—me from my allowance, and her from the money she made working in the college agricultural building three days a week.
“It’ll be perfect with those new jeans. They’re tight all the way down to your ankles. And with your wedge sandals...” I put my free hand to my lips and made a kissing gesture in the air.
“You wanted to wear it for homecoming.” Arms crossed, Bailey faced me in the middle of our dorm room.
“Yeah, but then I remembered this.” I grabbed a tie-dyed gauze number Mom had sent home with us the last time we visited.
“Danny’s already seen it.”
“Danny’s already seen everything underneath it, too,” I reminded her with a wicked grin. “Besides, he’s going to be paying more attention to a leather ball a bunch of guys are passing around than he is to me.”
I didn’t really believe