WHEN JACK STILL HADN’T returned his call, Austin had decided to reach out to yet another person who’d tried to help him recently—Vanessa Anderson. Vanessa was now a nurse at the small family-practice doctor’s office. She was also one of Austin’s oldest friends. He’d taken a chance and called her just two hours ago. To his surprise, she’d answered right away and even coaxed him into coming in.
He’d readily agreed, though the knot in his stomach and the tremors in his hands revealed that it wasn’t easy for him. To his shame, he was still too chicken to go to an AA meeting. There was something about standing up and admitting his problems to a bunch of strangers that scared the shit out of him.
But he had now gone six whole days without a drop to drink. And that was about six days longer than he could remember ever abstaining in years. It hadn’t been easy. He’d felt a little shaky…and more than a little sick.
But he’d held firm.
So though he wasn’t quite man enough to tell strangers about his problems, he’d decided to take Vanessa up on her offer. He and Vanessa Anderson had known each other forever and had always been firm friends, not lovers.
In addition, he’d heard rumors that she, too, had had to deal with some demons in her past.
“Austin, you did the right thing,” Vanessa said as she sat down on the other vacant chair in the examining room of the doctor’s office. “Asking for help is never easy. Some would say it’s the most difficult thing to ever do.”
Though Vanessa’s heart was in the right place, Austin wasn’t the least bit reassured by her remarks. In his book, a man should be better than his addictions. And so far, he’d done nothing but give in to his weaknesses at every turn.
“I’m just trying to get on with my life,” he said through clenched teeth. “That’s all.”
“So…there’s a meeting tonight. At seven o’clock at church. You going?”
“I’m thinking about it.” Already his palms were sweating at the thought of going. What would they make him do? Tell his whole life story, which was nothing all that bad?
Make him admit over and over that he was an idiot?
And what if he saw people there he knew? His reputation as a Wright wasn’t all that great in the first place. What was going to happen once everyone got a load of his latest batch of problems?
She gripped his shoulder and squeezed lightly. “It’s going to be okay, Austin. Look, this is what I’m going to do. I’m going to give you a tetanus booster, and then I’m going to make sure you have my cell-phone number. It’s sheer luck that I picked up my home line yesterday afternoon. I want you to promise me that you’ll call my cell if you ever want to talk about the meetings. Or anything.”
She wasn’t making a pass at him. She wasn’t treating his problem like a personal failure or like he should have been tougher than a bottle of Jim Beam.
Instead, she was offering him a hand. And that hand was so tempting but also so hard to accept, he could hardly look at her. “I don’t know if I can actually go in that room, Van.”
“Then don’t think. Just go.” She paused. “And if you find you’re sitting in your truck, trying to find the will to open your door, call me. I’ll talk you through it.”
Offers like that didn’t come easily. “Wow. I appreciate it, Vanessa.”
“Hey, now. There’s no need to turn bashful on me, Austin. I’ve been where you are. I promise you that.”
“I still can’t believe you were hooked on painkillers. I never knew until you told me.”
“That’s because I got help. It wasn’t easy, but I did it.” Her eyes shone as she continued. “I promise, there’s a whole life for you on the other side, Austin. You’ve just got to make the choice to change. We both know that not everyone does.”
He blinked, wondering if she was referring to his father. But even if she was, he let it slide. It was what it was—and he kind of figured there was little he could do about his father anyway. Thirty-plus years of being a disappointment pretty much cemented a man’s reputation.
Putting on his hat, he nodded to Van. “Thanks for the shot and the ear. I was feeling like I had to move forward or I was never going to do a thing.”
“Like I said, I’ve been there.” Her gaze softened as she walked with him to the front door. The waiting room was vacant, and after he opened the glass door, she leaned into the opening slightly. The warm sun illuminated her skin just a little more, making her somewhat ordinary looks seem all of a sudden striking.
Before he thought how it might look, he wrapped her in a loose embrace and kissed her forehead. “I owe you, honey. Thank you.”
“You don’t owe me for this, Austin,” she said. Her smile widened, and then she looked thoughtful as she glanced beyond him. “I think I should let you be going,” she said cryptically as she went back inside.
Austin turned around to catch who’d caught her eye.
Then felt as if he’d just fallen over a cliff. “Hey, Dinah.”
She was looking him over as though he was no better than an old Coke can that someone had tossed out the back window of their Chevy.
“Making the rounds this morning?”
Her voice was as sweet as corn syrup left out on the counter too long. It was obvious she’d misread his hug with Vanessa. Well, if she had, he was glad of that. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to know that he’d been at the clinic for testing and rehab advice.
“I’m getting a couple of things done. You?”
“I’m doing the same.” Hazel eyes skimmed over him again as she tucked in her tan shirt a little more securely into the waistband of her jeans. “Just, you know…making the rounds, too.” She coughed. “But for me, it’s work.”
“It’s always work, right?”
She pursed her lips before answering. “Duke was out of town yesterday. I couldn’t go out to lunch.”
“You told me.” Austin smiled. He couldn’t help it. He liked putting her on the spot, just a little bit. Besides, she was cute. He knew to most people, Sheriff Hart was about the least “cute” woman in town.
A lot of the older men in Roundup didn’t really trust a woman sheriff. They kept waiting for her to mess up. Added to the fact that a number of ranches in the vicinity were on alert because of the recent thefts in the area, and the fact that the Harts’ fancy bucking horse was still missing? Well, a lot of people were just socking it all away as ammunition for the next election.
Others only saw Dinah as a Hart. Part of the rodeo royalty in the area. Though they didn’t have bunches of money, their reputation was as good as gold. They won buckles, they had honor and they were fearless.
They also stuck together like a school of fish. Their ranks were solid and next to impossible to break. So even though he was a Wright—which meant he had a snowball’s chance in hell to ever date her seriously—he couldn’t resist pretending he had a shot with her. “I’m about to go down to the market and grab a couple of sandwiches and eat on the park bench. Want to join me?”
“It’s kind of early for lunch.”
“I know. But I’ve been up for hours. And I’d rather eat outside instead of in the store.” Since she looked interested but just as skittish as a new foal…he kept talking. “Dinah, I know you’ve got to be prepared for just about anything…but I figure if you’re in the town square, you’ll be able to swoop down and stop any jaywalkers that might come upon us.”
“I do more than stop jaywalkers.”
“I know. I’m also starting to get the feeling you don’t eat all that much.”