June had remembered to light them to stave off the last of the summer mosquitoes, though she had to admit the candles, combined with a couple of solar-powered iron lanterns and a string of twinkling fairy lights, gave the deck a much more romantic appearance than Katie was comfortable with at the moment.
She caught Ryan watching as she savored her last bite. He gave her an open smile that spoke of campfires and sneaking out at night to the swimming pool when they were kids, of the delicious tingle that had arisen under Katie’s skin every time their limbs had brushed together.
How quickly life could change without notice, how easily the past could merge into the present...the future. Heat spread through her chest as the notion slipped into her mind, causing her to pull away from his gaze and stare down into her lap.
Ryan is the past, and only the past, she reminded herself in warning.
Letting him become anything else would only lead to sorrow again.
Katie set her shoulders back and lifted her chin. The look in his eyes as she caught them this time was both familiar and strange; it held a disconcerting mix of what they’d been and what she’d once wanted them to become. Part of her had enjoyed spending time with two of her favorite people as if not a day had passed since they were younger, but a wiser part was certain it wouldn’t last.
She didn’t regret inviting him to stay for dinner, and she’d been pleasantly surprised how easily his presence fit in with hers and June’s. And it was kind of Ryan to offer to drive her out to the camping ground in a few days, but she knew suddenly that she couldn’t ask him to stay the weekend, even though it would mean a canceled hayride and making plans for someone to drive her home. When he dropped her and the supplies off and headed back out of her life, she would feel relief.
Katie closed her eyes.
Another jolt of pain, too, but mostly relief.
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