The Amish Widow's Secret. Cheryl Williford

Would you like to say the words to my face?” Her small hands were fisted, her back straight and strong as she glared at the community leader.

      Adolph shoved back his chair and stood.

      “Shut your mouth, Sarah Yoder. I will not have you speak to the Bishop like this. You are out of line. You will speak to him with respect.”

      “My name is Nolt, Daed. No longer Yoder. And I will not be told to hush like some young bensel. If the Bishop has something to say, he need only open his mouth or call one of his meetings.”

      Mose rose. Gott, hold Sarah’s tongue. She had already dug a deep well of trouble with her words. Her actions were unwise, but he would not stand by and watch her be pulled down further by her father’s lack of protection. Let the Bishop show proof of her actions and present them in a proper setting if he had issues with her.

      Bishop Miller’s wife hurried to Sarah and put her arms around her trembling body. “Let us leave all this for today and have cold tea in the kitchen. We’re all tired and nerves frayed. Today a barn goes up. It is a happy day, Sarah. One full of promise. Let us celebrate and not speak words that cannot be taken back.”

      Mose waited, wondering if Sarah would relent. She turned and stared deep into the eyes of the woman next to her. Moments passed and then she crumbled, tears running down her face as she was escorted away.

      Mose watched the door shut behind the women. He longed to know if Sarah was all right but knew she wouldn’t want him interfering. “What’s going on?” Mose murmured to Eric, Sarah’s brother.

      “Someone has found proof that Sarah was the one who gave money to Lukas, a young teenager who recently ran away from the community.”

      “Money? Why would she do that?” They spoke in whispers, his food forgotten.

      “I only heard a moment of conversation but it seems Daed saw her speaking with the boy’s younger brother the day before Lukas took him and left for places unknown.”

      “That’s not solid proof. Sarah must be given a chance to redeem herself.”

      “She’ll get her chance. A meeting has been called, and I plan to talk to Bishop Miller before it comes around. I suspect she’ll be shunned, but I have to make an effort to calm the waters. Lord alone knows what would happen to her if she’s forced to live amongst the Englisch.” Eric got up to leave, but turned back to Mose. “Marta’s offered to look after the kinder at our house until tomorrow. Sarah is too upset to think clearly. ”

      * * *

      Tired from the long day of cooking and cleaning, Sarah lay across her childhood bed on the second floor of her father’s house, her pillow wet from tears. She cried for Joseph, for the life she’d lost with him, and for the loneliness she’d felt every day since he’d died. She needed Joseph and he was gone forever.

      Marta held her hand in a firm grip. “You mustn’t fret so, Sarah. The children can stay with Eric and me tonight. Most likely you will be given a talking to tomorrow and nothing more.”

      “And if I’m shunned, what then? You and Eric won’t be allowed to talk to me. The whole community will say I’m dead to them. Who will I call family?”

      “Why did you give Lukas money? You knew you ran the risk of being found out.”

      Sarah sat up, tucking her dress under her legs. Marta handed her a clean white handkerchief and watched as Sarah wiped the tears off her face. “I couldn’t take it anymore. Every day I heard the abuse. Every day I heard the boys crying out in pain.”

      “Did you talk to any of the elders about this?”

      “I talked to them but they put me off, said I was a woman and didn’t understand the role a father played in a boy’s life.” Sarah blew her nose and tried to regain control of the tremors that shook her body.

      “But surely beating a young boy senseless is not in Gott’s plan. Do you believe your daed would tell on you if he knew it was you who gave the boys money?”

      “Of course he would, but he didn’t know. I made sure he was gone the day I slipped money to Lukas.”

      “Then how?”

      Sarah smoothed the wrinkles out of her quilt and set the bed back in order. “It doesn’t matter now.”

      “How would you survive among the Englisch? You know nothing about them. Your whole life has been Amish. I fear for you, Sarah.” Marta brushed away her tears as they continued to fall.

      A shiver ran through Sarah as she thought about what Marta said. She wouldn’t be strong enough to endure the radical changes that would have faced her. Thank Gott for Mose’s offer of marriage, for the opportunity to go to Sarasota and leave all this behind. But would he want to marry her if she was shunned and was she prepared for a loveless marriage? She feared not. Gott’s will. Grab hold of Gott’s will.